But Would It Do More Harm This Way?

I spent the rest of the day with Tammy. I walked through the front door of Shaun's that night at about 9. Shaun was sleeping on the lounge, his arm hanging over the side. He looked so adorable when he slept. I kissed his forehead. He stirred a little but didn't wake. I walked to the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. I snuggled into the blankets and pillows. They're so goddamn comfortable when you're tired.

I was almost asleep when I felt the opposite side of the bed go down a little. "Are you ok now?" I heard Shaun ask. "Yeah." I answered quietly. "Wanna talk?" I took in a deep breath before turning to face him. I nodded. "I have a bit of a problem." I told him. He looked at me as if telling me to go on. "I may or may not be an alcoholic...and take drugs...and supposedly be depressed." Shaun moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around me. We were so close our noses were touching. "That's not going to make me love you any less. You're still perfect to me." He smiled.

I shook my head at him. "I'm anything but perfect. I'm insecure, I have bad habits, I pick fights, I push people away when I need them most, I don't trust easily, you can't depend on me..." I began to list off, speaking quickly, before Shaun placed a finger on my lips, indicating for me to shut up. "I don't care about all that Felicity. I have my faults too; everyone does. But I love you, even with your flaws/ They make you who you are." He told me before kissing my nose and pulling me closer to him, our bodies now touching.

"You shouldn't love me" "Why not?" "I'm not a loving, or loveable, person." He shook his head. "Yes you are. You have the ability to love, even after what you've been through. You're the most loving person I know. And don't get me started on loveable." I laughed a little. "I've never even seen you touch alcohol, or drugs of any sort. And you certainly don't seem depressed." I shrugged.

"I didn't want you to know about my...problems. If I ever went around you, I'd make sure I was 100% sober." "You don't have to try around me, I'm not going to hate you. I couldn't, even if I tried." "You really don't want to see me drunk, or high, trust me." "Felicity..." "No, really. I've been told that I get aggressive and 'more' depressed." "More?" I nodded. "My brother wanted me to go see a psychiatrist. He noticed that I was sadder after I started dating Kevin." "I'd be surprised if you weren't depressed. It's expected for people in your situation."

I yawned. "Go to sleep." Shaun told me. I shook my head stubbornly. "I'm not tired." This statement was followed by another yawn. Shaun laughed. "Of course." I snuggled in closer to him (if that was even possible) and shut my eyes. I hadn't even realised how heavy they were. "Goodnight love." was the last thing I heard.

When I woke up, I heard loud noises. It's too early for this. After waking up fully, I realised that the loud noises were people yelling. I got out of bed and walked out into the hallway. The voices were clearer now. "Who are you to say what's best for her?! You're no mother; you're a bitch!" Shaun yelled. "I think I know better than you do!" Mum yelled back. Oh god, mum. "No, wait, I know I do!" I walked out to see mum stumbling towards Shaun drunkenly, attempting to swing a punch at him. She missed.

Her eyes then met mine. "You little slut!" She screamed, making her way over to me, almost falling a few times. Shaun ran past her, over to me, putting his arms around me protectively. He glared at her as if telling her to back off. But she ignored his death stare, coming right up to me. "Kevin was the best thing you ever had. And what do you do? You leave him for this...whore!" Mum exclaimed, looking over at Shaun. "Excuse me? Shaun is not a whore! And Kevin was the WORST thing." "He lowered himself to your level. He was willing to put up with you!" "He hit me!" "Obviously not hard enough! You deserved it. Hell, you deserved more!" And with that, she slapped me. Hard.

Tears sprung to my eyes. Shaun pulled me behind him, standing between the two of us. "Leave. Now." He growled. "Fine, I didn't want to be here with you scum anyway." She said before turning around, storming out the door. Once she was gone, Shaun turned to me. "I'm sorry." I apologised. "Why are you apologising? You didn't do anything wrong." Shaun said. He pulled me over to the table, making me sit on a chair. He disappeared into the kitchen for a few seconds before returning with an ice pack.

He sat across from me before pressing it lightly against my cheek, which had begun to bruise and swell a little. I flinched against the cold. "Sorry." Shaun said, taking it off my cheek. I put my hand on his and pressed it against my face once more. Shaun smiled. "How did she find us?" I asked after a little while. He shrugged. I froze in realisation. "If she knows where we are..." "She can tell Kevin." Shaun finished my sentence. "Fuck." He muttered under his breath. "What do we do?" I asked. Shaun shrugged. "Is your mum really that much of a bitch?" Shaun asked. I nodded.

My phone rang. It was mum. I looked away from it. I didn't want to talk to her. "Answer and put it on speaker." Shaun told me. I nodded, doing as he said. "Ok you little slut, I'm willing to make a deal." She said. "What kind of deal?" I asked. "If you get back with Kevin, I'll tell him to go easy on you and leave your little whore alone." I glared at the phone. "Shaun is not a whore." I told her. "Whatever. Is it a deal?" "No." I answered her simply. "I think you've forgotten that I know where you are." Mum reminded me. I looked at Shaun, slightly scared. He took my hand in his. "Now I'm going to ask again. Do we have a deal?"