Baby Steps

“I'm looking for uh, Alaska Greenfield, p-p-please.” Alex stuttered wiping his clammy palms on his navy blue skin-tight jeans. The blood in Alex's veins was pumping furiously as the adrenaline kicked into high gear. He hadn't felt this way since he finally realized that Alaska was never going to come back to him. He hated this feeling. This feeling of absolute despair. He hadn't even had a chance to meet his son and already he feared for his life.

It was true what they said. You are never physically or mentally ready to be a parent, mother or father, until you either see the child for the first time or when it's endangered and fighting for it's life. Alex had never been an optimistic person which basically meant that all that was entering one ear and out the other was wholly negative thoughts.

Alex didn't have enough time to recover from the fight he had with his band mates when they had dropped the bomb on him that his son had been hurt. He was partially glad that Jack was no longer mad at him. He needed Jack to be there for him right now and he was with his hand squeezing Alex's shoulder reassuringly as he inquired about his ex-girlfriend to the nurse on duty.

The female nurse scrunched up her nose in distaste as she sized up the boys in front of them. Alex had to admit they probably appeared wild and untamed with their hair disheveled, their cheeks flushed, panting breath and wrinkled clothes as they fought their way into the hospital pushing innocent citizens aside. On second thought he wouldn't be surprised if she believed they were supposed to be the ones admitted into the facility.

“I'm sorry but the whereabouts of Ms. Greenfield is classified information that can only be given to you unless you have a blood relation with her.” For the umpteenth time in three days Alex's eyes pierced into thin slits which could only mean that he was enraged with what the nurse had voiced. At that point he didn't care if it was standard procedure for the nurse to ask relation to Alaska because all he cared about was making sure that his family was safe.

“Alaska is my girlfriend and the little boy in there is my son.” Alex seethed sneering at the blond woman in front of him as her dull brown bagging eyes widened in realization. Enough though the patient waiting room was filled with tension Amelia and the rest of the boys tried to smother their bubbling laughter down as they watched her face warp into horror first, then humiliation and finally pain. Alex narrowly eyed the maroon colored badge on her nurse's outfit and squinted his eyes in order to read the name.

“Look here Kathy,” He stressed her first name. “You're going to tell me what room number my son is being held in or I'm going to have to speak to your manager.” It was an empty promise but clearly Kathy didn't know that.

“Sorry.” She apologized quickly looking at her shuffling feet. “It's room 215” She rushed out. Alex didn't even thank her as he spun on his heel and began looking forward a flight of stairs when the nurse ran up to catch him yelling 'Sir' because she had yet to receive his name.

“What do you want?” Alex questioned sharply; he didn't have time to be gallivanting in the hallways mindlessly.

Kathy flinched visibly, “I just wanted to tell you that your son looks exactly like you.” She replied softly before whirling around walking back to the front desk to tend to other incoming patients who needed their questions answered.

Alex faced palmed and whined, “Now I feel like an ass.” When silence greeted him he glared at his friends who rolled their eyes. “Well you are.” Zack muttered under his breath. Alex choice to ignore it and continued on his search for room 215.

After running up two flights of stairs and down five various corridors they finally reached the door with the numbers '215' etched in black upon it. Alex didn't hesiste to throw open the closed door to reveal Alaska hugging Noah tightly; he was placed in her lap. Alaska hadn't noticed Alex's arrival due to the fact that she was too absorbed in what the doctor was saying but apparently Noah couldn't of cared less.

The air left Alex's lungs as he took in Noah for the first time. Kathy was right. Noah did look exactly like him. He had the same shade of ruffly coffee-colored hair, he was lean for his age, and he had the same shaped face as Alex. The only thing Alex could identify that belonged to Alaska was his vivid green eyes. They were a more of a darker color than Alaska's but he was already in love with them.

Noah caught his eye and titled his head to the side analyzing Alex closely. Usually when someone observed Alex he paid no attention but Noah's gaze made him squirm. He cared about what his son would think of his father. Noah had every right to be angry at Alex but those thoughts flew out the window as Noah gave him a satisfying smile as if silently saying that he approved. Alex grinned back so wide his face ached.

Zack, Jack, Rian and Amelia peered into the room to make sure Noah was alright careful not to be seen. Alex barely noticed as they then slowly sunk back into the hallway once again in order to give Alex some privacy. He noticed the sighs of relief from the guys and made a mental note in thanking them for being more of a man than he could have ever been.

Alex quickly checked to make sure that nothing seemed to be injured on Noah. When he noticed that there was no bruises, bumps or any casts he let himself relax. Noah's gaze never wavered from Alex's and he didn't mind. He stared at his little boy like he was savoring him. He was wearing race car pajamas which meant that his accident had happened in the early afternoon.

He let himself wonder momentarily if Noah acted anything like he did. He hoped not. He hoped that his son would learn from his mistakes. If Alaska ever let himself into Noah's life he intended on making sure that Noah understood that you treated women with respect. No son of his would be known for breaking the hearts of females all of the world.

Noah broke eye contact with Alex briefly in order to tug on the string of her lime green Aereopostale sweater. Just like that his heart began to race once again. He was absolutely speechless. Seeing Noah had been a hit to the gut he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have Alaska see him much less talk to him for the first time in six years.

Alaska peered down at Noah and inquired about what he wanted in a soft voice. Alex couldn't hear exactly what she was saying but just seeing her was enough to make him break out in a sweat. Noah whispered back something into Alaska's ear. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she looked up to see Alex standing sheepishly in the middle of the doorway blocking any exit. He sucked up any needed air before waving to her with a meek smile on his face.

Alex had never seen someone's eyes grow as wide as Alaska's. Her mouth had dropped open and he couldn't help but think to himself that it was probably the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. Alaska closed her mouth and then re-opened it trying to form a coherent sentence. The doctor then comprehended that no one was listening to his ramblings.

He fixed the glasses to fit on the bridge of his nose as he regarded Alex thoughtfully, “I'm sorry to sound impolite but who exactly are you?”

Alex cleared his rusty throat, “I'm Alex. Alex Gaskarth.” He cringed upon hearing how hoarse his voice sounded and prayed that no one else noticed.

“I'm Noah's father.” Alex gestured towards the small boy this time his tone was more stable.

“Ma, what's he talking about?” Noah murmured quietly to his mother to which she hastily replied to.

“He's kidding, sweetheart.” Alex couldn't have expected anything else. This was reality and not a fairytale in which Alaska would've happily jumped into Alex's arms and Noah would coo in content that he finally had a complete family. His fantasy was like lightening striking twice in one place; simply impossible to occur.

He had an unspoken agreement with Alaska as she nudged her head towards the door signaling that she would like to have a chat with him. She looked distressed and overly tired. No doubt it was half over worrying about Noah and half about the fact that Alex was there in the flesh. The chat would have to wait because Alex needed answers that only the doctor could answer.

“Why is Noah here?” He was looking at Alaska but speaking indirectly to Doctor Hanson. She nodded at the doctor when he looked at her questioningly asking permission to reveal what had happened.

“Nothing serious. He had fallen while sliding on his socks and hit his head a little too hard. We were just making sure that it hadn't caused any internal damage that we couldn't detect from the outside.” Noah looked embarrassed as his story was told.

“Sorry, Ma.” She gave him a half smile and shook her head back and forth.

“I told you before not to do it.” She scolded in a motherly tone. “Have you learned your lesson?”

He simply nodded and just like that the attention was back on Alex.

“Could I have a talk with you?” Alaska questioned smiling sickly sweet at Alex while she gave him the evil eye. The doctor seemed to sense the stretching stiffness and bent down to be eye level with Noah.

“Why don't you come with me to get a lollipop?” He asked nicely. Noah automatically nodded his head mutely and took a hold of his hand. He jumped out of his mothers lap and kissed her on the cheek quickly before following Mr. Hanson out of the patient room.

An awkward silence filled the room as Alaska and Alex simply stared at each other. Taking in the changes that had happened in the past years. They were finally alone. Alex had thought of thousands of different ways on the plane ride to Baltimore to start a conversation with Alaska but the cat caught his tongue. Apparently Alaska wasn't content with the silence when she opened her mouth to speak first.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Alex, what are you doing here?”