But Would It Do More Harm This Way?

"What are you doing here?" I heard him ask, an annoyed tone in his voice. For a second, I thought it was Kevin. Fear swept over my body as I froze. Then I heard the person speak. "I came back, silly." It was a girl's voice. Who's she? I became slightly jealous. "I don't want you back." "Of course you do, Shauny." She then put her arms around him and...kissed him! I got out of my seat and walked over. Shaun had pushed her off of him.

"Who are you?" She asked, looking at me. "This is Felicity, my girlfriend." Shaun told her. I couldn't help but smile a bit. "But...What about me?" She asked with (an attempt of) puppy-dog eyes. "What about you?" His voice was cold and harsh. What if this is the way he treats me if something happened? I expelled that thought from my mind. He'd never treat me like that...would he?

"Shaunie, I love you." She said quietly. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have left." Tears welled in her brown eyes before she blinked them away. "I didn't want to leave you. Honestly, I-" Shaun cut her off. "I don't want to hear it, Britt." She let her red hair fall over her face. "Shaun..." I could tell she was talking though tears. "Just leave." He told her. I watched as one of the tears fell silently down her cheek. She turned around and walked away.

Shaun closed the door and walked back over to the lounge, as if it hadn't happened. I just stood there. Shaun looked over at me before beckoning for me to join him. But I didn't. I just stood there. He walked back over to me. "Felicity, you ok?" He asked, looking at me. I didn't answer, only stared at him. "What's wrong?" He took my hand into his.

"How could you talk to her that way?" I asked him, looking directly into his eyes."She left me. She broke up with me and just left. She couldn't even say it to my face. I loved her and she broke my heart." "So, if we ever broke up, is that how you'd treat me?" I asked him. "What? Of course not!" He answered. "Then why treat her that way?" He sighed. "Felicity, it's...complicated, ok?" "How?" "It doesn't matter, just drop it." I eyed him suspiciously.

"Why won't you just tel-" "I said drop it!" Shaun yelled. I flinched, pulling my hand out of his grip. I closed my eyes, waiting for the hit I never received. Instead, I was pulled into a hug. "I'd never hit you Felicity." Shaun assured me. He'd known what I'd been thinking. "I know." I did know, that wasn't a lie. But it was still what I was expecting after being with Kevin for so long. He pecked me on the lips softly. He led me back over to the lounge. We ended up watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas." I fell asleep just as it ended.

--

I was standing by a creek, the moonlight shining down on the water's surface. The creek was fairly deep; it must have rained recently. I had taken off my shoes and I could feel the damp grass beneath my feet. I removed the silver heart locket from around my neck. I opened it, taking a look at the picture within. It was of Shaun and I - Shaun was kissing my cheek while I was smiling, our arms around each other. Back when things were so much simpler. Why did everything in my life always have to go wrong? A tear slipped down my cheek. I didn't bother to wipe it away, I simply let it fall.

I closed up the locket, placing it on the ground with my shoes. I looked up at the sky. The moon and stars were shining brightly. I sighed before taking a step closer to the water. And another. And another. "I'm sorry." I whispered out into the night, even though I knew no one could hear me. I looked down at my hands. On my left hand, on my wedding finger, was a diamond ring. It was gorgeous. I remember what I'd said when Shaun proposed and slipped the ring onto my finger: "I'll wear it always, until the day I stop loving you." An so I never took it of. Not once.

I looked down at the water as it rushed by quickly. I walked back to my things, picking up the razor I'd brought with me. I walked back towards the water. My toes dipped into the water. It was freezing, sending a shiver through my entire body. "Felicity!" I heard that oh-so familiar voice yell out through the night. I turned to see Shaun running down the grassy hill towards me.

I turned back to face the water. "Felicity!" He yelled again. I took a deep breath before bringing the razor to my wrist. I dragged it across, slicing the skin. I could feel the blood dripping down my hand and fingers, falling to the ground. Just before I could do the same to my other wrist, Shaun grabbed my hand, prying the razor from my fingers. "Felicity, don't do this." He said, out of breath. "I have to." I whispered. I reached out for the razor, but he held it further from me. "No, you don't." "Shaun, let me go." I said.

"No, I won't. I refuse to. I love you Felicity. If you left this world, I don't know what I'd do. My life would become worthless. You are what keeps me going through the day, every day. You are what keeps me smiling. You are what gives me hope." A small smile crept onto my lips before disappearing almost instantly. "I'm sorry. I love you." I whispered before kissing his lips softly. He placed a hand on my lower back, pulling me closer to him. He kissed me back, roughly yet passionately. It was desperate and needy, yet loving.

I pulled away, pushing him from me. His hand held onto mine loosely. "Goodbye." I whispered before letting go of his hand and walking backwards, plunging into the water. "Felicity!" I heard Shaun yell out before my head was submerged. As I was carried downstream, I felt something hit my head with force. It hurt. I let out a scream, only to have water pour into my mouth and into my lungs. I heard something in the water nearby before a pair of arms wrapped around me, pulling me to the surface.

I took in a deep breath. I was being pulled over towards land. I struggled against their grip, trying to get free. "Felicity, stop!" Shaun yelled as he struggled to keep a hold of me. "Let. Me. Go. Shaun." I managed to get out between breaths. "No, I won't." "Shaun..." "If you die, then I'll die Felicity." "Shaun, don't be difficult! Please...let go." I begged. I looked into his eyes, which tears were welling in. "I can't." He whispered.

I let him drag me over to land, pulling us both out of the water, exhausted and out of breath. "I'm sorry." I whispered in his ear. He looked at me confused. I kneed him in the crotch (not that I wanted to ever hurt him) and jumped back into the water. The last thing I saw was Shaun kneeling on the ground, in obvious pain, looking at me with sad eyes, tears pouring down his face.