Not Coming Home

There was not much that Brian could do. The death of Jimmy hit him hard. Hard to the point where he couldn’t go through his day-to-day life without having a certain release. Though never a cheater, he found his release in women. Many, many women and alcohol had become his new best friend.

There wasn’t a day that went by that Brian didn’t find himself piss dead drunk in a bar, club, alley way or home. Trina was fed up with it, she understood what it meant to lose someone. She knew it was hard, but Brian was taking to an extreme. Trina had experienced death young. Her mother died when she was sixteen, but she didn’t wallow away her sorrows with alcohol. Brian had been drinking for nine months straight. When her mom died, she drank every couple of days the first month. It was a way to forget what it is that had happened to her.

Trina stood by Brian the entire time, till a month ago. She found out that Brian was sleeping around, with various girls a new one each night that he went out. She could deal with a lot of things, but she couldn’t deal with a cheater. She loved him, dearly to be honest. They had been together for the past three years, but she didn’t care how long they had been together. All she had known was that he had betrayed her in the worst way possible.

“Brian I can’t do this. I have stood by you and I know it’s hard for you, but… GOD!” She sat down putting her head in her hands, clutching tightly to her hair.

“You found out didn’t you?” He knew what was coming. He knew that the first time that he did it, she would never forgive him once she found out. So he continued, drowning all of his sorrows in alcohol and inside a new girl every time he went out.

“I might understand if you did it once in a drunken stupor. It’s no excuse but I would understand. But so many times, that’s just you lacking any respect for me.”

“I love you and respect you Trina, you know that.” She laughed getting up from the couch, grabbing her bag. Her luggage was already in her car.

“Obviously you don’t because if you did you wouldn’t fuck random bitches!” She was pissed and she refused to hide that fact anymore.

“Please don’t leave me. I can’t handle two loses.” Leaning against the wall tears slipped from Trina’s eyes.

“I don’t want to, but I have dignity for myself Brian. I hope that later in life our paths will cross again. But as of now, I don’t want anything to do with you.” Pushing herself off of the wall, she left the house. He knew this day was coming, he knew the first time that he cheated. She said she could forgive him if it was once, but it was all lies. Those words were just used to let down the shock of the actual amount that he had slept with.

Brian paced the room. His heart felt like it would rip from his chest, his vision got blurry and he began to feel light headed. This was all too much for him to handle. Grabbing the nearest vase to him he flung it against the wall across him. The vase broke, flowers went flying everywhere, water splattered on the walls and the marbles all fell down to the floor.

Brian was already drunk, he had started drinking since the morning and now his only goal was to get out to the nearest bar or club. He didn’t need anyone to come with him; all he needed was a shot to drown his sorrows. Grabbing his car keys, Brian slipped on his shoes and headed out the door.

Mother always said, never drink and drive.

At this moment, he could care less about that advice. Maybe it was the alcohol working in his body or the fact that his whole world crashed around him, his whole world died, but he didn’t care what happened to him anymore. He felt invincible, but if he died he didn’t care.

He was simple running away from his problems once again.

Heading towards his car, Brian stopped dead in his tracks. There were raven’s perched all over his car. Though it wasn’t unusual to see them, it was very rare to see them in this part of California. He had feared the, to him they were the pure symbol of death. They were the Grim Reaper.

He had shunned away from his family, his friends. Sure the album was made, but he had become a stranger to all of them. Instead of losing one best friend they had lost another one in spirit, in soul.

Ringing his keys back and forth, Brian had scared the Raven’s off of his car, but they had perched themselves on his house. He felt like he was watched, the birds were watching him, his every move. Paranoia made home in his veins.

Roaring out of his driveway, he zoomed away from his house as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to be near those birds or the place where he had shared so many memories with the one he loved. The road was doubled and he had trouble seeing the speed meter. This was bad and he knew it, but the place he was going to was only five minutes by car.

Lights had flooded the car, screeching of the tires was heard, followed by a horrible crash. Brian hadn’t realized that he was driving in the wrong lane and when the bend in the road came, he turned on the wrong side.

Sirens could be heard; the paramedics contacted the family. Brian was rushed to the hospital but doctors didn’t believe he would survive. The truck had done too much damage. The car that he was driving folded up like an accordion. Ribs were broken, he lost too much blood, and they had barely stopped his internal bleeding. This was a high chance that the bleed would start again; no one believed he would survive the night.

His mother ran in crying, eyes read and puffy. She had told him that all of his drinking would kill him, that it would ruin relationships but he didn’t listen. He never listened, he knew better or so he thought.

To Brian Trina never understood what he was going through. She told him that time heals all wounds, but it wasn’t true. It had been eight months and he was still suffering for the pain.

That night Zacky, Matt and Johnny lost a friend again. Though they had lost him to alcohol after Jimmy passed, they had lost him in body. They had started to learn how to cope with Jimmy’s death and now it was Brian. All of this was too much for them.

Trina had hoped that she would be able to eventually heal the scars that were opened that night with Brian later on, but all of that was crushed. She never expected him to do what he did. He always took a taxi when he was wasted; she wasn’t expecting him to lose all consciousness and sense. She never imagined losing him rom her life forever.

I don't mind (read the writing on the wall)
Mother cries (tortured voices as we crawl)
Find me on my better days
To lose me once again... in a way