Living Our Lives So Irrationally

My eyes fluttered open to the sweet sound of the ocean ringing through my ears. The warmness of the morning sun shining in and upon me as I lied stiff against the soft cotton fabric which covered my exposed skin. Bringing my hands up to rub the sleep out of my eyes I sat up and looked to the dead weight which lied beside me. It was then I took in all in, still surprised and still guilty as ever as if this was the first time it all happened.

His room wasn't very large, neither was his house. It sat on the shores of the west and as soon as I would walk out the front door my eyes would land on the beautiful beaches which surrounded us. I looked down grabbing the thin sheets which had fallen off my nude body. Though I had no reason to be so self-conscious it was only him and I. No one else of course knew I was here or knew where we were. He groaned and my eyes widened. His arm flopping out over the covers and landing in my lap. The bright colors of the rainbow inked his arms from shoulder to wrist. His other arm looking similar but not alike. His dark unnatural colored hair, all over his head even falling into his shut eyes. His mouth agape and the sound of soft snoring escaping those lips which were all over me the night before. I took in a deep breath before quickly pushing off the covers and getting up grabbing all my belongings before heading into the bathroom which was directly across the hall. I shut the door and changed back into the tight fitting jeans and low tank top I had wore hours before. I had also grabbed my purse and snatched the brush I kept in their, brushing out the tangles in my un-straightened locks. Throwing my hair up into a loose ponytail I then chucked the brush back into my bag before walking out of the bathroom and glancing into the bedroom across from it. He slept quietly as I grabbed my flip flops and phone which sat on the floor where my purse once was. I smiled and tip toed out of the room, down the hall and opened and shut the door quietly.

Once on the porch. I dropped my flip flops and slipped them on. Grabbing the sunglasses out of my purse and sliding them over my eyes, shielding them from the blinding sun. I rushed down the boardwalk which lead from his house and up the stairs to my car which sat on a patchy ground. He lived a little out bit from the town so it would take a good five minutes before I got back home. I opened the door to the black escalate and jumped inside. I started up the huge truck and backed out driving quickly and eventually turning on to the PCH.

My worried mind wondered about a lot of things. If he was up already? If and when he would find out but the guilt of me cheating on him wrenched my mind. I couldn't help it though. I really couldn't. I frowned turning to the beach side view. Surfers were out already. Seven in the morning, everyone waking up to start a new day. I guess I had to keep that in mind. It was a new day, I could start over new. But most likely I would cave again once the bright fiery sun disappeared behind the horizon.

I was not known for this. I wasn't a slut. Though if anyone truly knew what I did that's what I'd be categorized as. I sighed thinking about how I use to just be friends with these two. That's all they meant to be and life wasn't so...secretive or hush-hush. I loved both. Unfortunately I knew this wouldn't last forever and in the end someone was going to end up hurt. Whether it was one or the other I knew I'd probably never be happy knowing I broke the others heart. I turned off the large truck and stared up at the mansion which stood in front of me. Getting out and grabbing my bag I locked the truck and snuck into the house.

“Baby?”
My breath hitched and I froze. “Y-Yeah” I stuttered out slowly heading into the kitchen. “You were out at...seven in the morning?” he asked looking at me suspiciously. I stared into those hazel eyes of his. His half naked body stood behind the counter. He watched me, hurt in his eyes. “I couldn't sleep so...” “That's bullshit Emily, I felt you get up in the middle of the night and leave!” his voice rose dramatically cutting me off. Was I caught? Fuck. “I'm sorry” I could feel warm tears fill my eyes. He looked at me wide eyed. “Oh..Don't cry” he walked over briskly wrapping his strong tattooed arms around my frame.”Why did you leave though?” he asked softly, the hurt returned in his voice. “I just couldn't sleep so I went out for a drive to clear my head. I ended up going to Jimmy's and crashed their. I'm sorry” I admitted. Not lying completely. It was true, I did crash at Jimmy's house...not in the sense he thought though.
“Oh, as long as you were safe” he kissed my forehead. “I love you Em” he spoke staring into my drying eyes. “I love you too Matt” I spoke and hugged him. I love Jimmy more though. I spoke in my mind.