What You Mean to Me

Frank.

"Frankie!"
I heard the shrill voice of my girlfriend as she flung herself at me, her arms instantly wrapping around my neck to tightly, I was afraid she was going to choke me. I took a step back to steady myself, hugging her back lightly, to make sure I didn't hurt her feelings.

"Hi Nora," I smiled at her.

"Baby, I've missed you so much! I haven't seen you in so long!"

I tried not to roll my eyes. She had seen me the period before last. I just smiled again, and she pulled my arm around her shoulders as we began to walk towards the big oak tree that we ate lunch at.

Under the shade of the leaves, I saw our friends: there was Jessica and Janet, Nora's best friends. They were the blonde twins, assistant captains of the cheerleading squad, with Nora as captain, and followed her like a shadow.

There was also Todd, Jessica's boyfriend, and Noah, Janet's boyfriend, as well as a few other people Nora was friends with.

Then there was Mikey. Mikey was a good friend of mine, whom I had known since I was a kid, and a friend of Lena's as well.

Jordan, Lena's boyfriend, was there too, and he was gently rubbing her shoulders, even though it didn't seems that she noticed. I felt jealousy stab me in the chest.

And of course, there was my beloved Lena. She was sitting under the tree, her laptop in front of her, her eyes scanning the screen intently, as she typed away furiously, hitting an assortment of different keys.

As I approached with Nora, her eyes looked up to lock with mine momentarily, before they turned as hard as stone, averting back to the screen coldly.

"Hey guys," I said, mostly to Mikey and Lena.

I got a chorus of hellos from Nora's friends as well, and sat down on the grass with them all. Nora began chatting with her friends, leaving me to do my own thing, for once it seemed, and I couldn't help but stare at Lena.

Her hair was pulled back off her face, but there were a few wisps of her hair on the left side that had come loose, that blew in the breeze, I noticed how she seemed to be concentrating on whatever that was on the screen, her eyes squinted ever-so-slightly.

She looked beautiful.

But why had she acted to coldly to me before when I had walked over with Nora?

"Okay Mikey, done," she sighed happily, moving away from Jordan and closer to Mikey to show him the screen of the laptop. "So? What do you think? You like it?"

"Like what?" I asked, not liking the idea of being left out on something.

I quickly got up, sitting behind the two of them, so I could see what was on the screen. I leaned forward, my arm brushing against Lena's in the process. There, I saw a drawing that Lena had created.

"It's an idea for an album cover," Lena explained. "What do you think?"

I smiled. "I think it's great."

And it really was. I was a part of a band with Mikey, and we had been wanting to create an album for the longest time with the songs we had written. When we had said that, Lena immediately put her artistic skills to work, and along with Gerard, Mikey's older brother and a member of the band, they began to come up with ideas.

Lena had always been so supportive about my love for music. We ha learned to play guitar together, but she then suddenly stopped playing a few years ago. She claims that it was because she suddenly lost interest in playing the guitar, and wanted to try something new, but I know that isn't true.

The reason why Lena had stopped playing was to make me feel better about myself. Lena had always been so much better at playing than I ever had been. In the beginning, she could perfect a set of chords in one-third of the time it would take me to get a decent understanding of what I had to do.

Her playing skills were amazing, but she knew that playing guitar was the one dream I had, and so she gave it up.

For me.

She didn't want me to feel inadequate, having to compete with her, so she stopped.

For me.

She wanted me to pursue my dream.

So she stopped playing, but used the same energies she had put forth doing that was now focused on me, to encourage me to do the best I could. And I did do better. I think I actually play guitar pretty well.

But that was how Lena was. She was always so supportive of me, always encouraging me to do things that I liked, to never let anyone break me down or tell me I wasn't good enough.

I remember this one time, it was freshmen year, actually, so about two years ago. There was this one guy, Luke, whom we both had known since elementary school. He was a jock, the type who thought he was better than everyone else, and made my life a living hell. He would constantly make fun of me, push me into lockers, bully me.

Lena always thought that I should stand up for myself, but I never had the guts to. So one day, we were at school, at lunch, and Luke comes over and starts making fun of me, as usual. I just brush it off, not doing anything, then he crosses the line, talking about my father, saying he was an alcoholic, and an abuser, and that was why he and my mom weren't together, only saying it in a much meaner way.

It got me upset, but I didn't do anything. I couldn't- I was too afraid. So Lena did something for me.

She beat the hell out of Luke, right there in front of everyone.

She got suspended for a week, but returned to school a hero in both my eyes, and the eyes of everyone else. She came out with a bloody lip, and everyone wanted to know what had happened, as in, if she was okay.

She only smiled and gave a small laugh, saying, 'I'm fine, but Luke is the one in a morgue right now.'

That wasn't true. Luke was so embarrassed that Lena, the girl he had the hotts for, had fought him, and that she had beat him up too. So he had transferred out, and persuaded his parents to send him to boarding school in England.

Lena had always been a great friend to me. The last thing she had wanted was for no one to ever get in the way of what I truly wanted.

I guess she would be pretty disappointed if she found out I wasn't going after the one thing I truly did want. She would also be disappointed if she found out that I was the one holding me back from going after the one thing that I truly did want.

But the one thing I truly did want was her.