You've Made Your Bed

“Lauren”

Max walked into my room and sat next to me on the bed smiling at Zacky. I looked up from the book I was reading to him and glanced at Max, “What’s wrong?”

“The police are here”

“And they want to speak to me?” I questioned, Max nodded his head yes and stood up offering me his hand, I stood up too with the help of Max and gazed at Zacky who was comfortably perched on the bed, “You going to be okay without mummy baby?”. Zacky giggled and nodding his head continuing to read his book to himself.

“It’s about Josh” Max sighed.

“Obviously” I let a giggle escape between my lips at his stupidity; he smiled at me and reached down entwining our fingers together, “Max”

“What’s wrong baby?” He asked concern evident in his voice.

“I love you” I smiled sending him a toothy grin, “You’re amazing”

“I love you too, and you yourself are very amazing” Max replied pulling me into his side and pressing his lips to my head, once we’d reached the living room we took a seat on a sofa opposite the police, Matt, Chris, Dan, Charlie, Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian were all perched randomly around the room waiting for us.

“Hello, I’m Detective Richardson and this is Detective Collins” One of the police man introduced, I muttered back a small hello, they weren’t small police; they were big ‘I’m going to take you down hot fuzz style’ detectives. They did, no joke, actually look like Phil and Grant Mitchell off Eastenders, but with more hair and muscle instead of fat.

“We’re here to talk about Joshua James Franceschi. Would you like to explain your relationship with him” Detective Collins said, his voice bouncing off the walls.

“Well, I got with him when I was 15, married him when I was 16, split up with Josh a couple of months after we married, I had our son Zacky, we lost all contact for 2 and a bit years. Then he turns up, tries to take my son away from me and then here we are” I shrugged as if it was nothing. The detectives were writing things in their note book quickly.

“So Zacky is his child? Are you 100% sure? Is that why you split up? Because you were pregnant?” Detective Richardson started firing questions at me.

“Zacky is his child, yes I’m 100% sure he was the only person I’d had sex with until recently, no that’s not why we split up. I walked in on him and some tramp holding hands and being lovey dovey, the guys told me they were fucking” I gave a polite smile hoping they wouldn’t get annoyed with the tone I was using. I was seriously pissed that they obviously think I’m the cause of our break up.

“Was your relationship and marriage okay? Did you have any arguments?” Detective Collins asked, I turned to him with a frown.

“Our relationship was fine, I loved him, he supposedly loved me. We had a couple of arguments I suppose, but all married couples do I guess, they weren’t about anything too serious” I sighed, “Look I’m sorry but how is this going to help you in any way?”

“Well, Joshua fell down the stairs somehow and we need to know whether it was an accident or intentional”

I burst out laughing, “You really think someone would intentionally push him down the stairs? Especially me for that matter?”.

“Yes. I really do, and it’s not something to laugh at Lauren, someone could be facing a sentence for Man Slaughter or murder. On some statements I’ve collected, people have written about your relationship with Joshua, it turns out you’re lying about your relationship being fine. He apparently hit you on numerous occasions and even raped you” Detective Richardson smirked at me to show he was in control here and had all the information he needed to make it look as though I intended on causing him harm; I never wanted to hurt Josh, “How many times have you been to see him in the past week?”

“None” I muttered.

“So he’s been in the hospital two weeks and you haven’t made the effort to go see him once?” Detective Collins asked while Detective Richardson continued to write things down in a pad, “Would that be because of guilt?”

“Seriously, you can’t come here and start accusing me of pushing him down the stairs with the intention to hurt him!” I yelled standing up; Max stood up too, and pulled me into a hug trying to calm me down.

“You and Max seem quite close” Detective Collins commented, “Are you two in a relationship?”. We both nodded our heads and sat back down our fingers still linked and resting on my thigh.

“Tell me what happened the day Josh fell down the stairs. All of it”

“Well, the day before Josh had taken my son away from me, he had no right too, said I was a junkie and was an unfit mother. The next day I was at home with Max and the other guys. Max and I went upstairs and had sex, Josh came out of the walk in wardrobe holding onto a video camera, he told us he’d filmed us and was going to put it on the internet. I screamed at Josh and everyone rushed up asking what was wrong”

“What time was this?”

“About... I don’t know 2pm? Maybe an hour after”

“Okay carry on”

“I got annoyed and put some clothes on and then got out of bed yelling at Josh for being such an asshole. He grabbed my arm and was dragging me out the room, I’m not sure why he was doing that, he never told me. Once we got outside everyone just started arguing, Max managed to get me away from him but then Josh started screaming at Chris. Josh was raising his fist getting ready to hit him but I pulled him away and kissed him...”

“You kissed Josh?”

“Yes I kissed Josh” I rolled my eyes without them seeing, “he wrapped hi s arms around me and pulled me closer to him so I bit his lip to get him away from me. He let go so I ran back over to Max, Josh grabbed my arm again though and was pulling me towards the stairs so I punched him”

“How many times?”

“Just the once”

“How hard?”

“I DON’T KNOW. I DIDN’T MEASURE” I cried in annoyance, the detectives rolled their eyes and wrote some more things down on their pads. “He just let go of me and fell down the stairs” I whispered, I wanted to cry when I thought of what I’d done to Josh, “I didn’t want to hang around, I left to go and get Zacky”

“Where was he?”

“He was at Josh’s parents house”

“And they just allowed you to have your son back when Josh had obviously told them to keep him away from you?”

“Well... not exactly” I gave a nervous chuckled and cracked my knuckles making Max cringe from my side and grab my hands. The detectives gave me a look to make me continue, “I turned up and his mum answered the door, I went in and asked for my son but she acted oblivious and kept changing the subject telling me I had to leave. Then my mum walked into the room, I got really pissed off and started screaming I wanted my son back but Paul, Josh’s dad, came in and tried to make me leave. I just ran up the stairs into mine and Josh’s old bedroom and found Zacky asleep on the bed”

“So you just picked him up and walked out the door?”

“I grabbed Zacky and went into the en suite and locked the door so they couldn’t get in. Paul screamed through the door he was going to call the police, I didn’t really care to be honest, I just shrugged it off and started looking through the cupboards trying to find a key, I found the key and a book...” I finally realised I had a book in the back of my jeans. I wanted to get this over with so I could go read it.

“A book?”

“Yeah, I haven’t got round to looking at it actually, I completely forgot I picked it up” I frowned to myself.

“Would we be able to take this book back to the station in case it holds any information?”

“Not really” I said, hands crossed on my knee. The detectives gave me a stern look, Max gave me a warning look, “I would like to read it before all of you to be honest, he’s my husband meaning I have the right too look at it before you take it away. I’ll drop it off at the station later after I’ve read it”

“Do you love him?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, taken aback by their question, “I’m sure you aren’t allowed to ask that question”.

“I ensure you we are allowed to ask any question we like as long as it’s related to a case” Detective Richardson told me a smirk on his face, he knew it would cause myself and Max to get in an argument if I said yes.

“I think it’s time you left” I said, I stood up and walked towards the door holding it open and motioning out of it.

“Thank you for your time Mrs Franceschi” Detective Collins smirked.

“Get out” I growled, both Detectives said bye to the guys before walking out the door sending me a wink on their way out.

“Jesus Christ, you could have just told them the truth Lauren! They’re going to use this against you in court” Max cried pulling at his hair in annoyance.

“COURT?!” I screamed, I punched the wall next to me before running upstairs and into my bedroom, Zacky was still happily reading his book to himself lifting up all of the flaps to reveal what the hungry caterpillar had eaten, “Hey baby, you okay?”

“Yes mummy” Zacky grinned at me before turning onto his belly and changing the page. I walked towards my washing basket and started to sort through everything trying to find my jeans, once I found them I searched through the pockets and pulled out the book. I paced back over to the bed and sat so my back was against the wall. I opened the first page and saw a picture of me and Josh on our wedding day, my arms were happily slung around his neck while his were wrapped tightly around my waist. “Is that you and daddy?” Zacky gasped crawling next to me and observing the picture, I nodded with a small smile.

“Yes it is baby” I gushed giving his hair a quick brush with my fingers. I turned the page and saw our wedding certificate glued in, I sighed and turned the page once again, this time I came across a long letter, written neatly by hand, I could tell this had taken Josh a long time to write as his writing was usually messy when he rushed something, I pulled it out of the book and unfolded it.

Dearest Lauren,

I’m sorry for everything I’ve done the past couple of months, I know I should probably give you this letter soon because I can’t stand lying to you anymore. Something is going on; I know the guys have been sticking up and covering for me but they shouldn’t be, they know that but I told them too. I am so sorry for everything I’ve put you through in the last couple of months, I know I’m a fuck up and I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve anyone.

I can’t expect you to forgive me; I just need you to know I’ll never do it again. I got lonely – I’m not trying to justify my actions, I just want you to understand I need someone, I’m not a person that can cope on my own hence the fact I’m always holding you when you’re around me. I love you so much Lauren, I want you to know you are the first person I’ve ever felt this way towards. I want you to be mine forever.

So please remember when you’re walking out on me; that I will always love you.

Yours forever,

Josh.

I sighed heavily my hands trembling; he said he’d always love me. I pushed it back into the book and turned the rest of the pages finding random pictures stuck in each of them. I needed to go see him, I stood up and put the book in my underwear draw before pulling Max’s hoodie over my body, “Baby, I’m gonna go see daddy” I explained.

“Can I come?” Zacky giggled, I nodded my head with a smile pulling him into my arms. I walked down the stairs and put Zacky on the kitchen table while I sorted through my bag and made sure I put my ID as well as my phone in it. Max walked in the kitchen to see me getting ready.

“Where you going baby?” He asked his arms coming around me from behind, he placed kisses all along my neck and behind my ear.

“I’m going to do something I should have done ages ago” I replied, I pushed Max’s arms off my body and picked Zacky up striding into the lounge, everyone looked up at me with their eyebrows raised.

“And what’s that?” Max questioned, trying to make me look at him.

I turned around and stared at him, “I’m going to see Josh”