Piece of Work

Unfortunately for me, the end of school came very quickly. Finals came and went, as did the slight comfort of having something steady in my life. I used to hate school, but in my current condition, it was almost like an escape of some sort. School was something that I could control, and it helped me forget everything.

It also helped that school was a place where Ben couldn't hurt me. If he did, no matter how sneaky he was, someone would see or find out.

But now, that unlikely paradise was gone like it was just in my imagination, a mirage in the desert.

When my phone rang the afternoon after the last day of school, as I was staring off into space, missing the haven already, I jumped and my heart began to race. There was only one person it could be, thanks to the fact that Olivia had completely cut herself off from me like I was a bad habit she had to quit cold turkey. Dan, I hadn't talked to since the first time I was hit. At the beginning, he sent me a couple texts saying hi, and even one asking if I was angry at him and if I was okay. I ignored them all, knowing the consequences if I talked to him.

"Hello," I greeted into the phone. My voice sounded shaky to my ears, but he didn't notice.

"Hey, babe. I'll pick you up at nine tonight for the party, alright?"

"Sounds good." I felt mechanical, as I guess I should have been by that point. There were only certain things I could say, certain things I could do, that didn't make him angry. But even when I followed the rules, he somehow found things that I did wrong.

"I'll see you then."

"Yup. Bye."

"Are you being distant?" His voice was starting to get cold, and I knew it was time for damage control.

"No, I'm sorry. I was just checking the clock to see what time it was now."

"Oh, okay." The tone returned to normal, and I refrained from letting out a sigh of relief. "Bye!"

"Bye." After the beep of hanging up sounded, I let out a large breath, and it sounded like I hadn't breathed in the couple of minutes the phone call lasted. Maybe I hadn't.

I did my version of watching TV before I had to get ready for the party that night. That meant that I stared blankly at the large screen, flipping through the channels while making the occasional face at some of the gross show names.

But no matter how many times I tried to push the thoughts from my mind, I couldn't help but wonder about tonight. Would Ben hit me? Would someone see him?

That last thought made me more nervous than the first. As strange as it might sound, I didn't want Ben to get caught. I really liked him, and I knew I could take what he delivered. His punches and slaps hurt like hell, but I could live through it. If someone saw and called the cops, who knew if he'd survive jail? And the thought of losing him greatly outweighed that of getting hit again.

When I got ready, I made sure that I was dressed appropriately, long jeans and a long sleeve shirt with a very modest neckline. The last thing I wanted was to have Ben call me a slut again.

At a couple minutes to nine, Ben honked the car's horn in the driveway. He was usually early, so I expected it. I raced out the door, and for the first time, Mom didn't question me.

It occurred to me as I was walking out of the house that I always hated when Mom used to nag me. But now, I wished that she'd notice the cuts and bruises and ask me what was going on. And not just ask, but press for an answer. She'd asked before, but when I snapped at her, she just turned away. She was always afraid of confrontations, and that wasn't a good thing to be as a parent.

"Hi," Ben smiled, leaning over in his seat and kissing me quickly. "You ready?"

"Yup." He revved the engine once before pulling out of the driveway and turning down the street.

We went to the party in almost complete silence. It was better that way.

A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of the house. Ben squeezed his car tightly between two other cars. Now whether we'd be able to get out again, I wasn't sure.

The second I got out of the car, Ben took my hand and kissed my cheek, automatically showing that I was his and that no one should talk to me.

Right when we got inside, Ben whispered close to my ear that he was going to get me a drink and disappeared into the kitchen. I stayed leaned against a wall, focusing on making myself as invisible as possible.

Ben came back soon enough, muttering. "There are so many people here."

"That's kind of the point of a party," I laughed, taking the cup of beer from him and taking a sip. It was a pretty big cup of beer, so since Ben wasn't a drinker, I kind of wondered why that was. Wouldn't he want me to stop drinking or something? Maybe he just didn't care.

As I tasted the cold beer in my mouth, my body immediately reacted, welcoming the drink again. It had been a long time since I'd tasted it.

Now and then, someone would say hi to Ben, and he'd talk to them briefly, but I noticed that no one talked to me, at all. For some reason, it kind of hit me about how much I'd been isolating myself from the outside world.

Before Ben, I'd been an average kid, mingling among all the social groups. Now, I was at the bottom of the social chain, equal or maybe even below the outcasts. That was certainly saying something. And the fact that it had been done so subtly kind of made me wonder a little bit. I knew things could change, but so quickly and easily? It was weird.

Ben shook my shoulder a little bit, snapping me out of my reverie. "C'mon, let's go upstairs."

Feeling the buzz of the alcohol, I nodded. I wasn't drunk by any means, but my judgment was definitely dulled.

He led me into a bedroom and started kissing me. Though in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was the right thing to do, but it didn't matter. I was too far gone.

Pushing me back onto the bed, he started to slip off my shirt, and I just went along with it, feeling his lips graze against my collarbone.

When it was all done, I got up and started to gather up my clothes. When I turned around after putting on my bra and pants, I felt Ben's fist smack against the side of my face.

"Fucking slut," he hissed. There it was; just what I didn't want. He grabbed my jaw in his hand so I was looking right into his cold, stony glare. "You weren't a virgin."

From where I was, he tossed me on the ground and spit on me before walking out of the room. "I'll be in the car," he informed before slamming the door shut behind him.

I wiped off my face for a second before grabbing my shirt and pulling it over my head again. Then, I sat with my back against the bed and breathed for a second. What I didn't understand was why Ben thought I was a virgin. I'd been around the party circuit for years. It was only natural.

As I walked out of the house, a couple of people turned to stare at me, but no one raised any questions, despite the fact that it was obvious that the injuries were new. In the back of my mind, I made a note that if anyone ever looked like they were hurt, I'd raise a question.

It's not that I wanted Ben to get caught because I didn't. It was just...

Sometimes, someone just needed a person to care. Like me.