She Used to Be a Pearl

"Thank you all! You were a fucking great crowd! Drive safely." I announced before running off the stage.

I can't believe I said those things to Caty. My girl. God I'm a dick, I don't deserve her.

I tried to make my way through a swarm of people as fast as I possibly could. I ran to the bus and jumped onto it.

"Caty?" I called out. "Caty, please be here."

I checked every possible inch of the bus. Her stuff was gone. She was gone.

"Fuck!" I screamed. I ran a hand through my hair and looked around again. "She's gone."

I should have never told her that she was a shitty girlfriend. If anything, I'm a shitty boyfriend, I never told her how much I really cared about her. I definitely didn't tell her that I loved her enough. She's going to go home and find some guy a million times better than me.

Why can't I keep a girl? Is it me? I tried, I swear to god I tried. I just love her. I can't get over her. I won't get over her.

"Dude, what's going on?" Jared asked coming through the door gingerly.

I ran my hands over my face and looked at him.

"She's gone." I stated as I sat down.

"Caty?"

"Yeah." I answered shortly.

"Well... Where did she go...?" He asked.

"She fucking left, okay?" I screamed. "She's probably halfway home by now because I'm a fucking jackass!" I yelled as I stood up and punched the wall. I suddenly snapped out of my fit of rage when I felt my hand burning and stinging.

"Johno! What the hell?"

I pulled my hand from the hole in the wall and tried to move it. "Shit I think it's broken."

"Well yeah! You punched a hole through the wall!"

"Fuck.. Can you drive me to the hospital?"

"Yeah, man. Let's go." He sighed as he grabbed the keys off the table.

Jared kept looking over at me the whole car ride as if I was insane. Who knows, maybe I am. I can't believe I said all that stuff. I should have just told her about Daisy. So what if she cheated on me and humiliated me? I'm with Caty now. She's sweet and polite and adorable and I just have to let go of what Daisy did to me.

But... I wasn't with Caty now.

Jared pulled into the unfamiliar emergency room parking lot and I opened the car door with my good hand.

"So, uh..." Jared began awkwardly.

"I yelled at her. We had a fight and I started yelling. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have and now she's gone." I answered knowing exactly what he was getting at.

"What'd you say?" He asked.

I sighed thinking back to my extremely harsh words.

"I called her a shitty girlfriend and told her to go home and that I was done with her." I said shamefully. "Want to know the worst part? She asked me to stop yelling during the middle of it and I didn't. I fucking scared her, man. I promised myself that I would never be like that last asshole she dated and I'm just like him. I feel like a monster."

"You're not anything like that douchebag!" He exclaimed. "You love her, Johno. Yeah, you shouldn't have done that but Caty will forgive you."

"No she won't." I said walking through the automatic doors.

Jared knew that that was the end of our discussion.

I filled out the endless paperwork and waited my turn to be seen by a doctor.

Most people hate hospitals. I don't really mind them as long as I'm with the right person. Even though Jared was one of my best friends, he wasn't the right person. I just want Caty to come back. How could I have been so fucking dumb? She loved me for real. Even in the month we've been together I can tell. She's the one.

She's the one I want next to me at the hospital.

She's the one I want to wake up to.

She's the one I want to propose to.

She's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.

She's the only girl who has my heart.

"John O'Callaghan?" A nurse asked.

I stood up holding my hand and followed her back to a room. She took my blood pressure, temperature, height, and weight and then I got to sit down.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is the pain?" She asked.

The pain in my heart? That would be a 10.

"Uh, like a 6 I guess." I answered.

"Okay, what about when you move it?"

"Probably an 8."

She nodded and typed it into the computer.

"The doctor will be back shortly." She smiled.

"Thanks."

I leaned back and laid down on the bed.

"Please stop yelling,"

That was the only thing going through my mind.

How afraid she looked when I screamed.

"Hi, Mr. O'Callaghan. I'm doctor Henry Martin. How are you tonight?" The guy asked.

"I've been better." I answered truthfully.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He replied "Can I ask how this happened to your hand?" He said while looking at it.

"I, uh, punched a wall." I told him.

"Is there a reason you punched a wall?" He asked raising his eyebrow. He was probably in his late-fifties with a full head of gray hair.

"My girlfriend left me."

"I see. But you're absolutely positive you only punched the wall? I have to ask this for legal purposes."

"God no! I would never hit her! She already deserves better than me."

He was silent for a second.

"I know how you feel. This must really be tearing you up, huh?"

"Yeah, it was all my fault. I yelled at her and I told her to leave. I never should have said that, I don't know why I did."

"We all say things we don't mean sometimes, you just have to make sure that she knows when you don't mean it. I almost lost my wife that way. Don't let your girl go. Once you feel that much love with somebody you can't ever feel the same way again."

"I don't think she'd take me back." I told him.

"If she loves you as much as you love her then you might be surprised." He told me. "Now, I'm going to order some x-rays. I think your hand's broken. I can fix that, but you're going to have to fix that broken heart of yours."

A small smile found its way onto my face and I nodded.

"I'll try, sir."

"Come on, John. I think we're on a first name basis." He said before walking out of the room.

After waiting for an eternity the doctor finally came back into my room.

"John? There's somebody here to see you."