My Dear Romeo
One and Only
I really, truly missed him. I miss all his flaws and perfection. The white nerdy glasses, the ancient pipe he insisted on smoking even though it made him sick, and the way he could always make me laugh. A sense of humor that went beyond measure, just for me, except for now and it’s my fault he’s gone.
I don’t regret sending him away though. He deserved better so I sent him off to the world to follow his silly dream of being a musician. And now it’s been three years, three years of me thinking about him and his pretty face every day. He’s called occasionally, not as much now though; it’s been at least a month since I last talked to him.
When I convinced him to leave, I knew I would probably fade into the background to eventually be entirely forgotten. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much. Not seeing him was like quitting methamphetamine, you get an incredible high when you’re on it, but when it’s gone, you have the crappiest feeling in the whole freaking world. But he was worth it, he was special, and his happiness meant the world to me.
I’d been following him online and in magazines. He’s been getting pretty big too. He had finally been signed by a big label company that saw the shining boy I knew. He was releasing the album out today, and I’d been waiting in line for the past couple hours to buy the first copy. I imagined what he was doing right then as I waited for the bookstore to open.
When the book store finally opened its doors, I rushed to the CD rack and grabbed the first one of the shelf. The album cover was a strange collage, but I could see his face faintly behind the millions of other photos on it. I stroked my hand over the shiny plastic film that protected it and walked over to the register while I looked at the glossy cover remembering the boy I’d always loved. As I handed the album to the cashier, I read the album title that I had already known for the past month: My Dear Juliet.
It was a sweet name for the album and it matched his writing style perfectly. I wondered who was the lucky girl he had named the album after. I hoped they would be happy. I know it’s strange for me to want him to be happy with another girl, but someone once said true love isn't wanting to be happy with someone it's wanting them to be happy even if it’s with someone else.
“If you want to buy only this you’ll have to go to the back of the store, we’re having a special event”, the cashier told me and pointed to the back of the store with a long witch like finger. I felt momentarily confused. There was nothing about a special event on the website. I sighed and grabbed the CD before glumly heading to the back of store.
I really was happy for him, but it hurt like hell, and wondering about him and his life all the time made me sad. His life without me in it.
At the back of the store was a little table set up with about a million people already in line. I wondered what they could possibly have going on. It’s not like they could have anything too special; we were just a little stupid suburb that was identical to just about any other suburb. It took an hour to get close to the front of the line. I kept my head down and ignored the eager whispers of bystanders. I just wanted to buy the album and go back home.
I was about three people away from the front as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Then I was two people away, one person away. I just wanted to go home and listen to the album over and over again pretending he still lived here, singing me a lullaby.
As the last person in front of me left, I looked up. At first I didn’t believe I was looking into those beautiful golden eyes again and they were staring back at me.
“Jules?” he asked as he slowly stood up looking just like he did when he left.
“Sasha! What are you doing back here?” I squealed in the special voice that only came out whenever he was around.
“I’m here for the CD signing. You know you didn’t have to wait in line to see me Jules, there’s never a line for you.” Sasha climbed over the booth and held me in long tight hug. The people in the background melted away as I smelled the familiar pipe smoke and faint cologne.
After a minute or two, I pulled away not wanting to offend his new girl, whoever he had named the album after. It would have meant something to him; he wouldn’t name it that just to get a bunch of little teenage girls to buy his album. Sasha pulled me back into the warm, tight hug though.
When he did finally agree to pull away, he looked directly into my eyes and asked me a question, “Wanna get out of here?”
I just looked up at him dumbfounded with a huge grin on my face as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the crowd, out the book shop, and into a Porsche that waited outside. He grinned at me and drove us away from the book shop, away from the glares of a 1,000 angry and angsty girls.
I laughed as he recklessly drove. Every so often he would glance over at me as I foolishly smiled. After twenty minutes, he pulled into a park, the park. It was the park we had practically grown up in. We knew every inch of it from the sandbox to the make out bench hidden by a million trees.
Sasha got out of the car, and I followed while he led me to the secret spot where we had spent most of our time together, where we had our first kiss, our first secret, our first love. We sat together under one of the countless trees. Sasha looked up and traced over the heart we had carved into the tree so many years ago before reaching down and intertwining our fingers. I hesitated at first but just gave in.
“You know I missed you like hell Jules.” Sasha said after a few minutes of silence.
“I missed you too” I whispered, “Every day you were gone, I missed you like hell.”
Sasha looked up me with his sparkling childlike eyes and pulled me closer into the kiss I had been missing for three years, but I pulled away as fast as I could, “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
Sasha gave me a puzzled look, “No of course not Jules, I could never be with anyone but you.”
“But your album, i-it was for a girl, I know it was. You wouldn’t have named it My Dear Juliet for nothing.” I half-argued feeling incredibly confused.
“You’re right I did name it after a girl,” He responded as he lightly kissed my temple, “you.”
I smiled at him knowing three years hadn’t changed a thing and that Sasha would always be my dear Romeo.
I don’t regret sending him away though. He deserved better so I sent him off to the world to follow his silly dream of being a musician. And now it’s been three years, three years of me thinking about him and his pretty face every day. He’s called occasionally, not as much now though; it’s been at least a month since I last talked to him.
When I convinced him to leave, I knew I would probably fade into the background to eventually be entirely forgotten. I just didn’t think it would hurt this much. Not seeing him was like quitting methamphetamine, you get an incredible high when you’re on it, but when it’s gone, you have the crappiest feeling in the whole freaking world. But he was worth it, he was special, and his happiness meant the world to me.
I’d been following him online and in magazines. He’s been getting pretty big too. He had finally been signed by a big label company that saw the shining boy I knew. He was releasing the album out today, and I’d been waiting in line for the past couple hours to buy the first copy. I imagined what he was doing right then as I waited for the bookstore to open.
When the book store finally opened its doors, I rushed to the CD rack and grabbed the first one of the shelf. The album cover was a strange collage, but I could see his face faintly behind the millions of other photos on it. I stroked my hand over the shiny plastic film that protected it and walked over to the register while I looked at the glossy cover remembering the boy I’d always loved. As I handed the album to the cashier, I read the album title that I had already known for the past month: My Dear Juliet.
It was a sweet name for the album and it matched his writing style perfectly. I wondered who was the lucky girl he had named the album after. I hoped they would be happy. I know it’s strange for me to want him to be happy with another girl, but someone once said true love isn't wanting to be happy with someone it's wanting them to be happy even if it’s with someone else.
“If you want to buy only this you’ll have to go to the back of the store, we’re having a special event”, the cashier told me and pointed to the back of the store with a long witch like finger. I felt momentarily confused. There was nothing about a special event on the website. I sighed and grabbed the CD before glumly heading to the back of store.
I really was happy for him, but it hurt like hell, and wondering about him and his life all the time made me sad. His life without me in it.
At the back of the store was a little table set up with about a million people already in line. I wondered what they could possibly have going on. It’s not like they could have anything too special; we were just a little stupid suburb that was identical to just about any other suburb. It took an hour to get close to the front of the line. I kept my head down and ignored the eager whispers of bystanders. I just wanted to buy the album and go back home.
I was about three people away from the front as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Then I was two people away, one person away. I just wanted to go home and listen to the album over and over again pretending he still lived here, singing me a lullaby.
As the last person in front of me left, I looked up. At first I didn’t believe I was looking into those beautiful golden eyes again and they were staring back at me.
“Jules?” he asked as he slowly stood up looking just like he did when he left.
“Sasha! What are you doing back here?” I squealed in the special voice that only came out whenever he was around.
“I’m here for the CD signing. You know you didn’t have to wait in line to see me Jules, there’s never a line for you.” Sasha climbed over the booth and held me in long tight hug. The people in the background melted away as I smelled the familiar pipe smoke and faint cologne.
After a minute or two, I pulled away not wanting to offend his new girl, whoever he had named the album after. It would have meant something to him; he wouldn’t name it that just to get a bunch of little teenage girls to buy his album. Sasha pulled me back into the warm, tight hug though.
When he did finally agree to pull away, he looked directly into my eyes and asked me a question, “Wanna get out of here?”
I just looked up at him dumbfounded with a huge grin on my face as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the crowd, out the book shop, and into a Porsche that waited outside. He grinned at me and drove us away from the book shop, away from the glares of a 1,000 angry and angsty girls.
I laughed as he recklessly drove. Every so often he would glance over at me as I foolishly smiled. After twenty minutes, he pulled into a park, the park. It was the park we had practically grown up in. We knew every inch of it from the sandbox to the make out bench hidden by a million trees.
Sasha got out of the car, and I followed while he led me to the secret spot where we had spent most of our time together, where we had our first kiss, our first secret, our first love. We sat together under one of the countless trees. Sasha looked up and traced over the heart we had carved into the tree so many years ago before reaching down and intertwining our fingers. I hesitated at first but just gave in.
“You know I missed you like hell Jules.” Sasha said after a few minutes of silence.
“I missed you too” I whispered, “Every day you were gone, I missed you like hell.”
Sasha looked up me with his sparkling childlike eyes and pulled me closer into the kiss I had been missing for three years, but I pulled away as fast as I could, “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
Sasha gave me a puzzled look, “No of course not Jules, I could never be with anyone but you.”
“But your album, i-it was for a girl, I know it was. You wouldn’t have named it My Dear Juliet for nothing.” I half-argued feeling incredibly confused.
“You’re right I did name it after a girl,” He responded as he lightly kissed my temple, “you.”
I smiled at him knowing three years hadn’t changed a thing and that Sasha would always be my dear Romeo.
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