Down Low

I was running through a forest. It was warm and damp, with the scent of pine needles and fresh oak leaves permeating my nostrils. It was just getting bright outside, rays of sunlight appearing behind the sea of trees and kissing my skin. I could hear the loud crunch of the dead leaves and tree branches underneath my feet, along with the occasional squish from the wet dirt. I had no idea where I was or where I was going. The area wasn't familiar at all or like any other forest I've seen. The trees seemed to engulf the clouds, bearing down a menacing, evil aura that beckoned me to stay with them and rest for a while. My legs were beginning to cramp up, slowing me down. As soon as I stopped, I felt the darkness swoop in around me, its smoky black hands caressing my hair and face, massaging my shoulders. "It'll be fine," the chorus of disembodied voices whispered. "You're tired. There's nothing left for you, but ussssss," they hissed, "We'll take care of you. We can give you everything you have always wanted." I peered down at my body. The black mist was slowly encasing me and dissolving my dirty, torn blue jeans, my ratty old sneakers, my purple jumper, until I was entirely bare from head to toe. I was giving up. I felt my toes begin to sink deeper into the wet mounds of dirt just as I heard a loud knocking sound on one of the nearby trees. It was consistent, like a woodpecker. This sudden intrusion seemed to scare off the darkness, which receded back into the shadows of the forest. I kept hearing my name being called.

"Effy! Effy, come!" The voice seemed frantic and shrill, as it repeated itself faster and faster. Simultaneously, the knocking became so loud, it was deafening. It was then I noticed that my clothes had reappeared, new and clean and smelling as if they were fresh out of the dryer.

"Woah," I breathed incredulously as I walked towards the voice. I didn't make it very far before I was caught in a fierce wind that whipped the leaves off the ground and sent them hurtling forward. I nearly fell over, but caught myself on the nearby branch of a tree. When I steadied myself, I felt the panic arise in my chest as I reluctantly turned around to witness this massive cloud of black smoke quickly making its way towards me. I felt like I was in a horror movie and let out a blood curdling scream. I don't think I have ever run so fast in my life. I pushed hard to pump my legs and arms in front of me, keeping my focus forward and making sure I didn't trip over anything like everyone does in horror movies. After a minute or so I could feel the sunlight begin to pour back onto my face. I didn't know exactly where I was going, but my instincts reassured me that it was safe and that I was almost there. But the smoke was gaining on me, fast. I could feel the cold at my back. The mist was in my peripheral and closing in on me. I braced myself for the worst, but fortunately enough I burst through a breathtakingly vibrant, vast meadow. The smoke dissipated, a small portion of it breaking off and morphing into ravens that flew up towards the sun and disappeared. And then I collapsed from exhaustion, drowning in the sounds of rapid knocking.

"EFFY!" I screamed loudly and fell off of my bed. So...it was just a dream...Oh thank fucking god. I huge wave of relief washed over me as Alex loudly knocked on my door. I smiled to myself, making sure to put on my bathrobe and opened the door. I guess he'd been there for a while, because at first he looked extremely annoyed. It took him a second to register that I had opened the door, but once he did, he immediately greeted me with a huge grin.

"You know you really have impeccable timing, Alex," I laughed. He strolled past me and into my room like he owned it. I rolled my eyes in a silent response. I closed the door and turned around to see him plop down on my bed.

"Why?" he asked, opening a packet of gum.

"You just happened to wake me up from a nightmare," I confessed. He sat up straight. I guess I piqued his interest.

"What was it about?"

"That's...for another time. What are you doing here so early anyway?" Alex smiled and jumped off the bed and headed straight for my unpacked suitcase.

“We’re going to get you out of that slump. Maybe if we do some fun things before the wedding it won’t be so hard for you to take.” I couldn’t contain the smile I tried so hard to hide. It was incredibly thoughtful and sweet of him. I chuckled before pushing him aside.

“I can dress myself, thanks. What fun things are on the itinerary, captain?” I replied, amused. I guess Alex was expecting more resistance from me, because his eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh, well, wow that was easier than I thought,” he laughed. “Um, well I first thought we should get some food. Then maybe we could go to the arcade down the street or something.”

“Really?” I laughed. “That’s your idea of fun? Sitting in a smelly arcade with rusty tokens and smelly, annoying thirteen year olds?”

“Hey! You’re over generalizing the scene, man!” I arched my brow as I walked towards the bathroom and started the shower. Alex followed me in and continued on with his rant. “It’s cool, really! They have a lot of old classics and some girly, dancy shit too.”

“Wow,” I replied with feigned interest. “Must be a real party. We should totally go.” I began pushing him out the door, as he scoffed and replied.

“I know you’re being a sarcastic little shit, but we’re still going!” He stopped struggling abruptly, making me lose my balance. I didn’t fall, but it probably looked like some weird tribal dance, as I regained my footing. I peered at Alex, who had a devilish sort of grin on his face.

“That is...” he paused dramatically, “unless you wanna stay in and have sex.” My eyes went wide and I screamed, obviously surprised.

“What the fuck? No!” I promptly proceeded in literally kicking his pompous ass out my door. I could hear his muffled voice behind it, yelling back, “You can’t blame a guy for trying!” At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was forever stuck in mid-eye roll. But regardless, I couldn’t keep myself from smiling. Maybe everything would turn out okay.

But maybes denote possibility, probability, either or, inconsistency, unpredictability, and unforeseeable decisions. With a maybe, the entire scheme of things can dramatically change, and sometimes not in your favor. You really can’t go on living with maybes. And that is a very, very scary thing.