Missing Out
They can't help
It started with a serious expression and a pat on the shoulder; he didn’t know what to expect really no one ever told him that quitting would have been that easy. He wonders if he made the right choice from time to time. He glances around his room, books and papers scattered everywhere, he’s 20 years old and beginning to doubt if quitting Johnny’s Entertainment was the right choice, but he knows that he would have broken somewhere along the way if he had tried to juggle Keio and work. He’ll be a better man he tells himself but he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
His English had improved greatly, plus America was full of cheap wonderful food, his tuition wasn’t too bad, and he was getting to learn exactly what he wanted to learn, someday he might even work with Clint Eastwood, a war movie would be fun. But there’s a nagging feeling he left something important back when he quit JE and let Japan. Sometimes he stares out of his apartment window, New York’s back drop so similar yet so different from that of Tokyo's, and wonders how the boys he met while being a Junior are doing, if they’re still there. He looks back towards his desk; books, papers, a camera, and a story board draft lay on it. He’s 19 years old and can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
“What if I’d never gotten sick?” is something he wonders quite often, especially on slow days at the restaurant, he wonders if he’d be a big shot idol or if he would've just gonna stay a Junior forever, kinda like Toma, not that that was a bad thing Toma seemed to be enjoying himself. He wonders, as he climbs up the stairs to his room where biology and animal anatomy textbooks lie, what it would feel like to dance again, to sing again, to be able to share his smile with countless people again. There’s a raw pain in his chest, he’s still 19 years old but he’ll be 20 this December, and he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
He rushes out of his dressing room, he had another location shoot today plus his concerts started tomorrow. His coffee was too bitter for his tastes and he was out cigarettes, not that he was even legal to be smoking them, he wondered idly while jumping into the company van if he would have ever picked up smoking if he hadn’t debuted. He wondered if this would’ve been more fun if there were more people around him than just him. He’s just 19 years old and feeling like he will never catch up to any of his Seniors that maybe he’ll never be able to be anything else than Momo or Sawada Shin, some days he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
He’s picking clay out from under his finger nails and wondering if he’ll have time to go by more clay after his shift at the combini is over. It was a slow day and he was already bored, he grabbed the closest pen and napkin and began to doodle, but inside he felt like dancing. He wondered if he hadn’t of quit if he would still be dancing, but he had had enough, right? At least that’s what he had told his mom when he told her about it. But now his limbs itched to move to the beat of a song again. He was 21 and completely unsatisfied with his life, he wonders if he would still enjoy dancing on a stage.
He glances outside as a college student with sloping shoulders walks in, heading straight for the drinks section; he looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.
He watches as anotherguy with a bright smile walks in, a slight bow and then moves to the candy section, he is mesmerized by the leopard printed jacket the guy is wearing.
He watches as aboy…guy, walks in speaking English into his cell phone, he watches as the guy pulls the phone away from his ear and cusses in Japanese because his American phone won’t get proper service here, he watches as the guy sulks his way to the magazine section and grabs one over gaming.
He watches as aguy who kinda looks like a guy he’s seen on the TVwalks in, moving to the coffee machine while muttering something that sounds like lines one would hear in a drama.
He watches as all four men take their purchases, save for the guy reading the gaming magazine he just walked right back out after he finished reading it, and leave the combini, it was the last time he saw any of them, and he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
His English had improved greatly, plus America was full of cheap wonderful food, his tuition wasn’t too bad, and he was getting to learn exactly what he wanted to learn, someday he might even work with Clint Eastwood, a war movie would be fun. But there’s a nagging feeling he left something important back when he quit JE and let Japan. Sometimes he stares out of his apartment window, New York’s back drop so similar yet so different from that of Tokyo's, and wonders how the boys he met while being a Junior are doing, if they’re still there. He looks back towards his desk; books, papers, a camera, and a story board draft lay on it. He’s 19 years old and can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
“What if I’d never gotten sick?” is something he wonders quite often, especially on slow days at the restaurant, he wonders if he’d be a big shot idol or if he would've just gonna stay a Junior forever, kinda like Toma, not that that was a bad thing Toma seemed to be enjoying himself. He wonders, as he climbs up the stairs to his room where biology and animal anatomy textbooks lie, what it would feel like to dance again, to sing again, to be able to share his smile with countless people again. There’s a raw pain in his chest, he’s still 19 years old but he’ll be 20 this December, and he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
He rushes out of his dressing room, he had another location shoot today plus his concerts started tomorrow. His coffee was too bitter for his tastes and he was out cigarettes, not that he was even legal to be smoking them, he wondered idly while jumping into the company van if he would have ever picked up smoking if he hadn’t debuted. He wondered if this would’ve been more fun if there were more people around him than just him. He’s just 19 years old and feeling like he will never catch up to any of his Seniors that maybe he’ll never be able to be anything else than Momo or Sawada Shin, some days he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
--
He’s picking clay out from under his finger nails and wondering if he’ll have time to go by more clay after his shift at the combini is over. It was a slow day and he was already bored, he grabbed the closest pen and napkin and began to doodle, but inside he felt like dancing. He wondered if he hadn’t of quit if he would still be dancing, but he had had enough, right? At least that’s what he had told his mom when he told her about it. But now his limbs itched to move to the beat of a song again. He was 21 and completely unsatisfied with his life, he wonders if he would still enjoy dancing on a stage.
He glances outside as a college student with sloping shoulders walks in, heading straight for the drinks section; he looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.
He watches as anotherguy with a bright smile walks in, a slight bow and then moves to the candy section, he is mesmerized by the leopard printed jacket the guy is wearing.
He watches as aboy…guy, walks in speaking English into his cell phone, he watches as the guy pulls the phone away from his ear and cusses in Japanese because his American phone won’t get proper service here, he watches as the guy sulks his way to the magazine section and grabs one over gaming.
He watches as aguy who kinda looks like a guy he’s seen on the TVwalks in, moving to the coffee machine while muttering something that sounds like lines one would hear in a drama.
He watches as all four men take their purchases, save for the guy reading the gaming magazine he just walked right back out after he finished reading it, and leave the combini, it was the last time he saw any of them, and he can’t help but feeling as if he missed out on something good.
♠ ♠ ♠
For non-Arashi fans, though I'm sure the Arashi fans didn't need it to be color coded, but each color represents a diffrent person in the group Arashi.The Red is Sakurai Sho. The Orange is Ninomiya Kazunari. The Green is Aiba Masaki. The Purple is Matsumoto Jun. And finally, The Blue is Ohno Satoshi.