She Used to Be a Pearl

Hot tears welled up in my eyes as I placed my phone down slowly. How could I think that he would still care about me?

I started to cry, but quickly stopped myself. I need to stay strong no matter how much it hurts.

I wanted to do something to get my mind off the pain, but what was there to do in Tempe at 4 am? Nothing.

I did the only thing I could think of. I slowly crept out of my room and across the hallway.

I opened the door slowly and walked inside.

"Amanda?" I whispered.

I walked over to the edge of her bed and poked her.

"Amandaaa," I whined "Wake up."

"What do you want?" She groaned.

"I need to talk to you." I told her as my voice quivered with emotion.

"What is it?" She asked as if instantly waking up. She reached beside her and turned her lamp on. I sat down next to where she was laying and brought my knees to my chest.

"I called John."

"What did he say?!" She smiled.

"I didn't talk to him. A girl answered his phone." I told her sadly.

"You're joking." She said looking shocked.

I shook my head.

"I'm so sorry, Caty," She said hugging me "He's an idiot. I have no idea why he would do this to you."

"We're not dating anymore, I can't really be mad." I said biting my lip to hold back the sobs that desperately wanted to escape.

"Yes you can! You love him and he was with another girl. You have every right to be mad." She told me sternly.

"I really miss him." I told her as my sobs started to shake me. "I should have gone back to him when I still had the chance."

"Oh honey," Amanda sighed "Don't worry. He still loves you, he just screwed up."

"Do you think she was his new girlfriend?" I asked through my tears.

"No. He's not that dumb. She was probably just some groupie who answered his phone while he was in the bathroom or something." Amanda said.

"She said he was sleeping. They slept together, didn't they?" I questioned.

Amanda just looked down and I cried harder. I laid down on her bed and cried into her pillow while she rubbed my back. Eventually I started to feel drowsy and drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up I heard a harsh whispering outside the door.

"How could he do that? Well then hide the beer from him! She was up all night thinking about him and then cried herself to sleep in my bed. Yeah, I'd say she misses him."

I stopped listening to her one-sided phone conversation and decided to take a nice hot shower to ease the pain. I walked into our shared bathroom and stripped down. I turned the hot water knob and waited for it to heat up. Once the water was warm enough I stepped in and let it relax my muscles. As I stood in the warm water I realized something. The month I was with John was the best month of my entire life. I had someone to share my secrets with, someone to hold me, someone to kiss my worries and fears away. I had someone to love me.

I can't believe I threw that all away.

I turned the water off and grabbed my towel. I rushed into the living room to find Amanda no longer on the phone.

"Amanda!" I exclaimed.

"What?"

"I need to go back to him."