Because of You
so he doesn't have to hear.
There’s a gentle tap on Zack’s bedroom window and the sixteen year old looks up with teary, shocked eyes. He stumbles over, struggling to see through his tears, and opens the window, to be met with Rian’s sympathetic smile.
“Can I come in?” He says quietly, and Zack barely hears him over his mother screaming at his father in the next room. He nods, holds out a shaking hand to help Rian climb through his window into his room.
Rian keeps hold of his hand when he’s inside and pushes the window closed after him. He doesn’t ask questions, and Zack is indescribably thankful for that. Because being sent a text that says ‘Can you come over? You’ll have to climb through my window though’ must leave so many things unanswered.
But Rian doesn’t say anything, just lies down beside Zack on his bed and wraps his arms around him tight, almost afraid of letting him go. Zack curls his fingers in Rian’s shirt and sobs hard; harder than Rian’s ever seen anyone cry before.
The digital clock on Zack’s nightstand tells Rian that it’s eleven thirty at night –Zack should really be sleeping, he’s got school tomorrow. But then, even considering sleep while your parents are having a screaming match in the room next door seems ridiculous, Rian thinks.
Rian cups Zack’s face in his hands and dances his fingers across his jaw. He presses a kiss to Zack’s forehead and the younger boy sniffles a little into Rian’s chest.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” He says, words mumbled against Zack’s skin, “everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”
But then his parents’ shouting escalates even louder than before, and Rian winces, but Zack doesn’t notice.
Rian tugs the sleeves of his sweater up over his hands and covers Zack’s ears gently, so he doesn’t have to hear. Zack stares at him with teary hazel eyes, and Rian kisses his forehead again and nuzzles against his wild blonde curls.
“I’ve got you,” Rian says softly, moving one hand to trace down Zack’s back gently, “it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
It reaches around one am when Zack acknowledges the time.
“You should probably get home.” He suggests, voice muffled by Rian’s chest. Rian shakes his head.
“No. I’m not leaving you.”
Rian finds out in class a few days later that Zack has a few boxes of over-the-counter medicinal drugs and anti-depressants stashed in his nightstand in case of an emergency.
He asks Zack about them when he goes over to his house that day –his parents aren’t home, and that doesn’t surprise him.
“I don’t need them, Ri.” Zack says, voice shaking in a way that bothers Rian probably more than it should. “I was only going to use them if I needed a way out, and I don’t anymore.”
“And why is that?” Rian asks, reaching over to take hold of one of Zack’s hands.
“Because of you. I decided that maybe I do have something to stick around for. Maybe I do have something to live for.”
Rian’s breath catches a little in his throat and he squeezes Zack’s hand tighter.
“Because of you, I decided to live.”
“Can I come in?” He says quietly, and Zack barely hears him over his mother screaming at his father in the next room. He nods, holds out a shaking hand to help Rian climb through his window into his room.
Rian keeps hold of his hand when he’s inside and pushes the window closed after him. He doesn’t ask questions, and Zack is indescribably thankful for that. Because being sent a text that says ‘Can you come over? You’ll have to climb through my window though’ must leave so many things unanswered.
But Rian doesn’t say anything, just lies down beside Zack on his bed and wraps his arms around him tight, almost afraid of letting him go. Zack curls his fingers in Rian’s shirt and sobs hard; harder than Rian’s ever seen anyone cry before.
The digital clock on Zack’s nightstand tells Rian that it’s eleven thirty at night –Zack should really be sleeping, he’s got school tomorrow. But then, even considering sleep while your parents are having a screaming match in the room next door seems ridiculous, Rian thinks.
Rian cups Zack’s face in his hands and dances his fingers across his jaw. He presses a kiss to Zack’s forehead and the younger boy sniffles a little into Rian’s chest.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” He says, words mumbled against Zack’s skin, “everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”
But then his parents’ shouting escalates even louder than before, and Rian winces, but Zack doesn’t notice.
Rian tugs the sleeves of his sweater up over his hands and covers Zack’s ears gently, so he doesn’t have to hear. Zack stares at him with teary hazel eyes, and Rian kisses his forehead again and nuzzles against his wild blonde curls.
“I’ve got you,” Rian says softly, moving one hand to trace down Zack’s back gently, “it’s okay. I’ve got you.”
It reaches around one am when Zack acknowledges the time.
“You should probably get home.” He suggests, voice muffled by Rian’s chest. Rian shakes his head.
“No. I’m not leaving you.”
Rian finds out in class a few days later that Zack has a few boxes of over-the-counter medicinal drugs and anti-depressants stashed in his nightstand in case of an emergency.
He asks Zack about them when he goes over to his house that day –his parents aren’t home, and that doesn’t surprise him.
“I don’t need them, Ri.” Zack says, voice shaking in a way that bothers Rian probably more than it should. “I was only going to use them if I needed a way out, and I don’t anymore.”
“And why is that?” Rian asks, reaching over to take hold of one of Zack’s hands.
“Because of you. I decided that maybe I do have something to stick around for. Maybe I do have something to live for.”
Rian’s breath catches a little in his throat and he squeezes Zack’s hand tighter.
“Because of you, I decided to live.”