Baby Steps

“I can't do this.” Alex stated deadpanned as he numbly stared at the wooden door in front of him. It was a rather large bright red brick house with a white painted wrap around fence that seemed to be only days old. He began to play with a stray piece of hair that curled around his left ear with his pointer finger in hopes that it would ease his anxiety. When he was on the plan with Amelia coming to see Alaska and their son, in her home seemed surreal. It felt as if he was another plane flight to another part of the United States for his job but it all came crashing down as soon as he saw the fisher price slide in Alaska's front yard. It was big enough for the ages of 4-11 to play on and it nearly made Alex nauseous enough to throw up in one of Alaska's well kept pea green plant pots.

Amelia stood behind Alex in case he made a run for it which she didn't doubt for a second. Clearly Alex was known for running away from his problems but he had to face his fears. Amelia knew that Alex couldn't live his life knowing that somewhere out in the world he had an offspring that he helped produced and he didn't know anything about his child other than his name and his age. She knew that if she didn't convince him he would regret it for the rest of his life but his manly pride was wounded which caused a spike of stubbornness to surface much to Amelia's vexation.

“I always thought Jack had been hit dropped as a baby when he told us he wanted to be able to teleport so he could get out of awkward conversations like those Twix commercials you see on TV. I now understand him.” Amelia stepped forward two steps and smacked Alex upside the head causing his hair to tumble and Alex to flinch.

“Since when did you become so feisty?” Alex noted rubbing the back of his head frowning at the blue eyed doe in front of him. Amelia had never once showed signs of being violent or aggressive before but for some reason he wasn't entirely surprised at the revelation.

Amelia crinkled her pale nose, “Sorry. I never thought about how much you actually don't know how I act. I play the whole innocent scene for show.” Alex felt a pang of guilt like a bolt of lightning at the fact that Amelia had given up so much for his success. He never realized how quite unhappy she was. She was a better actor than she let on.

“This wasn't working for either of us was it?” Alex inquired meekly glancing at her through his peripheral vision while she took a seat on one of the comfortable patio chairs that overlooked the long acre of land. Luckily the porch didn't creak so it wouldn't give away that they were present although it would be hard to explain if someone happened to look out through the window and see two strangers conversing on their property.

“What do you mean?” Amelia responded confused as she gently tore off a petal from one of the hanging flowers above them. The petal was soft like silk and slid smoothly through her fingers nervously. She was playing dumb and they both knew it but it was time.

“I mean us being together.” He informed her reaching to grip her hand, “We were never really meant to be a couple. Friends, yes. You're a cool girl and I wish I could give you what you want but I can't. Not when I don't even know what I want with my life anymore. I'm too complicated and you need something simple.” Amelia gave his hand a gentle squeeze and sighed in relief. Ever since they had moved in together day by day things had progressed miserably to the point where Amelia succumbed to cheating. It wasn't what she was proud of but she knew that Alex didn't care. He was too distracted in his own unresolved grief.

“I could have broken up with you a long time ago you know,” He did know. “But I stayed because you were so sad. I kind of have a confession to make.” Alex stayed quiet silently encouraging her to continue on with her revelation.

“I actually don't hate Jack. I like him. I like him, a lot.” Alex let out a bark of humorous laughter and smiled cheekily at Amelia. He had thought that her confession would be something horrific. He didn't know if he could handle anymore changes that could mess with both his mental and emotional health.

“You know what? I can actually see that.” Alex had never realized it before but Amelia and Jack were perfect for each other. Jack was a twenty-three year old man with a five-year old boy's mind and Amelia would be there to straighten him out when he needed it. It always explained why Amelia paid Jack more attention than the other boys even though she claimed she disliked the lanky boy. They both sat in comfortable silence for a little while listening to the summer breeze and the rustling leaves.

“We're done, aren't we?” Amelia questioned suddenly with no trace of sadness or remorse. They were both grinning at each other stupidly. There was nothing binding them anymore. They could be free to be with whoever they wanted. At that moment both Amelia and Alex realized that the media would have to deal with their split because they simply weren't good for each other. Alex nodded.

Amelia stood up lifting Alex up with her, “I think it's time you knock on the door, don't you think?” Motioning with her free hand towards the door to the house that could change Alex's life for the best or for the worst. He was about to meet his son and face the woman who he left.

Alex inhaled loudly, “Okay but just one more question.”

“Shoot.”

“How did you find out where Alaska lived?” Alex inquired letting his hand slip out of Amelia's when she smiled mischievously up at him. Usually when woman looked at Alex like that he was hit with a rush of lust but there was nothing there. Nothing but admiration for Amelia. When it came down to it she was there for him.

“It's funny what fame and a couple hundred bucks can do these days.” Alex gaped laughing breathlessly, “You bribed someone to give you information? Who are you and what did you do with my innocent ex-girlfriend?”

This time it was her time to laugh, “I was kidding, you idiot. It's called an operator. That person on the phone that gives you information when you call the number 0.”

“Makes sense.” Alex commented letting himself joke around briefly before turning serious once again. He began to walk towards the door. He lifted his hand which had balled up into a fist and braced himself for what was about to happen. Alex looked at Amelia and she smiled at him encouragingly. His fist lightly pounded on the door twice. He could hear it echo throughout the house.

He looked down at his calloused hands and noticed that they were shaking uncontrollably. He hear muffled voices through the door and running footsteps indicating that a group of people were running down the stairs. The door swung open to reveal Jack, Zack and Rian. Alex's mouth flopped open like a fish as they barely glanced at him while they rushed to put on their shoes. They looked ridiculous stumbling around the hallway barking out things like 'Get on my foot!' and 'You've never let me down before'.

“Guys?” Alex asked skeptically, he nearly rubbed his eyes at the scene in front him. Just then all three boys heads snapped up to Alex's in pure shock. A shoe slipped out of Jack's hand and fell on Rian's foot. Rian swore and menacingly glared at Jack while he held up his hands in surrender. He mouthed a quick 'Sorry' and then turned his attention back to Alex.

Alex was stunned to find that Jack didn't look at him with any rage or anger. In fact his face was contorted in what looked like physical pain. It was clear that he was insanely worried about something and for some reason it made Alex's stomach clench.

“What's going on?”

“What are you doing here?”

Jack and Alex spoke simultaneously and then nervously chuckled at one another. Rian and Zack seemed uncomfortable but the concerned expressions on their faces never ceased to erase.

“Look, I'm sorry for punching you in the face and everything I said even though it was all true but right now we have other things to worry about.” Jack had always been rather blunt and Alex was thankful for that. Alex knew that Jack still was irritated with Alex and they had a lot to talk about but seeing his friends faces was enough to create a body shudder.

“What's happening? Where's Alaska?” It was Amelia to speak. The guys then whirled around to face her. They held questioning eyes but didn't press the matter any further. It was clear they were in a hurry and it was important because Rian kept glancing at the watch on his wrist and Zack who was rarely ever distressed was repeatedly tapping the small table next to him in the hallway.

Zack took a deep breath, “Alex, Noah's in the hospital.”