She Used to Be a Pearl

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" John asked me for the millionth time.

"Yes." I answered as he picked up my luggage and loaded it into the humongous tour bus.

I owed it to Amanda.

"Because if you really don't want to we can figure something out. I don't want you to feel like you're being forced into this." He rambled.

Forced. A word I was too familiar with.

"It's fine, John." I assured him.

He looked at me and gave me a crooked grin.

"What?" I asked feeling extremely self conscious.

"I just...nothing." He finally said.

I frowned and walked back into the bus. It was so obvious that none of them even wanted me here. I'm awkward and no fun. I don't drink or party. He was asking if I was okay with coming because he wants me to leave.

I quickly fought the tears forming in my eyes that were followed by a pounding in my head.

I felt like an idiot standing in the middle of the bus trying not to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Kennedy asked. "You look like you just lost your best friend."

I forced a small smile and shook my head.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"Don't lie to me." He jokingly warned.

My breath hitched in my throat at that sentence. Even though he had said it in a non-threatening manner it still managed to bring those events that I tried so hard to forget to the forefront of my mind.

I fought the tears once again and held my head.

"I have a headache. I'm going to go rest." I informed him.

Before he could say anything I made a B-line to my bunk which was covered in purple sheets and too many pillows. I crawled in and closed the curtain.

I let the tears flow down my cheeks silently until I fell asleep.

_________________________________

"Where did Caty go?" I asked Kennedy once I stepped onto the bus.

"She's taking a nap." He replied. "What'd you say to her?"

"What are you talking about?" I questioned.

"She looked like she was going to cry."

Then it hit me. She was offended by what I said.

I was going to tell her that I loved the way she said my name, but I thought it would be coming on too strong.

I felt something for her. I don't know why, but she just amazes me. I want to know her story. I want to know everything about her.

Ignoring further questions from Kenny I started to walk back to the bunk room but stopped when I heard sniffling.

Fuck. She was crying.

I knew it couldn't have been from what I said.

Somebody broke her. I don't who or how, but they did.

But there's one thing I'm sure of. I am going to fix her.

I don't care how long it takes, I'm going to get her to trust me. I'm going to get her to smile and laugh. I'm going to get her to love me.