I Believe That You Belong to Me

Three days

Three days, that is how long it’s been since I’ve seen or even heard from my so called friend, Edward Cullen. Three days, since I’ve been in school. Three days since I began to physically cling to my father. Three days since I discovered that Edward Cullen has ruined me.

The pale, annoying, and old vampire has taught me dependence. I learned years ago to rid myself of the act and to become as independent as an
UN-emancipated minor can be. I learned early on that I could not depend on my mother. I learned early on that I should not depend on my father. I learned early on that I would not depend on anyone other than myself. It took Edward less than a month to destroy all the knowledge I accumulated on the subject of independence. Because again, it has only been three days.

Three days without his annoying comments. Three days without his concerning stare. Three days without him making me laugh. Three days without his cold touch. Three days without (as ironic as it sounds) him making me feel human. I realized that without him, I go back to being a zombie. Without him, I realize that before I was a zombie. Three days is all it took for me to realize…

I need him

I hate him for that.

I liked my zombie state. Zombies don’t care if they don’t have any friends. Zombies don’t care if their father is gone all the time. Zombies don’t care if they are all alone. Zombies don’t care period.

I hate that he made me care

I hate that I didn’t listen to my mother’s credo so much, that I didn’t try to get in contact with Edward, his siblings, or his girlfriend at all in those three days. I figured it would be better to cut them all off now. That way I couldn’t hurt them and more importantly they couldn’t hurt me.

I wasn’t going to be a fool anymore. I was going to listen to my mother.

I needed to

If I had listened in the beginning maybe I wouldn’t have…the beast wouldn’t have…

I pushed the thoughts away. Tomorrow was to be another Monday. The beginning of my complete aversion towards each of the Cullens…and company



I ate my breakfast in my kitchen, while my dad wolfed down his coffee and kissed my forehead before stepping out the door. The moment I heard his car zip off, I felt my heart sink. Even after having a three day fun filled weekend with my dad, Monday still seemed to creep up on me all too fast. I did not tell my dad that I was not speaking to Bella or Edward and that I more than likely did not have a ride to school. I didn’t want him to worry about me walking alone. So I kept my silence and allowed him to think my recent bout of clinginess was merely because I missed him and not at all combined with my fight with my only friend and because forcefully forgotten secrets have been forcefully remembered.

I finished my bowl of cereal and was tying the laces of my boots when I heard the doorbell ring. I froze at first. My thoughts automatically going to the beast, but then I realized he wouldn’t knock, he'd merely appear. So I looked through the peep hole and saw the very person I was hoping to avoid.

He looked even more pale than usual, so much so that his skin looked gray. His eyes were that dark obsidian. He had deep and dark circles under them and he looked like he was trembling.

His appearance scared me

He looked so weak and pitiful. When I opened the door, Edward immediately pulled me into his arms and I immediately felt tears spring from my eyes.

He isn’t going to make this easy is he?

“I’m sorry…I’m so…sorry,” he mumbled into my hair.

I pushed away from him, or at least I tried to. That never seemed to work with him. The more I pushed the tighter he held me, so I stopped before it became painful.

“Edward let me go,” he still did not move.

“I don’t want to lose you over some stupid argument. You don’t have to tell me anything. Just please stop trying to push me away,”

“Edward let me go! This isn’t over some stupid argument! We can’t be friends!” His arms fell at that point. He looked at me with what appeared to be tears in his eyes, though I knew from Alice, that vampires could not cry.

“Don’t look at me like that, I have my reasons. Just go. Please.”

“For what reason should we not be friends? Give me a good reason why I should have to submit myself to eternal agony. Tell me! Tell me!!!” he urged desperate.

“Why can’t you find some other human to befriend? Why does it have to be me!?!”

“I can’t just find someone else! I’m connected to you!!! You think I like feeling everything you feel? Do you think I like being in pain just because you hate me, because you fear me, or because I miss you!?! I wish it was still just Bella’s blood that sang to me. It annoyed me that your song was louder, stronger, better!!! I hate that just when I accepted that I would always feel for you and actually started to like it, I suddenly couldn’t anymore! I feel so numb…I want to feel you again…I hate that I can’t, it hurts even more now that I can’t…”

“When…when did that happen?” I asked, once again taking in his pitiful state.

“After our… fight”

“Edward, I’m sorry…but you need to go. I don’t need you to be my friend…” I couldn’t meet his gaze. I just wished he’d take a hint and leave, I knew, however, that he wouldn’t.

“You do need me. With me you’ll never be alone, with me you-

“Edward, I was finally free!!! And then you show up and worm your way into my life and things start happening again!!! I want you and your family to leave me alone! I don’t care if I’m alone anymore!!! I’m safe alone!!!” I covered my mouth with my trembling hands. I hadn’t meant to say that. I just wanted him to leave, before I lost it and wanted to be in his arms forever. I wanted him to leave before he realized just how much I missed and needed him.

“Acerielle…What happened to you? Tell me-

“I want you to leave, now.” I opened the door I should never have opened in the first place and waited for him to walk through it. He didn’t move a muscle.

“Edward if you don’t leave-

“I’ll leave when you tell me what happened,” he stated matter-of-factly and took a seat on my father’s favorite chair.

I sighed and closed the door. I too took a seat, on the sofa.

“I’ll tell you only if you tell me your secret,” I compromised, even though I knew this was the very thing that led us to fight before.

“I broke up with Bella,” Edward locked eyes with me, never wavering for even a second.

“As sad as that is, that isn’t your secret,” I kept his gaze; even though it did make me sad to know he and Bella had broken up. They were a good couple, but I did notice how things were last week. The talk didn’t help I suppose.

“Acerielle, Bella and I broke up…because…I love you…I have for months,” I rolled my eyes in exasperated shock. I shot up and went for the front door again. I wanted him out of my house.

“Edward I want you to leave, right now!” I shouted once I had the door open.

“You don’t believe me…” I didn’t reply, I only pointed to the door.

It irritated me how he could just lie like that. Sure I lied too, but my lie was different. He lied to me and he probably lied to Bella before too. He said her blood sang to him so he dates her. He heard a better tune and now he wants me? That’s not love. That’s…I don’t know what you call that. What happens when he hears a song better than mine playing? That is not love

Was he only pretending this whole time? Did he ever really want to be my friend?

I tried fighting them, but I was very nearly on the verge of tears when Edward sighed and finally got up to make his way to the door. And as much as it irritated me, he did not walk through it. Instead he closed it, pushed me against it, and pressed his cold and smooth vile lips against mine.

I don’t know who I’m angrier with…
Him, for kissing me…
or…me, for not wanting to stop him