You've Made Your Bed

I stared at Josh’s body, I couldn’t move. I was frozen in my place. “SOMEONE FUCKING HELP HIM!” Max yelled, he left my side and ran down the stairs checking Josh for a pulse, Chris fumbled around in his pockets for his mobile phone, once it was out he dialled some numbers. “Someone get me a towel or something to stop the bleeding!” I stared at me my lower lip shaking. Max looked up at me shooting me a look I couldn’t quite understand, was he angry with me?

Alex ran down the stairs towards Max with a towel in his hand, Max carefully wrapped it around the gash in Josh’s head. “FUCK HE’S NOT BREATHING!” Max cried, I stared at his body my hands gripping onto the banister as tightly as I could manage. Lauren you idiot!

“The ambulance is on its way Max” Chris yelled, he ran to Max’s side pushing Josh’s fringe out of his face, “Hang in their Josh”. I felt useless standing here being able to do nothing. I hoped down the stairs two at a time and walked out the door, I couldn’t be there.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Matt yelled, I turned around and shook my head.

“I’m going to get my son”

“Are you being serious? You just pushed Josh down the fucking stairs Lauren! He’s in there dying right now because of you and all you can think about is seeing your son again when you’re bound to see him in a couple of hours anyway! Josh is dying, don’t you know what that means?” Matt screamed, I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

“Be quiet Matthew, he took my son away from me. He deserved it. He’s probably not dying in there, you’re all a bunch of drama queens, every single one of you. Hopefully he will fucking die though, that’s one less of you in my life”

Matt glared at me angrily, he stomped forward grabbing my hair in a fist, “You are a stupid little slag Lauren, I really hope that tape does go on the internet, obviously with Max blurred out. You used him! He thought you actually fucking liked him, he gave his virginity to you Lauren and all you can do is walk away laughing?”.

“Don’t be so pessimistic Matthew, he isn’t such a loser now” I chuckled, Matt pulled my hair tighter making me wince, “If you leave now, I want you to stay away from us. Completely out of our lives. I don’t want to ever see your dirty fucking face again” he threw me to the floor and walked off.

I pulled myself up and dusted my clothes off “Prick” I muttered under my breath. After walking for about five minutes it occurred to me that I had no idea where my son was, I knew where Josh used to live obviously, but I wasn’t sure whether or not to check there. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, what harm could it do?

I turned down another road and started to run towards the house, I wanted my son now. If he wasn’t there all hell is going to break loose. I could feel my cravings from before coming back. My body was itching so bad for the drugs, the drugs always helped get rid of the pain I was feeling. I had been off them for years though and now once had I been dying for them this bad. I reached the front door of his parents house and whacked my fist harshly against the wood, the door flung open a couple of minutes later to his mum.

She stared at me in shock, “Lauren? I thought you left. You need to go”. I pushed past her angrily and stood in the hall getting ready to yell if I needed too.

“Where’s my son?” I asked, she sighed heavily, “Don’t fuck with me. When my sons been taken away from me, I’m not a very nice person; so if you are keeping him here, which I know you are, you better tell me now or you can say goodbye to your beautiful house because I will burn it to the fucking ground”.

“What happened to you?”

“What happened to me? Have you met your fucking son!” I screamed stepping closer to her , she took a couple of steps back, “He made me fall for him and then he ripped my fucking heart out, he cheated on me, not like you’d know anything about that considering you think the sun shines out of his fucking ass”

“Lauren?” My mum questioned, I whipped around coming face to face with my mum, “What’s going on? Where have you been?”. Her tone was becoming more demanding as she spoke to me.

“Fuck off” I scoffed before turning back to Elizabeth, “I want my son back now”

“You aren’t getting him back, he’s staying here” Paul muttered, standing forward with his arms crossed. I gave him a fake laugh and rolled my eyes.

“You have no right to take my son away from me” I snapped.

“We have the right to take him away and phone the police if we think his mother is a threat to him”

“That’s fucking ridiculous Elizabeth, what makes you think I’m a threat to my son?” I exclaimed throwing my arms around me trying to emphasize my hurt.

“The fact you were attacking Matt in a supermarket”

“Oh, that makes me a bad mo-”

“And all the drugs and alcohol” My mum cut in, I turned to her with a sour face. I was fuming at this point, she believed I was a bad mother after she basically sold me to a family to pay off her debts.

“How dare you say I’m a bad mother! I’m a better mother then you’ll ever be, at least I haven’t sold my son to pay off my debts. And you know what mum, you started me on drugs, you never once gave me the help I needed when dad died, you never cared when El died and I became depressed you just laughed and shook it off thinking I was going through a faze but I was hitting rock bottom! I just needed you to help me and tell me it was going to be okay” I sobbed.

Elizabeth sighed pulling me into a hug but I swiftly pushed her away, “Don’t touch me”.

“Look Lauren, you can’t just turn up here and start screaming at my wife. I want you to leave” Paul sighed, he walked towards me pushing me towards the door. I turned to him angrily.
“I’m not leaving until I get my son”

“Get out”

“GIVE ME MY FUCKING SON”

“Get out now; don’t make me call the police Lauren”

“GIVE ME MY FUCKING SON OR I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU” I shouted, balling my fists. I pushed past him running up the stairs to mine and Josh’s old room, I walked in to see everything just as we’d left it, I saw Zacky lying peacefully on the bed asleep. I heard footsteps up the stairs; I started to freak out wondering how to get my son out the house. I picked him up and carried him to the en suite.

“Mummy?” Zacky asked with a yawn, her rubbed his eyes sleepily with the backs of his hands, “What’s happening?”

“Nothing baby, go back to sleep” I cooed, I locked the door and sighed. I opened the cabinet trying to find the key for the French door; I was planning on dropping off the balcony.

“Lauren come out or we’ll phone the police” Paul yelled, that’s blatantly going to convince me to come out idiot, “That’s it I’m calling the police”. I sighed and continued to rummage through the cupboards Zacky balanced delicately on my hip. I finally found it along with a small book, it had Josh’s name scribbled on the front of it. I frowned and put it in my back pocket so I could read it later.

I opened the door and walked out looking over the edge, I gasped and pulled back breathing heavily, I’d always been terrified of heights. I couldn’t do it with Zacky in my arms, I wasn’t strong enough. “Baby” I spoke to Zacky, he lifted his head up and nodded with a grin on his face, “Let’s play a game”.

“Yay game” He giggled clapping his hands, I smiled at him.

“I’m going to give you a piggy back, and you need to hold on tightly, you can’t fall or you lose” I smiled, “You think you can manage that?” I asked, he nodded his head quickly.

“Yes mummy” He smiled, I moved him around my body so I was giving him a piggy back and took a deep breath. I moved to the far right of the balcony and looked at the trellis that was covering the walls. I could climb down it but what if it broke?

“Here goes nothing”, I lifted my legs over the balcony and quickly hooked them into the trellis making sure I was stable before taking my hands off the balcony banister and gripping the trellis. I quickly started to move down it, my feet moving swiftly. Once down I started to run to the gates, I slipped through the small gap in them.

“Did I win?” Zacky gasped, I dropped him off my back and kneeled down so I was level with him.

“You sure did little man!” I grinned, he grinned as well showing his pearly white teeth, “You can get a star sticker when we get home!”. I froze after them words, what was I going to do about home? A place to stay? I’m pretty sure Alex and Jack would be in a bad mood with me after the way I treated them earlier. I sighed deciding to take a chance; I mean taking chances did get my son back. After walking for about ten minutes, we reached the house. I walked in the open door to see Alex, Jack, Rian, Zack, Max and Matt standing in the living room discussing something.

I stood outside eaves dropping, “I don’t know what we’re going to do with her” Jack sighed, “I’ll be honest, this is Josh’s fault”

“You can’t fucking blame Josh for this” Zack frowned; I mimicked his actions, I always though Zack licked me. I bounced Zacky on my hip making him giggle; I shushed him quietly and held my breath hoping no one heard.

“Well, let’s be honest. It is his fault” Max complained, I smiled. I couldn’t believe Max was still sticking up for me even though I’d put him through hell and back the couple of hours I’d seen them. “I’m pissed with Lauren as well, she pushed him down the stairs and left for Christ sake but it wasn’t her fault”.

“How wasn’t it? She forced him down, he wasn’t doing anything to her” Matt sighed.

“Bullshit wasn’t he, he had taken her fucking k-”

“Yeah but you need to bear in mind it’s his too” Matt interrupted.

“Oh my bad Matthew, he took their kid after she’d looked after him for 2 years on her own. He comes back into her life throwing a shit fit and grabbing hold of her. Not to mention he filmed us making love”

“Max...” Matt muttered, so that’s why Max still liked me. Matt hadn’t told him yet, “I need to tell you something”.

I walked into the room before he had a chance to say anything, Max glided over to me wrapping his arms around me tightly and pressing his lips against mine. “Where were you?” Max asked worrying written all over his face; he turned to Zacky with a grin and opened his arms for a hug which Zacky gladly returned, “We were worried sick, you just took off without a reason”.

“I needed my son back Max”

“Where was he?” Alex questioned an eyebrow raised.

“Paul and Elizabeth’s”

“You went to their house?!” Rian groaned, I nodded my head quickly, “You stupid girl, they’re more then likely going to call the police now”

“More than likely? They have called the police” I chuckled, I walked up the stairs with Zacky in my arms and laid him on his bed, he cuddled into his blanked with a sleepy sigh, “I love you baby, don’t you ever forget that” I bent down and pressed my lips to his forehead, my son was perfect and he was mine, no one would get their hands on him if I had anything to do about it.

As I came downstairs the house phone rang, I grabbed it quickly before Jack or Alex could, we’d always fight for the phone just because it was amusing to argue over. “Hello?” I greeted holding the silver object to my ear, everyone stared at me, “Josh Franceschi? Yes I know him”, the woman went on a rant about Josh being in critical condition, and by that she meant a coma. Did I care about it? Yes. Was I almost crying on the phone? Yes. Did I love him? Yes.

Was I going to give him the satisfaction of knowing I loved him? No.