Baby Steps

“MA!” A tiny boy voice called from upstairs; his voice floating throughout the Greenfield household in Maryland, Baltimore into the living room Alaska was in. She sat huddled on her plush crimson couch staring blankly at her television screen. She consumed herself in watching a familiar boy laugh and crack inappropriate jokes with his best friends while doing what he loved. Singing on stage passionately and ripping on the guitar like the professional he is. Alaska was so distracted she almost didn’t hear her sons plea.

“Yeah, Noah?” She called back unalarmed; his voice had been full of unanswered questions not a help for plea which calmed her stuttering heart. She heard soft little thuds above her head and tiny footsteps, each skipping a step on the wooden polished stairs. Her little boy came running in almost falling on his behind as his socks slid across the almost slippery floor. She made a mental note to make a call to carpet her floors. The last thing she needed was to send her son to the hospital because he had fallen and hurt himself. Alaska didn’t think she could handle her son hurt. Even when he was a baby and he was just learning how to use his own two feet every time he stumbled she nearly choked on her cry of helplessness. Of course her mother would merely laugh at her mother instincts and informed her it was normal for a child to stumble while they took their foot steps but it still didn’t help her close heart attack she had just watching from the sidelines.

“Careful” She scolded, “I don’t want my little boy hurt.” The smiling boy suddenly frowned and crossed his lanky arms across his chest.

“I’m not little anymore, Ma.” He growled in a boyish tone but a ghost of a smile was there, “I’m nearly seven now.” Noah cheered jumping up and down. His brown hair flopping with each bounce. Even in the darkest of times Noah brought a bright smile to her face every time. Motherhood was tough, especially while doing it as a single one but it made her cherish each moment. Though every time she looked at her son she saw what his father looked like at his age and she cringed slightly. It had been six years since he left; walking out of his family duties and continued his life on the A-list without them. It was tough sometimes to deal with, the ache in her chest noticeable but she knew it was because they had left things so horribly. She never had a change at closure. He never called, never wrote, never paid any attention the kid he knew she carried to full-term.

Noah carried a slight British accent which highly amused Alaska in an odd kind of way. Noah was basically a spitting image of his father with his ruffled light brown hair, same facial features and the same accent even though you couldn’t hear Alex’s much anymore. When Noah was born Alaska wasn’t sure what he’d look like so she gave Noah, Alex’s last name. It was the only thing he had from his father apart from looks. She knew though that in time Noah would wonder why he didn’t have a father and all of his friends did and Alaska knew she wasn’t ready to explain it yet.

Noah didn’t know anything about Alex except for the fact that he was famous. She was sure that Noah recognized his father when she watched shows like MTV or their “Straight-to-DVD” video. It was hard to miss the resemblance between the father and son.

Even though Alaska had no connection with Alex anymore she still talked to the rest of the All Time Low boys. They even knew about Noah. Every time they came home to Maryland they would visit. Noah referred to the boys as their ‘uncles’ and Alaska wouldn’t have it any other way. Even before Alex and herself dated she was best friends with All Time Low since their high school days. She knew Alex since he was younger due to the fact that his grandmother was friends with hers.

It was an enormous risk to let the boys see Noah when she didn’t want Alex to know. She made Rian, Zack, Vinny, Jack and Matt to promise not to tell Alex that they still talked. Even though she wanted closure she didn’t want to have to face him ever again. Alaska knew she would break down in tears and demand to know why he left if he claimed she was his world.

Reluctantly the boys filled her in on Alex’s life occasionally. He now had a stable girlfriend of over a few months named Amelia. She was a pretty girl but Alaska knew that they wouldn’t last long. Alaska had noted that Alex didn’t have relationships that lasted longer than a year anymore and she was gratified with smug satisfaction. Alaska was surprised that she didn’t feel bitter towards Alex any longer. She was just upset and having to see their son grow up made it a little harder but it was bearable.

“Ma, do you know when Uncle Jack is going to visit?” Alaska laughed wholeheartedly at the six-year-old’s eagerness.

She nodded, “He is going to. But he’s supposed to call soon to let me know when.” Noah smiled brightly and jumped to sit in his mother’s lap.

“God, what am I feeding you?” She groaned as she shifted him in her lap to fit properly. Noah raised an eyebrow, “You don’t know what you’re putting in my food?” He inquired horrified and then laughed

Even though Noah was six he spoke like a twelve year old and she couldn’t help but notice that he held Alex’s humor. She was glad. “Can you call Uncle Jack right now?” Noah questioned pouting with his large emerald eyes.

“Sure thing.” She reached over on the other side of the couch and gripped both the remote and the cordless telephone. She used the remote to press play on the television and then began to dial Jack’s phone. It began to ring a couple of times until Jack answered slightly out of breathe.

“Hey Jack! What’s up?” Alaska asked, “I’m so sorry. It totally slipped my mind that I was supposed to call you today I kind of got caught up in something–“He began to babble until Alaska cut him off.

“Calm down!” She laughed, “You’re such a drama queen.” She could hear his low chuckle.

“You know you love me” He teased playfully.

“You know it” She responded dead panned. “Anyways. Noah wanted to know if you’re visiting anytime soon. He misses you.” And it was true. Noah looked up to Jack. Probably because Jack still acted like a six year old as well but Jack was like a father figure to Noah. He came to every birthday and sent cards for every holiday. He even sent a check every month even though Alaska protested.

“Yeah of course. I’m going to visit you next week. Is Noah looking forward to see his Uncle?”Jack inquired. Jack loved Noah immensely. You could tell by the proud tint to his voice as if it was a father talking about his son. The funny thing was when Noah was growing up he would sometimes refer to Jack as ‘Daddy’ and he still does. Alaska knew Jack adored being called ‘Daddy’ by her son but he always looked torn between Noah and his best friend. Alaska knew that if Alex ever found out the life she spent so hard building would be torn apart.

Alaska looked down at her son who was strangely quiet watching his mother interact with his favorite person and she smiled slightly. “You know he is. Noah loves you. But I’ve got to make this kid some breakfast so I’ll see you on Monday” She was sad that she had cut the conversation short but she had to considering her child’s stomach was rumbling loudly. Noah giggled. Jack laughed hearing Noah’s stomach rumbling.

“Well I’m going to let you go. Bye.” He paused waiting for her to respond.

“Bye! Love you, Jack.” She could hear the grin in his voice as he replied, “Love you too, Alaska.” Alaska and Jack did love each other but it was platonic love. They were practically brother and sister. He would always be Alaska’s best friend whether Alex liked it or not.

Just as Alaska was about to press the end button she heard shouting and Jack’s phone hit the ground.

“Alaska?” A voice croaked in the distance. It wasn’t talking into the phone. The voice seemed to be talking to Jack. Alaska’s eyes widened and her pulse began to beat rapidly. She knew that voice. It was the voice that used to whisper sweet nothings in her hear. It was the voice that helped her create her son. It was Alex Gaskarth’s voice. She immediately gripped the phone tighter and held it close to her ear in order to hear the conversation. It looked like Jack forgot to end the call and she wasn’t about to correct him.

“How much did you hear?” Jack asked softly, cautiously.

“Enough to know that you’re sleeping with my ex-girlfriend!” Alex shouted enraged. His voice seemed to echo from wherever they were and Alaska flinched. She quietly scooted Noah from her lap and told him in a hush whisper to go play with his toys. He seemed confused but obeyed nonetheless.

“Alex you’re overreacting. I’m not sleeping with Alaska.” Jack’s voice was calm but Alaska heard it waver slightly.

“You just told her you loved her, Jack! It’s guy code, dude. You’re not supposed to fuck ex’s.” It seemed like that was all that was needed in order for Jack to fight back.

“Calm down! I’m not sleeping with her! Just because you left her doesn’t mean the rest of us did!” That seemed to quiet Alex down and she wished she could see his face.

“What do you mean the rest of us?” He asked lowly, in a dangerous voice. Jack was hesitant to answer. “Rian, Vinny, Matt and Zack still talk to her too. We love her, dude. She’s family to us whether you like it or not.” She could just imagine Alex shaking his head back and forth.

“I can’t believe you.” She heard retreating footsteps and a door slam five seconds after-wards. The only sound coming from the phone was her own raspy breathing. All of a sudden a gust of wind was heard through the phone signaling someone had picked it up.

“I’m going to call you back later.” Jack spoke monotonously.

"Wait no Jack!--"and then he ended the call leaving Alaska gaping like a fish out of water.