A Picture Perfect Chocolate River And White Canoe

The three days following my hospital stay were worst than the trip to the hospital. At least the hospital had designated visitation hours, at home people felt as if they were free to come and go as much as they want.

The only time I got anytime to myself was when I was in the bathroom, and I couldn't even be in there too long before someone came checking to make sure I was okay.

It was cute and welcoming and greatly appreciated at first but now I was over it. The only reason I continued to bite my tongue was because I felt I owed it to everyone after all the worrying I put them through.

I was finally feeling back to my usual self and actually managed to make it out of the house. Of course the first and only place I was going was Write Me Love, and I’m sure everyone knew that and would bug me there, but I didn't care.

After unlocking the door and flipping the light switch, I breathed a sigh of content at my home away from home.

The air smelled of books and the faint scent of the few dozen unlit candles I had randomly placed around. I took a few deep breathes as I walked around getting the place ready for customers.

I turned some music on and busied myself, yet of course the one thing I couldn't busy was my mind. I’d seen John more this past week than I had in the past few months and it was starting to have an affect on me. Even though when he came to visit recently he didn't do much but stand in the corner staring at me.

I was starting to miss him.

It was easy when I never really saw him, out of sight, out of mind, but seeing him and not being able to touch or talk to him was killing me.

It shouldn't for obvious reasons but it was.

It was his soft hair, smooth skin, beautiful deep eyes, how could I not dream about him every night. How could I not want to be near him?

Some days I’d wake up and our past together would seem like a far away dream. Like something my mind had conjured up from reading too many fairy tales and watching too many teen dramas. Like something I’d always be able to see but never be able to touch.

I wonder if I was that for him?

Or if our relationship was just a phase to him, a chapter of his life filled with unnecessary drama and lies that he’s glad to be done with?

I was too wrapped up in my pity party that I didn't notice I wasn't alone in the store until I heard my music stop. I turned to my iPod dock with surprise that quickly turned into slight annoyance when I saw who it was.

“Get out.”

“This is a public place.”

“John Alexander, as your mother, I am demanding that you get as far away from here as possible.”

My son rolled his dark eyes and took a seat on a nearby loveseat. “I’d love to mom but we haven’t gotten any tour offers yet so you're stuck with me.”

I gave him a look only for it to be answered with a wide lopsided grin that I couldn't help but love. “Seriously Lex, why are you here?” I asked after greeting the customer that had just walked through the door.

“Well, your birthday’s coming up and me and Lola were thinking…”