She Used to Be a Pearl

I walked out of their apartment and sat in my car. I buried my head in my hands and groaned.

"Why am I so stupid?"

Why would I get back with Daisy when I'm in love with Caty?

Because I don't deserve Caty. I deserve to be miserable with Daisy after everything I've done.

After my self pity session was over I started the car and took off towards home.

I walked in the door and went straight to my room so I could 'finish unpacking'. Or in other words, so I could wallow in my sadness alone.

I laid down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

"John?" I heard, followed by a soft knocking on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I sighed.

My mom walked in my room and sat down on the edge of my bed. I felt like I was dying and she was here to say her last goodbye.

"John, what's wrong? You've hardly spoken to anyone since you got home." She asked.

"I'm an idiot, ma." I told her, still looking up at the ceiling.

"I know, but what does that have to do with the moping?" She asked.

I chuckled.

"I got back together with Daisy."

"You what?" She gasped.

"I know, I know."

"It's your life, honey." She sighed.

"But I don't want Daisy, I want Caty back."

"She sounded like a catch."

"You don't understand, she's the one I want to wake up to in the morning, she's the first one I want to hug when I come home from tour, she's the one I want to write stupid love songs about, she's the one I want to call when I get good news or even bad news, she's the one I want to make breakfast for on Valentine's day, she's the one I want to give back rubs when she had a hard day," I took a deep breath and finally said it "She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's the one."

"Well then what are you doing sitting here?" She asked.

"She's seeing some other guy and I think she really likes him. He probably treats her like a princess."

"I bet she doesn't love him like she loves you."

"Why would she love me after all the shit I've done?"

"John, that's the thing with you. You think everything is black and white. Not everything has a clear explanation. Love is one of those gray areas. No matter what you did, Caty's heart still wants you and that's how it will always be because you found something that people look for their whole lives. You found true love."

I just sat there pondering what she said.

"Why does it have to be so hard?" I groaned, running my hands over my face.

"Just explain your feelings. I'm sure she'd at least listen to what you have to say."

"You think?" I asked.

"You'll do the right thing." She said as she patted my leg. Then she got up and left the room.

I sprung out of bed and ran down the stairs.

"John, what are you doing?" My sister, the good Daisy, asked.

"Can't talk now, sis!" I said as I rushed out the door.

I got in my car and drove to a local flower shop. Once I found a parking space I walked in and went to the counter.

"Hi, could I have a dozen white roses?" I asked the woman.

"You sure can." She smiled as she clipped them and wrapped them up in paper and tied a bow around them with ribbon.

"Special occasion?" She asked as she rung them up.

"No. Sort of an apology gift." I explained as I handed her the money.

"I see. Well, if I were her I would love them." She said.

"Thanks. Have a great night." I said as I grabbed them off the counter and jogged out of the shop.

"You too." She called.

I got back in the car and laid the flowers on the passenger seat.

My stupid grin wouldn't fade the whole time I was driving. I just kept thinking about Caty and all the things I love about her. Everything about her was so mesmerizing. Her perfectly soft lips and her dark brown hair that always looked perfect. She's a truly beautiful person inside and out.

I pulled up to her apartment and got out of my car. I straightened out my shirt and ran a hand through my hair. I chuckled out loud due to my giddiness. I took a deep breath and held the roses close to my chest. Finally, I started to walk towards her apartment. I looked up at the door and dropped the roses on the ground.

She was outside of her door hugging a guy I assumed to be Alex.

My heart completely shattered at that second. I stared at the two for a moment before picking up the flowers and trudging back to my car.
I got inside and tried to swallow the lump that formed in my throat. I literally had pain in my heart. If this is how Caty felt when she saw me with Daisy or that other chick then I deserve to get the shit beat out of me.

I kept watching and saw him enter her apartment. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck!" I shouted.

I gripped the wheel with white knuckles and took off. I sped home and barely stopped the car before stomping out and barging through the door and slamming it behind me. I threw my shoes to the side and chucked the roses towards the kitchen.

"John! What the hell is wrong with you?" My dad shouted.

I looked at him and broke down. I wasn't crying, but I was so upset that I couldn't form a sentence let alone take a deep breath. I sat on the stairs with my head in my hands. I heard him walk towards me slowly and sit down beside me. He put his arm around my shoulders.

"I just want her back." I kept repeating.

"Don't worry, John. It's gonna be okay." He told me.

I finally calmed down enough to talk to him.

"I went to her apartment and she was hugging that guy then he went inside with her." I explained.

My dad frowned and patted my back.

"You'll be fine, John. You won't let her get away." He said as he stood up.

"How do you know? Maybe this is karma for all the stupid shit I do!" I argued.

"Don't worry, John. Everything will work out." He said before leaving.

I hope so.