Who I Really Am

Sitting in Matt's lounge on Saturday afternoon, Brian found himself drifting away from the conversation as thoughts of the evening ahead began to occupy his mind. He'd called Izzy on Thursday as he'd promised and they'd made a date for tonight. Brian had decided dinner at a small Italian restaurant, Trattoria Ciao, in Santa Ana was perfect. It wouldn't be too crowded where he might have the misfortune of being recognised, and also intimate enough to allow him the oppurtunity to get to know Izzy a little better.

Brian was very aware that at some point the question regarding what he did for a living would no doubt rear it's head, and he'd decided that straying too far from the truth would be a mistake. So he'd figured out an answer should Izzy ask, hoping that it would be enough to satisfy any curiosity she may have.

"Gates! So are you in on this idea?" 

"Huh?" his head snapped round in Jimmy's direction, wondering just what his friend was refering to.

"I asked if you were in on the idea of going out tonight, get Matthew here good and drunk, take his mind off things," Jimmy stated, eyeing Brian with curiosity as to why he was obviously pre-occupied with other thoughts.

"Oh, er...I can't, got other stuff going on," Brian answered cryptically. 

Jimmy folded his arms across his chest as he sat back in the chair he was in, studying Brian with slight intensity.

"What other stuff could be more important than helping your friend get so mind-blowingly drunk that he forgets his own name?" he questioned. 

A snickering that was coming from the direction of Zacky alerted the others to believe that he knew exactly what Brian had planned for that night. Brian shot him a look, but he knew it was fruitless. 

"Out with it Zachary," Jimmy demanded.

"Haner's got a date," Zack announced, grinning like a fool.

Brian squirmed as he felt the attention of everyone in the room on him. This was exactly what he'd hoped to avoid by not mentioning anything to anyone. He wouldn't have even told Zack, but he had Gavin to thank for divulging the information.

"Date as in actually taking a woman out and showing her that you can be a gentleman if you really put your mind to it, or date as in get yourself invited to hers, ply her with a little alcohol then nail her?" Matt asked.

"Great terminology Matt," Brian mumbled "It's a proper date ok, pick her up, take her to dinner, escort her home and thank her for a lovely evening...and no, I won't be nailing her as you so eloquently put it." 

"Who the fuck did you persuade into that?" Johnny piped up.

"The one and only crazy snake lady!"

Brian scowled at Zack.

"Would you quit fucking calling her that, she has a goddamn name," he groaned. 

"Hang on a minute, the drunk chick from Johnny's last weekend? How the fuck did you run into her again?" Matt asked, confusion clouding his face. 

Brian briefly and begrudgingly ran through the tale of Wednesday afternoon, remember to omit the details of how he'd been to the museum two days before that to see her. The last thing he needed was any of them getting a kick out of knowing that he'd actually taken to chasing a woman, when as a rule he normally snapped his fingers and a long line of females fell at his feet. 

"So when did you intend on letting us know that you had plans for romancing the reptile loving red-headed beauty who's rather cute and pert ass you oh so gracioualy saved?" Jimmy enquired.

"It's one date, it's hardly romancing," Brian muttered.

"For now, but after an evening in the company of those pretty brown eyes of yours and the infamous Haner charm, I'm willing to bet she'll be practically chomping at the bit to see you again and lay claim to the one and only Synyster Gates," Matt pointed out. 

Brian sighed heavily. There was no way on Earth they were going to let this drop and head off on a different subject now. He hadn't been on a date since Michelle, so knowing that he was actually taking that step would only alert his friends to the fact that he might finally be interested in someone for something other than a quick lay. 

"That's just it, I don't think Izzy actually knows who I am," Brian admitted.

"Oh fuck off!" Johnny cried. "Every female with half a pulse and the ability to string two words together knows who you are!"

"Are you sure about the stringing two words together?" Matt threw at him. "Cos let's face it, there have been some highly questionable ones the last few months." 

As much as Brian knew he should be offended by that statement, he had to admit that Matt made a valid point. Picking up women when drunk was all well and good, but in the cold light of day the following morning, Brian always found himself alarmed by the talent he'd developed for choosing those who found remembering to breathe a little taxing. Brian glanced over at Jimmy, who was giving him a look that told him he understood why he found the possibility of Izzy not knowing who he was appealling. At least someone knew where he was coming from. 

" So where are you taking her Gates?" Johnny asked.

Brian chuckled.

"What? You think I'm going to tell you just so you bunch of assholes turn up and ruin my evening? Nice try, but it ain't happening!"

He jumped up from the couch, pulling his keys from his pocket.

"And that is my cue to leave, I need to get out of here because you guys are like a bunch of high school chicks wanting to know all the juicy details."

"That's ok, we'll just harass you tomorrow for the low down," Zack informed him.

Brian rolled his eyes. Joy, that was just what he needed. He gave them all a brief wave as he headed for the door.

"Remember to wear clean boxers, and if she tries to slip you the tongue on the first date...tell her you're not that kind of guy!" Jimmy called after him.

Brian just slammed the door shut, wondering why he was friends with these people at times.

*************

Trying to remain still whilst Amber teased her hair with the curling irons was proving to be a little on the difficult side for Izzy. She had woken up that morning feeling fairly confident and somewhat excited about the evening ahead. However, as the day had worn on, Izzy had begun to experience a few nerves. The dating experience wasn't completely alien to her. Throughout her college years she had been out on numerous dates, but apart from the two brief relationships she'd had during that time, she'd always turned down the oppurtunity to let anyone take her out a second time. It enabled her to not become too attached to someone.

However, Izzy found herself wondering that if tonight went well and Brian asked to see her again, whether she'd be so quick to turn him down. Of course, the conversation she'd had with her mother earlier that week, and of course Amber's words from the week before had been running through her mind.And knowing that they were both right made Izzy realise that she would have to leave herself open to the possibility that she may have actually met someone who wasn't going to be so easy to turn down.

"There you go," Amber stated, placing the irons gentley on a mat on the dresser. "Although how I never burned you or ripped bits out with all that fidgeting going on is beyond me."

Izzy gave a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, just feeling a little nervous," she admitted.

Amber rested her hands on Izzy's shoulders, bending a little so she could face her in the mirror.

"Iz, you really have nothing to worry about. You've seen that man petrified to the core by a snake, and he's seen you so drunk off your ass you couldn't have picked yourself out of a line up...and yet, inspite of all that, he's been trying to track you down to ask you out. It's going to be fine. Now, stand up and let me look at you, he'll be here in a minute."

Izzy stood and turned, so that Amber could give her look the once over.

"I do believe Mr.Haner's going to have trouble keeping his eyes off you...you look fantastic sweetie. Although just as well your mom's not here, she'd be making sure you left here with more than the necessary amount of flesh showing!"

Izzy grimaced, yet managed a laugh at the thought of Grace readjusting her top so Brian got more than just an eyeful. A loud clear knock on the front door told Izzy this was it, not trying to get out of it now. Amber hugged her quickly.

"Now, you go have the most amount fun tonight hun, because god knows you deserve it. Oh, and if he tries to do more than just hold your hand, make it perfectly clear that you're saving yourself...well, at least for a few more weeks," she added with a wink. 

Izzy rolled her eyes, before flashing a nervous, yet excited smile as she left her bedroom to answer the door. Taking a deep breath Izzy opened the door, her breath catching a little at the sight of Brian standing there. Izzy found herself wondering if infact he was actually the most handsome man she had ever laid her eyes on. Deciding that he was, she smiled softly as he gave her an appreciative look.

"Hey, you ready?" Brian asked with a smilec.

"Sure," Izzy replied closing the front door as she stepped outside.

"I've booked us a table at Tratorria, so seeings as it's not far, I thought we could walk," Brian suggested "That's if you don't mind," he added.

"Of course not, sounds perfect," Izzy assured him.

Brian stopped and looked at her, shaking his head as he chuckled.

"God, can tell this is a first date...all polite and shit" he observed. 

"Sorry, I just..." Brian held up a hand

"No no, believe me...I mean both of us. It's just been a while since I did this," he admitted.

"If you makes you feel any better....me too," Izzy told him with a grin.

"Oh thank fuck! You don't know what a relief it is to know it's not just me. All day I've been going over in my head what I'd say when I first saw you, how I'd react...and that..." he pointed back towards the house "...was not how it was meant to be at all!"

"So..how was it supposed to go?" Izzy asked, her nerves disappearing as she felt herself beginning to relax as they started to walk slowly away from the house.

"Well, I should've remembered to tell you just how beautiful you look tonight...which I know sounds so fucking lame....but you really do. And then, I was going to do this..."

Brian took Izzy's hand in his, lacing his fingers through hers.

"And then I was going to be as relieved as I am right now that you didn't think I was pushing my luck," he told her, winking as he squeezed her hand a little.

Izzy glanced down at their linked hands, and knew it looked right. She'd never felt that with anyone so quickly before. Why Brian was different, she had no idea. All she did know was that she liked it. 

Sitting across the table from Brian, Izzy wiped her eyes as she laughed at the story he was telling her. Laugh was something she'd done a great deal of over dinner. Brian had a huge back catalogue of hilarious stories all involving himself or his close group of friends, who all sounded wonderful to Izzy. 

"And he lets you rip it off everytime it gets bad again?" Izzy questioned as she sipped her coffee.

"Yeah...although haven't eaten it again since, there's only so much festering toenail a guy can stomach," Brian admitted, scrunching his nose a little, a habit that Izzy found she was finding more endearing the more she observed him doing it. 

One thing Izzy had noticed was that Brian never once mentioned his career. It was almost as if he was avoiding it, hiding it from her almost. 

"You all sound like the bloody craziest bunch of friends around," Izzy told him. 

"Just a little, but I couldn't ask for better friends, we've all been through a lot of shit together, right from when we were at school, and I can't imagine life without them. You'll really love them once you've gotten to know them."

Izzy couldn't contain the look of surprise she wore. He already saw her meeting his friends? Brian smirked at her.

"What? Has tonight been that painful that you can't see it happening again?" he asked.

"You just took me by surprise that's all," Izzy admitted. "And besides, tonight's not over yet," she teased, not entirely sure where this new found confidence had sprung from.

"Tell me Brian, what is it you do again...I can't remember what you said."

Brian placed his cup back on the table and cleared his throat.

"I didn't say, but I'm a session musician...guitar....mainly studio work for bands and stuff." 

Izzy nodded, figuring there had to be a plausible explaination as to why he hadn't been entirely truthful. However, given the side of her that she kept from everyone, she felt she was in no position to judge.

"Sounds interesting."

"It pays the mortgage," Brian stated, obviously wanting to get off the subject as soon as possible. 

Finishing their coffee with more tales from Brian's collection, he settled the bill. They stepped outside into the night air, Brian once again taking Izzy's hand in his. There was a slight lull in the conversation as Brian appeared to be mulling something over.

"Got anything special planned for tomorrow?" he asked softly, breaking the silence between them.

"Hmmm, let me see," Izzy began "Sunday's in our house normally consist of getting up as late as possible and doing very little, most of the time still in our pj's."

"Sounds fucking ideal," Brian chuckled "Well, do you think Amber would mind if I interupted your routine tomorrow at all?" 

"Guess it all depends what you had in mind," Izzy told him.

"Well, each Sunday we all get together for a few beers, get the grill going...we take it in turns. It's Zack and Gena's turn tomorrow, but because they have literally just moved into a new place, they've decided to have it at the beach instead, and I'd really like you to come with me," he told her, hope heavy in his voice. 

It was at this point in the past, when the inevitable 'can I see you again?' scenario arose that Izzy would be making her excuses and gently letting whoever had asked her down. Yet the need to do so tonight didn't even enter her mind.

"I'd really like that," Izzy responded, not missing the grin that spread across Brian's face as they reached the home she and Amber shared.

"Ok then, how about if I pick you up around 1.30...that give you enough time to get your lazy ass outta bed?" Brian joked.

"Just about...I might make the effort to actually set an alarm..you should feel priviledged."

"Oh so honoured!" Brian chuckled. 

"Thank you for tonight, it was wonderful," Izzy told him sincerely.

"Guess we should be thank Gavin for letting me know you were there the other day huh?" Brian murmured. 

He tentatively leaned into her, cupping her face in his hands as he brushed his lips lightly over hers. A small sigh escaped Izzy as all too soon the brief contact was over.

"I'll call you before I leave, make sure you're ready," he whispered.

Izzy could do no more than nod, turning to walk up the driveway. Brian waited until she reached the door, giving a small wave before getting in his car, completely unaware that he'd managed the one thing Izzy had always imagined impossible. He'd broken her resolve, and she really didn't mind one bit.