U Smile... I Smile

I walked over to the windows and watched the plane pull out of the gate and take off for air. I felt someone put their hands on my shoulders and looked back to my mom. When she saw the tears in my eyes, she wiped them away.

“C’mon, sweetie.” She told me and started pushing me forward.

We got to the car and I decided instead of sitting by my mom in the passenger seat, I would sit in the back and lay down. I closed my eyes, but was unable to fall asleep for the ride. Usually I can fall asleep in cars quickly, but maybe it’s because Justin wasn’t with me.

My mom pulled into the driveway and right when I walked in the house I went upstairs to my room and locked myself in there. I didn’t want to be bothered for the rest of the night. Just like Justin said, there were two gifts on the foot of the bed. I picked up the smallest one and put it on my nightstand, since he told me not to open it until I was ready to go to sleep. I sat on the bed and put the larger one on my lap. I stared at it, not wanting to open it. I opened it a little bit after. I carefully unwrapped the wrapping paper that was covering the box. I lifted up the cover and took out the tissue paper. I looked inside and there was Justin’s favorite sweatshirt. I remember wearing it in the meadow and when we were taking walks in the neighborhood when I got cold on those nights. I took it out of the box and hugged it to my chest, I bent my head down and took a whiff and sure enough, it smelled exactly like Justin. I stood up and put the sweatshirt on and zipped it up. I could feel tears starting to pool my eyes. I walked over to my desk and put my iPod on the dock station of my iHome and pressed ‘Play’ and right away Justin’s singing blew out of the speakers. I collapsed on my bed and pulled the pillow that Justin slept on since the first night and set my head on it. It smelled like him, too. Finally the tears that were pooling in my eyes overflowed and ran down my cheeks. I cried silently so that no one could hear me and try to come in my room.

A while later, I pulled my head up and looked at the clock and found out that I’d been crying for a little over an hour. I wiped my eyes with my hands and willed myself to stop crying. I yawned a huge yawn and felt as if I wanted to go to sleep even though it was still early; crying so much does that to you. I stood up and took off Justin’s sweatshirt and put my own pajamas on. After, I climbed back into my bed and got the other present. I opened it and found that it was a videotape; a note was taped to the top saying ‘Put me in the TV and watch me’. I stood up to walk over to my TV and put it in and pressed play and it started playing. I turned back to go back to my bed when I heard a familiar voice. I whipped my head back around and looked at the TV and on the screen was Justin in my room sitting on my bed.

“Hey, baby! I know that sometimes you have a hard time sleeping unless I’m there, which makes me sad. So I made this for you to watch to let you know that I wish I was there with you in my arms and hearing your deep breaths of sleep. I hoped you listened to me and opened the larger present before this one. Did you?” he laughed, which made me laugh. “Anyways, I’m going to sing ‘Up’ again for you.” Justin grabbed his guitar from the bed and started to sing, and I started to cry again. It was as if he was standing right in front of me singing to me, but he wasn’t and I wish he was. I kept watching and in between instrumental breaks he’d mouth ‘I love you’ and smile his charming smile. “I love you, Sienna. You are my world. Just one and a half weeks and I’ll be able to see your gorgeous everything. I miss you already.” He blew a kiss to me and then the screen went blank. I turned the TV off leaving the tape in the VCR player and went to my bed and wrapped the covers around me and thought about Justin. I was actually able to fall asleep, too. That video must’ve helped me, although I wish he was still here with me.

The next morning, I woke up to someone banging on my door. Since I locked my door, the person that was knocking couldn’t come in. I tried to ignore the banging by putting a pillow over my head to zone out the noise, but that didn’t work. I got fed up with the banging after a while and went to the door. I yanked it open to find that it was my sister.

“Why are your eyes all puffy and red?” was the first thing Aaliyah said to me. I went to my mirror that was close to the door and saw that she was right. My eyes were a little bit puffy, but really red, probably from all the crying last night. That reminded me that it was no dream that Justin left, he actually did.

“Never mind, Aaliyah. What do you want?” I replied.

“I don’t want anything, but Mom does. She wants you to come downstairs and do your chores. She also wants to talk to you before she leaves for work. Where did Pattie, Justin, and Jazmin go?” she stayed at a friend’s house for the past two nights, so she didn’t know anything that’s happened during the past few days.

“Okay, tell Mom I’ll be down in a few.” I told her, ignoring her last question. I shut the door in her face so that she wouldn’t bother me anymore.

I decided to take a shower. It was way longer than my other showers when Justin was here. But oh, well. After I finished washing my hair, I stood under the nozzle in the shower and just let the hot water untangle all the knots in my back. Once the hot water was running out, I turned it off and got out. I went to my closet and picked some clothes out. I decided on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I blow-dried my hair and pinned a couple of butterfly clips in my hair to hold up my bangs. I didn’t bother with make-up, since I had no reason to go out of the house. Before I left my room, I got my cell phone off the charger and noticed I had a missed call. It was Justin and I regretted putting my phone on silent. I decided that I would call him later when my mom left for work so she wouldn’t get mad at me for not coming downstairs for a while. I put my phone in my pocket, grabbed Justin’s sweatshirt that I hung on my desk chair, put it on and zipped it up, and went downstairs to find my mom.

I found her in her office, packing up her computer into her work bag. “Morning. Aaliyah said you wanted to talk to me before you left?” I questioned.

“Yes, I did. There’s a list of chores to do while I’m gone at work. I may get home late; since I didn’t go yesterday my boss might have extra things for me to do. But they all better be done by the time I get home. I’ll call you when I’m leaving Anchorage. And one more thing, Justin called last night. He said he called your cell first, but you didn’t answer so he called on the home line. I didn’t know if you were sleeping or not, but I told him that you’d call him later today. He gave me the phone number of his house in Atlanta. Justin wants you to call that number first, but if he doesn’t answer, then call his cell. And just to let you know, you’re not secluding yourself up in your room for the whole night like yesterday. I let you have your time alone last night. But it’s not happening again. I’m late for work so good-bye. I love you and watch over Aaliyah, she’s going to be at home all day today.” My mom rushed talked. She kissed me on the cheek and then left the house.

I went to the kitchen to find the list of chores she wrote down and the number that Justin left with her. I got the phone from the charger on the counter and dialed. No one answered the house phone, but I left a message anyway.

“Hi, Justin. It’s Sienna. I’m really sorry I missed your calls last night. I’ll try your cell phone. I love you. Bye.”

I dialed his cell number, but got the answering machine. I left a message, kind of like the one I left at his house. Hopefully he would call soon. I really want to hear his voice again.

I got started on my chores and managed to finish them all by two o’ clock in the afternoon. I made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch for Aaliyah and me to eat. After lunch, we watched a movie and at the end mom came home. I looked at the clock and she was really early. She didn’t even call either.

“Sorry, I didn’t call. My boss had a family emergency and he let all the employees leave early, and then my phone died on the way home. I forgot to plug it in the charger last night.”

“It’s fine. All the chores are done.”

“Thank you. I already had something to eat for an early dinner. So you and Aaliyah can have whatever leftovers are in the refrigerator. I’m going upstairs, I don’t know why I’m really tired but I am. So, good night.”

I wasn’t hungry for dinner, but went to go fix a plate for Aaliyah. I brought it in the living room, and let her eat there.

“I can eat in here?” my sister said surprised.

“Shh! If mom finds out, she’ll have a conniption fit. So keep it down! What mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Just make sure not to spill anything. When you’re done, put the dishes in the dishwasher. I’ll see you in the morning.” I hugged her goodnight.

“You’re going to bed already?”

“No, I’m just going to read or do something. Why does it matter to you?”

“I was just wondering. Jeeze.” She turned back around and ate her dinner while watching TV. I shook my head at her and went up to my room. I got into my pajamas and went over to my bookshelf, I pulled out a book and got into bed and started to read it. When I was about a third way in the book, I heard my cell phone vibrate against the nightstand. I picked it up and looked at the caller ID, which said it was Justin.

S: Justin!

J: Hey, you sound happy to talk to me. *laughing*

S: Of course! I’ve been waiting to hear your voice all day.

J: Yeah? Well, I’m really sorry I couldn’t have called earlier. I was doing the meet-and-greet, then the concert. But I’m back home and talking to my amazing girlfriend. Meaning you of course. There’s no one here, but me and my mom. *laughing*

S: I’m so glad you called. I’m sorry I didn’t answer my phone last night. I had my phone on silent and I fell asleep early.

J: Sienna, don’t worry. It’s fine. I’m just glad I can talk to you tonight.

S: How was your concert?

J: It was good. I wish you were here with me though.

S: I do, too. Just a week and a half. We can get through that.

J: Sure we can. I just wish it passes by fast, so I can see you. *yawns*

S: You sound really tired. Do you have another concert tomorrow night?
J: Yes to both. *yawns*

S: Well, I’m going to hang up so you can get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?

J: Okay, I guess. I wish we could’ve talked longer. I’m sorry.

S: Don’t be. I love you, Justin.

J: I love you more, Sienna. Good night. I’ll call tomorrow.

S: Sounds good. Good night. Get some sleep.

I hung up the phone then and plugged it into my charger and put it on silent. I put a bookmark in my book where I was and turned the light off and went to sleep dreaming of Justin. It was so nice to hear Justin’s calming voice, even if it was over phone.