Maybe It's Real

I didn’t want to bore Eli with a sob story, but nor did I want to act like nothing was wrong. What are you supposed to do?

Sit there quietly until he asks the questions.

Then you give him answers.

I took a seat on an empty swing at the park near our school. Eli sits on one next to me, looking childish. I kick at the gravel on the ground and hold my breath. My eyes are dry from crying so much and my throat is thick with a lump that won’t go away.

“Are you feeling better?” Eli’s voice interrupts the silence. A small girl runs after a boy on the huge playground in front of us. The parents are sitting at a picnic table near by, chatting loudly. A bitter breeze mixes it
self into the air, making goose bumps rise on my arms. I nod my head slightly, trying to swallow the lump away that continues to sit in my throat.

“Abbey did a bitchy thing. You had nothing to apologize for.” Eli says. He dares a glance at me and I stare at the ground. My boots have moist dirt on them. I shake my feet and the dirt falls off easily.

“It wasn’t bitchy.” My voice is just above a whisper. It’s hoarse and my words are shaky. Eli grunts and pushes himself off the ground a little.

“It was bitchy, Stella. Believe me.” Eli claims. I over at him, my hair falling over my shoulder.

“No, it was not. I was being upset for no reason. She had a right to talk to me about it.” I murmur. I grip the chains of the swing tightly, my knuckles turning white. Eli stops swinging and stares me right in the eyes.

“She had no right to talk about it and had no right to talk about it in front of other people, making a complete scene. It was rude of her and was completely bitchy.” Eli states loudly. The parents talking at the table glance over at Eli with nasty looks from the profanity he had just said. Eli shrugs at them and looks back at me.

I take in what he said. Considering. Thinking.

“She’s my best friend, though.” I mumble, at a loss of what to say. Eli rolls his eyes, standing up.

“That’s no excuse.” He scoffs. I stand up also, the lump in my throat gone. My eyes burn from the wind that has picked up. My hair flies up in the wind and Eli’s gaze travels to my neck. I touch it, and feel the cuts of the bites. I look up at Eli, my eyes tearing up a little. Partly from the wind, partly from James.

“Does it hurt?” He asks softly. I swallow a little and shake my head.

“I’ve been through worse.” I say. Eli’s eyes are filled with a type of concern I’ve never seen. It makes my heart pound louder than usual and I clutch my hands together.

Another gust of wind blows and I hold my hair down and look up at the sky. The clouds are darker than before and the trees look animated against the sky.

“I’m going to go.” I whisper. Storms have always scared me. Flashbacks of the nights were James held me spin in my head, making me dizzy.

“I’ll give you a ride.” James voice booms in my head and I squeeze my eyes shut, my lips pressed closed. A hand grabs my wrist. James’s hand. I pull it away.

“No. James. No.” I whisper, taking a step backward, opening my eyes.

“Stella, James? I’m Eli.” James says. Liar. James is lying. He’s standing in front of me. I see him.

“No!” I cry, my eyes filling with tears, blurring. They fall quickly down my face and I start to run.

“Stella! Stop. Where are you going!” James calls. I stare straight ahead as I run, but of course, there’s a crack in the cement that I didn’t see through my tears and my boot gets caught. I fall forward on my knees and palms. Pain stings my palms and my tights have surely gained a few new holes. I wipe my eyes and sit down on the sidewalk. A cold drop of water lands on the top of my head and then more follow its lead. I wipe my eyes again and pull my knees to my chest. The cut on my left knee is bleeding and my right knee is only just starting to. My palms sting and only little specks of blood appear.

“Stella?!” I look to my right and Eli is running towards me. When he reaches me, he kneels down in front of me, concern taking over his face.

“What happened?” Eli asks. I look up at the sky and then back at Eli.

“I saw James. He knows I’m afraid of storms. I think he was trying to hurt me.” I whisper. Eli shakes his head, small drops of water falling from his hair.

“No, Stella. That was I talking to you.” Eli says gently. I look at him and a bright flash flickers above us. I flinch and I shut my eyes for a second. James’s picture flashes and I open my eyes quickly. Eli is staring at me.

“Let’s get you home.” He whispers, grabbing my hand. He pulls me up from the ground and I lean on him until we reach his car.

I sit back in the passenger seat, staring ahead at the road as the windshield wipers fight off the sheets of rain.

This day only adds to my fear of storms.