Glitter Babies

"Does it look good?" Willow asked anxiously.

"Yeah, it does," I said. We had used the never used Christmas decorations which had been in my garage. We put them up when my mother was alive, which was years and years ago. And seeing the delicate white and gold decorations gave me that same aching feeling. The feeling I got when I wish she was alive.
"Do you like it?" Willow asked nervously.

"Yeah. Thanks for doing this," I said.

"My pleasure," she replied, carefully reaching her arms out for me.

I grinned and kissed her, trying to remember a time when I had felt so human.




Recording ten, my room.

I'm afraid.

I'm very afraid.



Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder how my life would be if my mother was alive... Or if my dad cared. It was a painful game I played, just for kicks. I wondered if I would have joined the football team or not be failing my AP Econ class if Morrison was still alive. Pictures from faraway countries and seldom phone calls from a grouchy dad kind of give you free time to fuck your mind around like that. And I don't mean to sound like some angsty-cliché-sad-guy. It's just enticing to imagine. But I always end up listening the fucking saddest songs on my iPod and feeling like a bigger jackass than I did when I started. I was going through one of these strange bouts when I got a call from Kissy.

It was like the girl could tell when I needed to get laid.

I told her not to come over. I told her I had a girlfriend.

And I thought that would somehow not make me feel so fucking happy. But it didn't. Then I started thinking about how it would be to sleep with Willow. And that made me even more depressed.

So I called Riley and Ethan.

"Hey Fin-lay!" Riley cried as soon as she entered the space and she stopped dead at the sight of the tree.
The champagne bottles in her hands went limp.

"Why the fuck do you have a tree?" She asked feebly and Ethan had a questioning look on his face.
"Why not?" I said lazily, reaching for the bottles in her hand.

"Okay, Grinch," Riley muttered under her breath. The she started jabbing her finger at my direction and yelping, "Hey, hey, hey!"

"What?" I asked.

"Call Willow and tell her to come over, I wanna meet her," she cried.

"Nuh uh," I said, walking to the kitchen to open the bottles. She nodded.

"Are you guys officially 'together'?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, getting out some glasses.

"Well, why do you look someone has been tea bagging you all day?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know," I muttered, handing them all a drink.

"Where's Riles?" I asked, glancing around, but I could hear her soprano voice coming from the living room.

She was on my celphone.

"Yeah, come on over Willow," she said into the phone.

"Uh huh," she said, smiling.

I almost lunged for the phone. As much as I liked to be with Willow, I felt too crappy and all I wanted to do was get wasted.

Riley stood with a sheepish grin on her face as she hung up the phone.

"What?" She asked innocently and I smiled.

Two minutes later, Willow stood outside my door, wearing a black cashmere sweater and some blue jeans. She looked nice and I suddenly didn't feel like getting drunk anymore.

"Hey Fin," she greeted me and smiled. She carefully reached up and pecked my lips.

I took her hand and she grinned.

"Hey Willow!" Riley and Ethan chorused as she entered.

"Hi guys," she said in her small voice.

The mood suddenly changed and Riley stole Willow away and began giggling hysterically. Ethan looked at me, "It seems like they'll get along."

"Hopefully, yeah," I muttered, grinning at Willow's almost incredulous expression as she gazed at the floor and listened to Riley's feverish words.

"You never told me you were a boy scout!" Willow screeched in delight to me and Riley gave me a devilish smirk.

I rolled my eyes.

Soon, the champagne was forgotten and we ended up telling scary stories by the crackling fireplace it took me forty five minutes to turn on. I had never used it before and needed to shell out the fucking manual to make it work, much to Riley and Will's delight.

Riley was telling us a story about some guy who had escaped from the mental asylum with a hook for a hand when Willow fell asleep on my shoulder. Her quiet breathing helped calm me down and I carefully set her on the couch. She slept for a while and Ethan glanced at her.

"You are so fucking whipped," He muttered.

"Yeah, I know."