Tell Me I'm a Wreck
keep quiet, nothing comes as easy as you.
Zack is barely awake – like, literally barely, stumbling down the stairs in his pajama pants and nothing else – when the doorbell rings. When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, a coughing fit nearly splits him in half. So he staggers to the door, flings it wide open, and stares vacantly at the welcome mat. “Hi,” he rasps, feeling self-conscious and cold against the snow blowing into his parents’ front foyer. It doesn’t help that the blast of cold air makes his nipples harden almost instantly; he crosses his arms over his chest and hopes Alex doesn’t notice.
“Missed you today,” Alex says softly, shutting the door behind him and kicking his shoes off, shaking the snow out of his jacket and hanging it up. “You should be in bed.”
Zack sniffles miserably. He feels like shit. “I know.” So he clears his throat, makes eye contact with the ugly Berber carpet. “What are you doin’ here?” he asks shyly. It’s not a secret in their group of friends that he has the hugest crush on Alex, but somehow that information has been kept from Alex himself, which is a good thing. “I’m – hey – y-y-you’re going to get sick, you know,” he mumbles when Alex envelops him in a hug.
And Alex tugs at his hand, leads him up the stairs and tucks him neatly into bed, but it’s not processing. “I’m taking care of you,” Alex mumbles. “You’re all fevery...” So he dashes off and returns with a thermometer – Zack didn’t know that he even owned one – and looks at Zack expectantly. “Come on, I’m taking your temperature.”
Zack shakes his head ‘no’. “I just want to sleep.”
“Well, you can go to sleep after I take your temperature and we get some Tylenol into you.” He hates it when Alex is assertive like this – one, because it’s fucking hot as hell, and two, because he has no capacity to resist. Alex is touching his cheek, looking at him with huge brown eyes, and... “Come on, Zack, I want you to get better. Plus Rian told me that you suck at being sick and don’t take your medicine.”
“Fuck Rian, I hate that bastard.” But as soon as the words leave his mouth, Alex lunges at him and he finds himself with a thermometer jammed under his tongue. “Mmmf,” he tries to protest; Alex smiles and strokes his unshaven cheek fondly. “Mmmf, I hate you,” he mutters darkly when finally, he is allowed to spit the damn thing out. “This sucks.”
“You’re halfway done,” Alex chuckles. “Now get these into you.” He presses two Tylenol into Zack’s hand and waits. Zack swallows them grudgingly, not understanding why Alex is here or what he wants. He glares – as best as Zack can manage to glare at Alex – and crosses his arms again, hating the chalky aftertaste the pills leave in his mouth.
“C’n I go to sleep now?” he asks hopefully. Alex shakes his head.
“One more thing first.” And he realizes that Alex is still holding his face, which is weird, and he’s shifting uncomfortably, trying to move away. “Gotta make sure you actually swallowed those pills...” So then Alex’s lips are on his, warm and soft, and... Wait. Is this actually happening? He’s embarrassed at how easily pliable he is; his legs are wrapped around Alex’s waist and his back is pressed into the mattress. Alex nips his lower lip gently, eliciting a very, very embarrassing sound from Zack. Why is Alex kissing him to begin with? Zack is suspicious of his motives, suddenly.
He pulls away. “What are you doing?” It comes out breathier than he would have liked; easier, more pathetic. Except that Alex is sucking on that really sensitive spot behind his ear, so it’s hard to maintain a coherent train of thought. “Alex, fuuuuuuck.” He sort of writhes awkwardly, half-convinced it’s a dream, but he can’t get out from under Alex. “Fuck, that is not a thought I ever thought I would have to have.”
Alex laughs. “And what thought is that?”
Zack blushes, trying to push him away. “Uh... ‘Jesus Christ, Alex is sucking on my neck, how do I make him stop?’ Uh... fuck.” Which does nothing to discourage Alex’s current behaviour – namely, doing exactly that. He makes a strangled little noise in the back of his throat because, fuck, it feels really good doing this. “Seriously, Alex. What the fuck is – are – are you doing?”
“Well, I had to kiss you to make sure you weren’t, like, hiding your Tylenol under your tongue.”
Zack raises one eyebrow quizzically. “And you gave me a hickey because...?”
“You, uh... were all there, and... under me... and, and fuck. Fuck Rian and Jack, they knew this was going to happen.” He pokes Zack’s nose. “I like you.”
“You’re totally going to get strep throat now.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “Guess you’ll have to take care of me then, eh?” Zack sighs, shakes his head. “Come on, I came over here and I brought you soup!” And, of course, he’s pouting, which Zack cannot resist under the best of circumstances. Right now, though, it makes him want to kiss some more... “Hey. You’re lookin’ at me.”
“Remind me never to tell Jack anything again.”
Alex kisses him. “Why?”
“Because. He... couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it. And now I’m going to have to take care of you when you inevitably get sick, because you’re stupid and can’t keep your hands off me. And... and... fuck you, getting all touchy-feely with me when I’m gross. ‘s not fair.”
“To be fair,” Alex murmurs, resting his forehead against Zack’s, “I totally blackmailed it out of him. You do realize that he’s, like, completely in love with Rian?”
“That’s... horrible. And disgusting. And... and completely adorable,” Zack yawns. “You do realize you just, like, broke the guy code by telling me that, right?”
Alex just grins. “Nah, I’m pretty sure that you’re exempt from the rules when you’re telling your boyfriend shit. Unless you don’t want to, which I would completely understand seeing as how you’re probably just delirious from being sick and that’s why you kissed me back, or something... But, uh, yeah. So... Uh. Boyfriend?” Zack doesn’t answer him right away – or maybe he does; it’s hard to tell what he’s supposed to be saying with his mouth pressed against Alex’s like that. So yeah, they’re boyfriends.
“Missed you today,” Alex says softly, shutting the door behind him and kicking his shoes off, shaking the snow out of his jacket and hanging it up. “You should be in bed.”
Zack sniffles miserably. He feels like shit. “I know.” So he clears his throat, makes eye contact with the ugly Berber carpet. “What are you doin’ here?” he asks shyly. It’s not a secret in their group of friends that he has the hugest crush on Alex, but somehow that information has been kept from Alex himself, which is a good thing. “I’m – hey – y-y-you’re going to get sick, you know,” he mumbles when Alex envelops him in a hug.
And Alex tugs at his hand, leads him up the stairs and tucks him neatly into bed, but it’s not processing. “I’m taking care of you,” Alex mumbles. “You’re all fevery...” So he dashes off and returns with a thermometer – Zack didn’t know that he even owned one – and looks at Zack expectantly. “Come on, I’m taking your temperature.”
Zack shakes his head ‘no’. “I just want to sleep.”
“Well, you can go to sleep after I take your temperature and we get some Tylenol into you.” He hates it when Alex is assertive like this – one, because it’s fucking hot as hell, and two, because he has no capacity to resist. Alex is touching his cheek, looking at him with huge brown eyes, and... “Come on, Zack, I want you to get better. Plus Rian told me that you suck at being sick and don’t take your medicine.”
“Fuck Rian, I hate that bastard.” But as soon as the words leave his mouth, Alex lunges at him and he finds himself with a thermometer jammed under his tongue. “Mmmf,” he tries to protest; Alex smiles and strokes his unshaven cheek fondly. “Mmmf, I hate you,” he mutters darkly when finally, he is allowed to spit the damn thing out. “This sucks.”
“You’re halfway done,” Alex chuckles. “Now get these into you.” He presses two Tylenol into Zack’s hand and waits. Zack swallows them grudgingly, not understanding why Alex is here or what he wants. He glares – as best as Zack can manage to glare at Alex – and crosses his arms again, hating the chalky aftertaste the pills leave in his mouth.
“C’n I go to sleep now?” he asks hopefully. Alex shakes his head.
“One more thing first.” And he realizes that Alex is still holding his face, which is weird, and he’s shifting uncomfortably, trying to move away. “Gotta make sure you actually swallowed those pills...” So then Alex’s lips are on his, warm and soft, and... Wait. Is this actually happening? He’s embarrassed at how easily pliable he is; his legs are wrapped around Alex’s waist and his back is pressed into the mattress. Alex nips his lower lip gently, eliciting a very, very embarrassing sound from Zack. Why is Alex kissing him to begin with? Zack is suspicious of his motives, suddenly.
He pulls away. “What are you doing?” It comes out breathier than he would have liked; easier, more pathetic. Except that Alex is sucking on that really sensitive spot behind his ear, so it’s hard to maintain a coherent train of thought. “Alex, fuuuuuuck.” He sort of writhes awkwardly, half-convinced it’s a dream, but he can’t get out from under Alex. “Fuck, that is not a thought I ever thought I would have to have.”
Alex laughs. “And what thought is that?”
Zack blushes, trying to push him away. “Uh... ‘Jesus Christ, Alex is sucking on my neck, how do I make him stop?’ Uh... fuck.” Which does nothing to discourage Alex’s current behaviour – namely, doing exactly that. He makes a strangled little noise in the back of his throat because, fuck, it feels really good doing this. “Seriously, Alex. What the fuck is – are – are you doing?”
“Well, I had to kiss you to make sure you weren’t, like, hiding your Tylenol under your tongue.”
Zack raises one eyebrow quizzically. “And you gave me a hickey because...?”
“You, uh... were all there, and... under me... and, and fuck. Fuck Rian and Jack, they knew this was going to happen.” He pokes Zack’s nose. “I like you.”
“You’re totally going to get strep throat now.”
Alex rolls his eyes. “Guess you’ll have to take care of me then, eh?” Zack sighs, shakes his head. “Come on, I came over here and I brought you soup!” And, of course, he’s pouting, which Zack cannot resist under the best of circumstances. Right now, though, it makes him want to kiss some more... “Hey. You’re lookin’ at me.”
“Remind me never to tell Jack anything again.”
Alex kisses him. “Why?”
“Because. He... couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it. And now I’m going to have to take care of you when you inevitably get sick, because you’re stupid and can’t keep your hands off me. And... and... fuck you, getting all touchy-feely with me when I’m gross. ‘s not fair.”
“To be fair,” Alex murmurs, resting his forehead against Zack’s, “I totally blackmailed it out of him. You do realize that he’s, like, completely in love with Rian?”
“That’s... horrible. And disgusting. And... and completely adorable,” Zack yawns. “You do realize you just, like, broke the guy code by telling me that, right?”
Alex just grins. “Nah, I’m pretty sure that you’re exempt from the rules when you’re telling your boyfriend shit. Unless you don’t want to, which I would completely understand seeing as how you’re probably just delirious from being sick and that’s why you kissed me back, or something... But, uh, yeah. So... Uh. Boyfriend?” Zack doesn’t answer him right away – or maybe he does; it’s hard to tell what he’s supposed to be saying with his mouth pressed against Alex’s like that. So yeah, they’re boyfriends.