Discourse

hey, i remember. i remember. you promised me something.

yeah, what's that?

back when, back... when we were young. it was you.

mm-hmm, you sure about that?

yeah, yeah i'm sure. not something a man forgets.

a man like you?

damn right a man like me. who else do you think?

maybe a man who isn't about to fall from his stool like a jackass.

and you're such a fucking lady? take jackass from your vocabulary, lady.

oh, lay off.

take it out or i'll take it myself.

how are you gonna go and do that?

well, first, i'm gonna take these hands and put them on your face, take these lips and put them on your mouth, then my tongue's gonna go in and try to replace yours. i'm gonna put it down your throat and fish out the jackass from...

all right, enough, enough. you were always a classy one.

who you calling classy? i'm sitting here with someone who goes around calling people jackasses.

oh, fine, fine. you've proved your point, jack.

my name's not jack.

right now it is.

...you're feisty, you know that? that's what i always liked about you. you never bent over for anyone. damn skirt going all the way to your knees and never let anyone have a view. weren't a prude though, because you let me fuck--

oi.

oops, forgot you were a girl. anyway, yeah. i always liked that about you. you were different.

that was actually sweet.

you gonna let me continue?

be my guest.

pssh, be my guest. i'm not anyone's guest, i storm into houses and drink their champagne and sleep on their floors without permission but i'm not anyone's guest.

yes, okay, i get it, you're hardcore. and you're not anyone's guest. quit yappin' and get to the point.

feisty little--

shut up, jack!

my name's not jack!

god, my stomach hurts.

you snort like a goddamn pig when you laugh.

hey, maybe you forget, i may be a girl but i don't hit like one. eleven years and that still hasn't changed.

don't get your panties in a twist. i know nothing's changed.

what do you mean?

eleven years and we still laugh over the same stupid shit. we used to drive out of the county and smoke by the river, yeah? you'd bring a blanket and i'd bring the beer and we used to argue and recite ketchup ingredients and sing the beatles... all under the goddamn moon.

wow. yeah, yeah i remember. that was a good time.

hell yeah it was good. especially when we'd start rolling around the blankets and--

i know what comes next.

yeah, well, so... i was gonna say...

say what?

you still don't ever let me finish. i was gonna say, your little snort. it's cute. i always thought it was cute.

...you're just a barrel of compliments today, aren't you?

and you still never say thank you.

oh, damn. you're right. nothing's changed.

i know, right? anyway, that thing. that thing i remembered. oh shit, i'm out. bartender!

get another for me too, i didn't taste a thing.

okay, bartender, another round please!

hah, i told myself i'd be home by 9. it's 10:35.

aw, you're not gonna leave now, are you? don't tell me i don't have you curious?

i'm not leaving. stop pouting.

you never could resist these puppies. except that one time...

...

the most important time. i pouted but you still left.

...

i begged but you still left. i cried on the phone and i cried on your doorstep and i cried on my knees, but you still left. now, it ain't manly to say this... but i cried a month and a half after that. but you still left.

...i'm sorry, you know i--

why'd you still leave? you left me, broke my goddamn tincan heart like it was nothing. it was just close to nothing, but it was all i had. besides my ma, and my car, it was all i had. you were all i had.

i didn't have a choice. you know that. after my parents split i couldn't stay with my mom. she tore my dad apart. i had to be there for him. i had to go with him. it wasn't easy, and it killed me--

killed me too, you did. one love died and you had to lay ours on the goddamn altar too. you have me spouting poetry, motherfuck...

i didn't have a choice.

you always have a choice!

you were being selfish. you're still being selfish.

yeah? tell me! tell me how!

you cried for not even two months, i cried two damn years. i left my whole life behind. i left you behind. i couldn't stop thinking about you. you think i had the time of my life when i got out of that town? i hated it. i wasn't where i was supposed to be. i got longer skirts and didn't talk to anyone. didn't even fuck anyone til i flew out for college and left my dad behind. by then i was used to it.

...

...

i'm sorry. i had no right to--

yeah, you didn't. so if you'll excuse me i need to get going--

can you at least... can you please let me finish?

...

please?

fine. go on.

that... that thing i remembered. it was about you.

yeah, you told me.

you promised me a dance.

a... a dance?

yeah. we've never gone to a dance together before. one time you had the flu and another time you had some competition in another state. you promised we'd go to the next one. third time's the charm, and all that. but we never did.

...oh. oh. i can't believe you still remember that.

of course i remember. it's not something a man forgets.

ah... right. so... what do you want me to do about it?

...

what? here? now?

when else?

you're being ridiculous.

yeah, maybe a little, but who cares? we can pretend we're a fucking king and queen and nobody in this joint will care. all that piss beer sloshing in their glasses have them thinking they're fucking kings too. so what do you care?

there isn't any music.

so we'll hum something. sing it in our heads. these places don't have jukeboxes like they used to.

...it won't change anything.

who says i want it to?

you're still the same. i'm still the same. we still won't work out. even if i don't leave, which i will.

that doesn't matter. nothing matters. what matters is that you promised something and you still haven't kept it.

i'm not coming home with you tonight, or any other night.

that's okay. my hand's used to it.

you bastard. got me snorting again...

and you got me smiling like lovestruck dipshit. all's fair.

all's fair.

so take my hand, and start humming anything but yellow submarine.

hmm...

you've got to hide your love away. good choice.