I Believe That You Belong to Me

I woke up with my heart pounding in my chest. Cold sweat coated my body. Only when I saw that I was in my room and under the covers in my bed, did I calm down.

It was just a dream…a really awful and overly vivid dream.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand and tried sitting up. I regretted the motion as soon as I’d done it. It was excruciating. I don’t think there was a part of me that didn’t hurt. The sudden realization that I was in pain and that I could feel the covers in a way I’ve never felt before caused me to stop moving or rather my body to stop moving. My heart, that was a completely different story. My heart was hammering so hard in my chest my ears were ringing.

I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that what I dreamt was in fact not a dream and had actually happened. So I didn’t move from my bed. I didn’t want to confirm that I wore nothing underneath my covers. I didn’t want to touch my neck and find teeth marks imprinted in my skin. I didn’t want to accept that my last bit of true innocence had been taken away from me. I couldn’t. I always told myself that whatever happens is ok, it’s ok, just as long as I’m still pure. And it was…

But as I sat there in denial my body started to shake and my eyes began to burn. The longer I sat there and the longer I cried the stronger the urge to get up became. My tears and trembling body were proof enough that I had admitted my nightmare to myself.

I pushed back my covers and clenched my lips at the sight of my blood, and shakily made my way to my room door to lock it. I didn’t know what time it was, but I did know that I didn’t want my father to know about any of this. I’d kept him in the dark before and I didn’t intend to ever throw him a flashlight.

Once I had made it to my bathroom, I did what I did every time something like this happened. I scrubbed my skin raw.

It wasn’t just the fact that my purity had been taken from me that I cried like an infant in the shower. It was more so the fact that the act brought the memories I had worked so hard at locking away in the deep confines of my mind back.

I remembered him touching me and remembered her not only allowing it, but also laughing as she watched. I remembered feeling worthless and like a fool and thinking that only if I were the daughter my mother was proud of it never would have happened. I remembered her-

I pushed the memories back and forced them back into the box I had locked away in my mind and then added my recent experience in the box with them.

The thoughts I had flowed out of my mind and down the drain much like they have always done.

This didn’t happen.

I dressed myself and ignored the pain I felt. I even told myself the blood on my bed was a result of my period as I threw the cover and sheets away.

I would tell no one of this.

And to make sure I kept my promise I went back into my bathroom and inspected my neck, surely I could come up with some excuse as to why there were teeth marks there.

I pushed all my hair to my left side as to get a better view of where my neck throbbed. What I saw when I looked into the mirror shocked me.

I didn’t have teeth marks.

The beast bit me there, I know he did, I could still feel the chill of his cold lips, but I could see nothing. I only saw brown skin, not even a bruise.

This pleased me. No mark meant my father wouldn’t ask. I only hoped the mark wasn’t something only a vampire could see, because then Edward would ask and it’s a lot more difficult trying to lie to a vampire, a telepathic vampire. I excel at keeping things to myself and pushing certain thoughts out of my mind, but when it comes to actually lying…

I surveyed the rest of the house after throwing out my bedding and found I had been out for a while. My father was snoring in his room and the unruly scent of the beast was nowhere to be found.

I fought the urge to sleep in my dad’s room and went back to my own. The person sitting on my bed suddenly appearing, might have scared me earlier today, but after the day’s events I wanted to run and jump into his arms, but I knew that that would cause a plethora of questions so I pushed that urge aside as well.

“I kinda hate how that a vampire can’t enter unless invited rule is a myth.”

I expected my new friend to joke along with me or at least roll his eyes, but instead he jumped up from the bed and pulled me into his arms.

I wanted to hug him so tight that my arms would hurt and break down right there, but I figured that that too would be suspicious so I refrained.

“Um…Edward?”

“What happened today? You were scared and in pain.” He asked not letting me out of his grasp.

“Your empathic brother can detect emotions from miles away?” I asked both impressed and suddenly nervous.

“No.”

“Then why-

“I can…feel your emotions.” He whispered almost as if ashamed.

“You have two gifts?”

“No”

“Then how-

“I can feel your emotions. For the most part, occasionally you feel too much and I can’t, you do the same with your thoughts.”

“That’s weird, why?”

“I don’t know, but don’t change the subject. Answer my question.” His answer felt like a lie and that made me feel a bit better about lying to him.

“I don’t like bugs and when I came home, one bit me. It was really creepy had lots of legs and slithered like a slug and ugh! It was so gross!” I had to think fast and bringing up a memory of last week didn’t seem to be so much of a lie that I couldn’t tell it correctly. I did see a bug like that and secretly I think it was demon possessed.

“That’s all?” He asked as I focused on keeping my thoughts on that bug.

Edward, though less tense did not release his hold on me, and even though I could not see his face, I could tell he was smirking.

“It’s not funny, that demon tried to kill me!” Edward laughed and pulled me back with him on the freshly covered bed.

“What’s with all the hugging and cuddling?”

“I haven’t seen you since yesterday,” He answered as if that gave him a right to use me as a stuffed animal.

“It’s still painful for you isn’t it?” I asked after realizing he’d never stopped randomly touching me, even yesterday he did quite a bit of it.

He nodded his head and I forced back the urge to ask why, I knew by now that he’d either lie or simply say another time which would never come.

“So…hunting?”

“I don’t think it’s wise for you to bring up anything to do with hunting.”

“Why not? Bella seems to know a lot,” I asked suddenly irked that I wasn’t allowed to know.

“Bella doesn’t tempt me as much as you do.”

“Ok fine, but speaking of Bella have you seen her yet?”

“No, as soon as I got in town I came here,” He stated pulling me closer to emphasize his reasoning.

“Well you need to talk to her, she really believes that you’re in love with me. I know that that’s complete nonsense, but if you’d tell her about all this pain and whatnot, she’d probably stop bugging me” Edward nodded his head and released me. With my body aching, I got under the covers.

“I thought you were leaving?” I asked realizing he’d only released me so I could get under the covers and had not changed his position.

“I’m not leaving here tonight. What if a demon tries to attack you in your sleep?”

“But my dad-

“Acerielle, I’m a vampire, you yourself did not hear me come in, do you honestly think he will?” I ignored his question and laid my head down.

I wasn’t going to argue with him. Truthfully I was overjoyed that he was staying, I wasn’t ready to be alone yet and I felt safe with him watching over me.

I felt so safe, in fact, I fell asleep quicker than I had in years.