I Believe That You Belong to Me

I did it again.

Three months. A mere three months is all it took for me to blow the cover my family and I have so very carefully constructed.

How could I be so foolish?

I almost bit her, and in doing so…I have ruined the small chance of even just becoming her friend.

I lost my focus, and let the demons in me rise.

Losing my focus unfortunately is not an uncommon occurrence when it comes to Acerielle. I had formed a bad habit of getting lost in her eyes, finding myself enthralled by her gaze, only to reign my demons back in before anything could happen.
Acerielle hates me, but even so I cannot help but be drawn to her hypnotic aura. Everything about her pulls me in like a spell. Her eyes, so beautiful they truly make mine as she thinks, look like piss. Acerielle is human. Every bit of her is, I can hear that, I can smell that, but she has qualities that are so human, and yet at the same time so inhuman it doesn’t seem natural.

Her eyes are the color of the sun. No, they are not gold or pee colored like mine, but literally the color of sunshine. She hates that they are, but I don’t think there could be anything more beautiful. Her hair is as black as night, but even so it shines a blue most humans can only achieve in Photoshop. Her skin glows a rich mahogany that even three months of Washington has not dulled. Then there’s my favorite: her full lips are naturally such a deep crimson they would make Snow White’s seem pink. Rosalie, and as much as I hate to say it, even my own girlfriend’s beauty could not compare to the perfection that is Acerielle.

Prior to Acerielle’s arrival, I truly believed with every ounce of my being that Bella was the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my eternity with, but then…she came along. I caught wind of her scent before I saw her. So potent it was, that had I not met Bella and gained the control I had before…I would have killed Acerielle without a second thought, without remorse, and then have done away with any witnesses. Her scent took charge of my body and had me fighting for control, it was a month before I felt sane enough to even breathe near her.

To make matters worse, her scent is not even the worst of my problems. It’s her eyes. The eyes that I adore, but also hate with equal fervor. I felt free until I made the mistake of locking eyes with her. The very second I bore into her eyes; my freedom was ripped from me. I no longer feel for just myself, I feel for her too. I can feel her emotions so strongly I often confuse them with my own. It pains me to be near her, but it pains me even more to be away.

It hurts to be near her much for the reason that she fears me, and often tries to convince herself that she hates me. I can feel her fear and her hate, and even as I prepare myself for it each day, it still tears whatever is left of my heart in pieces the moment the fear runs through her body. Worse so, the pain of being away causes me to feel her hate for the town, her lonely despair, and the sorrow she feels every time she thinks of her mother.

Acerielle never smiles a smile that isn’t forced, she never laughs a laugh that isn’t fake, and she never makes any effort to get close to people.

It may be foolish, but that is why I try so hard. I try so hard to get her to speak, not only because her voice sends shivers throughout my body, but also because I want her to be happy. I want to end the pain she feels.

My plans never seem to work, for I usually annoy her more than anything else. As stated before, I lose all focus when she’s near me. I can’t really control what I say or do, and that is why I normally get on her nerves. She makes me nervous.

I came close today. I made her laugh, though it was at my expense, I made her laugh. Acerielle doesn’t believe me, but her laugh really did ignite a fire inside me. The sound was so sweet and angelic; I don’t believe there is a child out there who could sound more innocent. But just as quickly as I made the progress, I pushed her back further into her shell.

I can still feel her fear. She thought I was going to eat her. She was partially right, I did want— I still want to have her blood swish on my tongue, but the blood is only half of what I wanted. For nearly a century I have only thirsted for blood, I thought I only had one demon dwelling I me that I needed to keep under submission. This isn’t true. Acerielle dug up a monster I didn’t even know I could have…the things this fiend wants to do to her…and I almost did. If I hadn’t felt the intense fear she had run through her body course through my own…neither of us would be a virgin.

I drove as fast as I could away from her house, and just this once hoping the fear she felt would stay a while, if she let up or even just turned it into anger, I would no doubt turn the car around.

I did not trust myself to move, once I had stopped the car in the garage. My grip on the wheel was so tight it threatened to break at any second. I had a mix of different emotions running through me at the moment, but the most prominent was to go back and take what is rightfully mine at the Carter House.

I was so deeply engrossed in keeping my angel innocent that I did not take notice of the car door opening. I only realized Alice was present when she pulled my hands away from the wheel where the shapes of my fingers now rested.

“Edward calm down, you aren’t going to hurt her. Now come on and get out of the car.” Alice tried pulling me from the car, but I held my position.

“Just give me a minute.” She nodded and quickly danced around to the passenger side of the car and took a seat.

“You know, you really shouldn’t lead Bella on like this.”

“I’m not leading her on,” I answered truthfully. I had not intended on breaking up with her.

“Edward you don’t love her.”

“I do love her.” Just not as much as I love my angel.

“You’re being selfish. Right now she could be moving on and trying to find the person she’s destined to be with.” I flinched at the harshness of her words. In truth I had not thought about that. I was being selfish.

“Without Bella, I’ll have no reason to stay away from-

“I know that. You make it seem like you need to stay away from her,” she said rolling her eyes.

“I’ll kill her...I’ll rape her and then I’ll kill her. I think that’s reason enough to need to stay away from her.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” Alice couldn’t see me doing anything, because I had made my decision to stay away…romantically anyway. I had decided, otherwise things would change and I was not ready or sure if wanted to know. She is right though, I do need to set Bella free. I will do that…soon.

Alice shook her head at my indecision and got out of the car after I did.


I forced the annoyance I had deep down into the far corners of my mind as the start of the day unfolded. Bella was sick. I was going to drive my siblings to school today, but Bella was sick. I was going to avoid Acerielle today and let Bella drive her, but Bella was sick.

I prepared myself to feel both her fear and anger the moment I drove up to her house. I did not want to ride alone with her today, but I had no choice. Acerielle was just barely fifteen, and not even old enough to apply for a permit.

When she saw me, she did not force a wave or a smile like she usually would have, instead she just walked up to the car and thought a small prayer before opening the passenger’s door.

“Morning,” she forced out as usual.

“Morning Acerielle.”

“You would think after yesterday you would at least stop that.”

“I like your name. Acerielle sounds nearly as beautiful as you are, Ace however, sounds like a gang leader.”

“I-it sounds…” she couldn’t even finish her lame retort, for it registered that I had called her beautiful.

“Stop making fun of me.”

“Every time I give you a compliment, I must be making fun of you.”

“People don’t give me compliments. Unfortunately I have a pigmentation problem. One that caused my eyes to have never darkened to their supposed brown, and for my lips to be redder than Snow White’s. I’ve been made fun of all my life. It only makes sense for you to.”

“If you haven’t noticed I have a pigmentation problem too. My skin goes far beyond what is pale, and my eyes strongly resemble one’s urine.” Acerielle tried to stifle it, in order to not be rude, but she laughed anyway, the result I had been hoping for.

The second the sound cut through the car, I had to actually watch the road, for my senses were reveling. The fire that had died down since last night, was once again ignited.

I’ll never understand how something can sound so beautiful.

Acerielle seemed to notice my change in demeanor, and stopped her laughter, which did not do anything but anger me.

“Sorry…I shouldn’t have laughed.” She looked at her twiddling thumbs ashamed. To say she hated me, she sure was polite.

“Don’t be. I wanted you to, you should apologize for stopping.”

“See there you go making fun of me ag-

I grabbed her hand in mine without thinking. I do not know what compelled me to do it, but once it was in my hand the fire grew. As always my touch caused her to feel her fear more prominently, but the physical contact eased a fragment of the pain I felt.

I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her fingers. I held them there, liking the sensation.

“I wish I could explain it to you so you would believe me.” The car stopped. She pulled her hand from mine and ran out of the car, her heart racing in fear as usual.

And though her fingers left a tingling sensation on my lips, her complete repulsive response to me caused the remnants of my heart to painfully constrict, much like it always has.