What You Mean to Me

Lena.

I hate that bitch! I wish that Nora girl would just drop off the face of the planet! Every time I try to talk to Frank, she's always there, hanging on him, never even giving him a chance to breathe!

Nora is Frank's girlfriend. They've been together now for exactly one year, six months, and twenty-four days… not that I'm counting or anything…

And I absolutely despise the girl.

She has everything that I could ever want… and that's Frank.

I remember when I first realized that I was in love with Frank. Well, you see, I'd always had a little crush on him growing up. He was the cutest guy on the playground, and he was my best friend, so I was constantly around him, so that didn't help much. Then as we grew up, Frank became even more good-looking in my eyes, with his dark hair, green eyes, and looking like the gorgeous Italian boy he was.

But anyways, we were in France for New Years, and this was about three years ago, because we were fourteen at the time. Me, Frank, and our moms were at the Eiffel Tower, waiting for midnight, and totally psyched 'cause we were in Paris of all places for New Years.

I remember Frank's arm was around me, and we were kind of leaning on one another, waiting, with my head resting on his shoulder. Then the fireworks started, and they were absolutely amazing. Reds, blues, pinks, greens, purples, and golds exploded around us, lighting up the Parisian night sky, and everyone began screaming 'happy new year!' a the tops of their lungs.

I looked over at Frank, and he looked over at me, and seeing the colours of the fireworks reflecting in his eyes, I was at a loss of words. I felt my breath cut short, and I could only stare in awe at the person beside me.

His eyes were fixed on me, and he gave me the smirk that I knew him for, and I nearly fell over. He leaned closer to me, and I felt his breath on the side of my face, about to send me into convulsions.

"Happy New Year, Lena," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled at him, my eyes shining with pure love. "Happy New Year, Frank."

Sometimes I wonder why it was Frank that I had to fall in love with. Oh, wait, I can answer that easily-- because he's perfect. And I just had to be his best friend, while that Nora girl got to be his girlfriend.

I know I have a boyfriend, Jordan, but he doesn’t mean anything to me, not like what Frank means to me. Jordan's nice or whatever, but he can't compare to Frank. But then again, who the hell can?

But Nora…

I hate her!

Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. I don't hate her… I just wish that maybe she could be driving one night and have her car collide with a drunk driver and she ends up slipping into a coma. Or she could go hang out with some deer and then a hunter could shoot her. On accident, of course.

You know, I say and dream up all these horrible things that I want to have happen to Nora, but the truth is, I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I'm just so incredibly jealous of all she has.

And I know she appreciates Frank. I can se the way she looks at him-- she loves him. And Frank wants to be with her. She's what makes him happy.

He only thing I want in this life is to see Frank happy. That's all I care about-- his happiness.
Him being happy means the world to me, and I would do anything to keep him smiling.

And it seems that Nora is the one who makes him happy. She's the one who brings joy to this life. And that's great, I would never want to change that, not in a million years…

I just wish I could be the one to bring a smile to his face…

I just wish I could be the one that makes Frank happy…