Broken Promises Makes for Broken Hearts

As I lay on the stone, cold pavement, my eyes can't help but to burn with salty tears while the memories all come flooding back. Reliving them over and over, hearing his voice for the first time since that night, his dazzling smile, his high-angled cheekbones, his perfect lips. All engraved in the back of my head, like he never left, like he's still here with me. But he's not.

Everything about him was perfect. He's still perfect. All I ever wanted, and all I ever needed was him, but now he's gone. His false promises cause fresh tears to race down my cheeks towards the hard, dirty floor. My limp hands lay beside me, unmoving, waiting for somebody to take me away from my misery. I feel his breath near my ear when he tells me it's all going to be alright, that no one's going to hurt me. But I have no one to believe, for he's gone. His false appearances drive me crazy. I feel as if it's all in my head, is it? Am I imagining the presence of my love? The one my heart belongs to? Or is he really there, waiting for me to realize?

I guess we'll never know, because I refuse to look around. I refuse to search for the one that left me, while I mourn for him, praying he comes back to me. Who knew that all my praying and begging wouldn't help?

It all started with Aunt Florisa's wedding 2 years ago. He was her husbands' brothers' wife's' nephew. I don't know where he was at the beginning of the wedding—all I remember is while I was getting my cousin and I some drinks, he 'accidentally' stepped on my floor length ball-gown, ripping off the bottom and making my dress look much shorter. I yelled at that crazy fool for destroying my $700 Fabiaci gown. Instead of taking it like a real gentleman, he stared me right in the eyes and said,

"Actually, I quite like it this way."

Blushing furiously, I looked away. Just as I was about to stomp off and complain to my mom he stopped me by grabbing my forearm and turned me around so I was facing him.

"May I have this dance, madam?" He sweetly asked, his piercing blue eyes melted into mine and I couldn't refuse.

"Y-y-y-yes..." I stuttered.

So we danced the night away. The rest of the world melted away and it was only us, swaying softly to the ballad. When the music stopped, my heart panged. Was it really over so soon? I felt as if we had just started. Looking around I noticed everyone switching partners and getting ready for the next dance when he grabbed my hand again and asked me for another dance. Accepting his offer, I couldn't help but to actually see him for the first time. He had a handsome face and was a good head taller than me. His body was lean but muscly. The only feature i could never look away from for long were his beautiful blue eyes. I was entranced in them the whole night.

After a while one thing led to another, and we fell in love. My thoughts never straying from him and when they did I felt as if I had betrayed him. Like I was his and he was mine.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and eventually we were so in love he asked for my hand in marriage. There was no going back now, I thought. This is it, this is what I have been waiting for.

Not missing a beat, I accepted his proposal. I was his forever. We were going to be married and live in our own cozy home, years later we would have our own little kids running around the house wreaking havoc everywhere they went. But I didn't care, as long as I got to spend the rest of eternity with him.

4 months into planning the wedding, everything went wrong. I barely saw him anymore. He showed up at my house only once every couple of days and when I asked him where he had been he'd always reply the same,

"Don't worry about it, love." So I didn't.

I trusted him enough to know that if he didn't want to talk, he'd talk to me eventually and one day I'd figure out where he had been and why he had gone.

More weeks past but his routines were mainly the same, this time he brought medication with him,

"I just feel light headed at times, don't worry about a thing." He'd say, and I believed him.
I was foolish to believe such a lie, to let him persuade me from taking him to the doctors but he always insisted he was fine. The day I saw him puking blood in his sleep, I knew it was too late. He was too far gone, and he had lied.

So i stay, laying here on this dark, gloomy day waiting for my saviour. The man that wooed me while ripping my dress, and the man that's heart beat just for me. I lay here thinking of the days where we were together, where I would smirk from the faces of those jealous women. I lay here thinking of the one night where one of those women really got to me.

Cassandra Div. During the winter carnival of last year, my fiancee won me a cute, white, fluffy teddy bear with red ears. I kept it close with me the whole night, and when my friends asked if they could hold it, I politely declined. Cassandra wasn't one of those people who took no for an answer, oh no. It was her who had snatched my precious gift out from my hands and lit it on fire with her disgusting cigarette. I watched as my prized possession burnt to flames, and soon became to ash. I didn't bother putting it out, it was gone. Just like he is now.

What we had was love, true love. Love they said would last forever, but I guess the end of forever was two days ago. I guess when the heart monitor gave us one monotone sound it was over. I guess—I guess to believe that he wasn't coming back to me, it was over. That he was dead.