Damned.

Solitude was going to be Sofia’s best friend here. She was frightened of getting near some people, because of what might happen in the process. Sophie was sitting outside an office waiting for Dr. Moore to attend to her. She didn’t belong in this place. She wasn’t that screwed up in the head. Sofia was well aware that she had a depression problem, and that cutting wasn’t a solution to her problems. She was still here, because of her grandparents. They thought she had a psychological problem that she had to work out.

“Sofia” Dr. Moore said, opening the door.

Sofia stood up and walked inside. This was the first time she would speak to a doctor, in person and not with a large group of people. She was nervous and she could feel her nerves shaking her. Sofia was afraid of talking to a stranger about her problems and her life in general.

“Are you nervous?” the doctor asked, in a cold clinical way.

Sofia sighed, “Well, wouldn’t you? Some strange person you don’t even know starts to interrogate you, and you have no idea what you’re going to tell them?”

Dr. Moore gave her a look and then took a seat, “Sit,”

Sofia sat in the cool chair. Everything about the room gave her chills, so cold and clinical this is why she didn’t like hospitals. They made her feel insecure and like she wasn’t perfect and the way doctors and nurses spoke to you, in a frigid tone with no sense of emotion gave her the creeps.

“Tell me, Sofia why are you here?”

“I was forced here just like everyone else,” she stated.

“You are here for your own good, to get better,”

“That’s not true; I am perfectly fine, mentally stable,”

Dr. Moore looked at his clipboard, re-reading all of Sofia’s papers, to see if she was a pathological liar, or if she’s ever had any psychological problems. All checked out right, but he wasn’t so sure. He watched her like a hawk. It was, as if he was waiting for her to get out of control, so he could put her down.

“How is your experience here?” he asked her.

Sofia shrugged, “Hasn’t been my favorite place to be, but I guess I shouldn’t expect much from these facilities, you’re locked up like a bird in a cage, with no way out, waiting to be fed, watered and even escorted to go to the bathroom, pretty much a jail”

He thought to himself, what an analogy. He was trying to get inside of her head, but nothing seemed to phase her. She just went with the flow she didn’t rebel like the previous ones.

“Why haven’t you tried to rebel like the others?” Dr. Moore asked, intrigued.

Sofia once more shrugged, “I know what the consequences will be if I do, I think it’s pointless to rebel with so much authority around, there’s no way I could get out, besides. This might let me out for good behavior”

Cunning, very cunning indeed, this girl was. Dr. Moore has noticed she wasn’t going to break easily; he was going to have to do something about this soon.

Sofia felt trapped. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could take, but that she should stand her ground and not show any fear. If she was okay, she might get out early for good behavior, but it seemed that anything was impossible at this point.

“Sofia, if you need to speak about something, now would be a good time,” he told her.

“There’s not much I can say, my life was pretty boring before I got here,”

He looked at her strangely, “If it was just boring you wouldn’t be here now would you?”

Sophie’s nerves were getting to her, but she refused to give in easily, “Well, with all due respect, sir. It’s just minor depression; I don’t know why they got so upset,”

“Cutting seems like minor depression to you does it?” he raised an eyebrow.

She shrugged, “It's crazy. Something like depression can be fixed easily with love you know? ”

Dr. Moore looked at her, “Maybe so, but there are still some things that cannot be fixed with love”
Of course he would say that, all doctors had to say that, sometimes Sofia wondered if they had any feelings at all.

“You just have to believe, which I doubt that you, with all due respect, doctor, do” Sofia responded.

Dr. Moore didn’t respond to this. He just became quiet and wrote things down. Sofia didn’t watch him. She stared out the window. It was cold, and it was rainy, like people would believe it to me around hospitals.

“Can I go now?” she asked, in a bored tone.

He looked at her, “Just a minute,”

“Okay” she responded, playing with the hem of her shirt.

Sofia wondered if her grandparents would come back for her, if she was destined to be here forever, then she thought, no. They wouldn’t do something like that to her. Her thoughts were erupted by a loud crash coming outside Dr. Moore’s office; there was shouting and arguing going on.

Dr. Moore got up from his seat and told Sofia to stay where she was. He walked out the door; Sofia sat silently watching the rain pour down harder.

“Why can’t this be an illusion?”

She turned to face the door and took a few step forwards, slightly opening the door; she saw needles and syringes on the floor, liquid spilled everywhere, paper and other material. Someone must have had another tantrum; she sighed and walked back in.