Glitter Babies

"I'm thinking about dyeing my hair pink next. What do you think?"

Riley's lips moved, but my mind was elsewhere. My mind was on the two weeks I would be spending with Willow. I wondered if she would sleep in the guest room or with me...

"Fin? Fin? Pay attention!" Riley snapped, waving her hands in my face.

"Wha-what? Yeah," I recovered.

"Uh-huh, pretend like you know what I was talking about," Riley muttered under her breath and walked away.

Just as Riley was walking away from my locker, Willow was heading there.

"Hey Willy," Riley cried, giving her a hug and Wills blushed. She smiled brightly and walked to me, "Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, getting one last book out of my locker. She quickly grabbed my hand and smiled.

We quickly walked through the chilly air and into the car. My fingers reached to turn the heat up and Willow rubbed her hands together. Seriously, we California kids can't handle anything below seventy degrees.

"So..." Willow looked a bit unnerved, which was freaky.

"I heard Kissy in the bathroom, talking about you," she finally muttered.

"Yeah?" I asked disinterestedly, turning the wheel onto the street.

"Mmhmm," she said.

"And?" I asked.

"Well, she said she called you this weekend," she sighed, "And that you didn't want to...hang out with her because you had a girlfriend."

There was a long silence before I muttered, "Yeah, so?" I asked in confusion.

Isn't that supposed to be good and all? Shouldn't she be giving me a Boyfriend of the Year Award?

"Well, thanks," she muttered, "Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you don't think like a boy," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked and by the red tinge to her skin, I realized what she meant. She was thinking about what I was thinking. Sex.

Suddenly, a strange thought crossed my mind and before I could even consider what I was going to say or how to phrase it, the words escaped my mouth.

"You're a virgin?" I meant to ask it as a question, but the tone was off and it sounded like a statement.
Abruptly, Willow's blushing face changed into a smile. And she started laughing. Fucking laughing.

"What?" I asked.

"You-think-I'm a- virgin?" she spluttered.

The car swerved a bit before I regained control.

She wasn't?

Willow's giggled quieted and I was in silence. I couldn't believe that.
"What?" Willow muttered silently.

"I just... um, didn't expect that," I said.

"Well...I'm sorry if I didn't give you the answer you wanted," she said, a little miffed.

"No -it's not like that. I-" I couldn’t finish my sentence.

"Well... if it makes you feel any better I only did it once...," she murmured almost inaudibly and she looked up and blinked a lot. She was trying not to cry. And I automatically knew who she had slept with.

Teddy.

I didn't know if I was jealous anymore. I was kind of angry. This guy had been with her in a way I hadn't and he was messing her up now? Why?

"It doesn't make me feel any better," I muttered.

"Fin. It doesn't matter. I'm with you and that's it," she said.

"No, that's not it," I said, "I guess I should just throw all my preconceived notions about you out the window," I said.
"Yeah... you probably should," she whispered.



Recording eleven. My room.

What? It's been a while since I recorded anything.

But I have a lot to say now. I've just been to freaking ashamed to say anything... Or to think anything. Well, Fin's my boyfriend. And I can't believe that. Really, I can't. That was not the way I thought things would go. Ha. Well.

It's nearly my birthday but for some reason I haven't told him. I don't know why. I'm scared he'll get me a million dollar necklace or something. That's just the way he is. I told Finley I wasn't a virgin today. And I totally set myself up for that one. But I have this feeling... it's really strange. Like I'm going to have to tell him everything sooner or later.

And I'm afraid he'll not want me anymore.
He expects too much.