Dreams
Secrets
Just as Conrad finished inhaling his own food, he started preying on mine - snatching a piece of my eggroll or taking a spoonful of my rice. Laughing, I slapped his hand away, "My food. . .God, you eat like an elephant."
Conrad puts his hands out to the side in a "what-do-you-expect" manner and grinned at me, "I'm a growing teenage boy. I need my nutrition."
His foot hit mine under the table, and neither of us pulled away. A blush flew across my skin and I looked down at my food, quietly eating spoonful after spoonful. His foot nudged mine continuously until I finally slipped of my flip-flop and put it against his bare leg - just at his ankle.
"Scandalous!" He exclaims, smiling even wider.
Rolling my eyes, I turn to my left just as I see my father walking toward me in his suit and tie.
"Shit, shit, shit. . .we gotta get out of here. Now." Conrad grabbed my tray and shoved the rest of the eggroll in his mouth. The garbage can ate the leftover food and the tray slapped on the top counter above it.
"Sara!" My father called, picking up his pace just in order to reach us. Conrad grabbed my hand and said, "You're gonna have to face him at some point."
"Not if I can help it," I mutter, running a hand through my hair.
"Sara!" He calls again and I finally turn to face him, "Jesus, you can't ignore me forever."
"Oh, I can try," I retort, venom lacing my words heavily.
"We need to talk about this morning," and then after glancing at Conrad as if he were a piece of trash, adds, "Alone."
"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Conrad. Conrad, dad." I coldly introduce. "And if you have something to say --."
Conrad extends his hand expectantly for a shake, but my father just stares at it as if he's never seen a hand before. He retracts it slowly, dejectedly.
"Look," my father interrupts, "I came all the way from work to talk at you since. . .we can't exactly discuss this. . .situation at home."
"You think?" I hiss. Conrad squeezes me hand encouragingly and whispers in my ear, "Jack just texted me. I have to get back to the shop. Meet me at the employee parking lot after your shift, alright?"
I nod and feel him kiss the top of my head before letting go of my hand reluctantly and waving.
My father watches this action and says, "You really like him, don't you?"
"Yeah," I whisper, "I do."
He turns around and watches Conrad's retreating figure, a dark blotch in the distance and then disappearing all together around a corner.
"I don't understand why you don't like mom like that anymore," I say so quietly I'm not even expecting a response.
"I do," my father says, taking a seat at one of the nearby food court tables, "I love your mother so much. . ."
"Then why did you cheat on her? And, I mean, how long as this been going on anyway?" I avoid eye contact and stare at my fingers tracing shapes on the table.
"It's. . .a release for me. A few months ago Tess and I were just working on a project and things got. . .carried away and - Sara, you have to understand that I don't love Tess the way I love your mom."
"Then break it off!" I say, snapping my head up to look.
I see my father's eyes glass over and for a moment, I'm stunned. I've never ever seen him cry. Or even come close to it. "I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. I just. . .I don't understand it myself."
Standing up, furious at my dad, I slam my chair against the table and don't care that heads turn as I say, "Well I don't understand you." And walk away, wiping my own eyes as the realization that my family is falling apart rips and tears at my heart.
A merciless beast.
Conrad puts his hands out to the side in a "what-do-you-expect" manner and grinned at me, "I'm a growing teenage boy. I need my nutrition."
His foot hit mine under the table, and neither of us pulled away. A blush flew across my skin and I looked down at my food, quietly eating spoonful after spoonful. His foot nudged mine continuously until I finally slipped of my flip-flop and put it against his bare leg - just at his ankle.
"Scandalous!" He exclaims, smiling even wider.
Rolling my eyes, I turn to my left just as I see my father walking toward me in his suit and tie.
"Shit, shit, shit. . .we gotta get out of here. Now." Conrad grabbed my tray and shoved the rest of the eggroll in his mouth. The garbage can ate the leftover food and the tray slapped on the top counter above it.
"Sara!" My father called, picking up his pace just in order to reach us. Conrad grabbed my hand and said, "You're gonna have to face him at some point."
"Not if I can help it," I mutter, running a hand through my hair.
"Sara!" He calls again and I finally turn to face him, "Jesus, you can't ignore me forever."
"Oh, I can try," I retort, venom lacing my words heavily.
"We need to talk about this morning," and then after glancing at Conrad as if he were a piece of trash, adds, "Alone."
"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Conrad. Conrad, dad." I coldly introduce. "And if you have something to say --."
Conrad extends his hand expectantly for a shake, but my father just stares at it as if he's never seen a hand before. He retracts it slowly, dejectedly.
"Look," my father interrupts, "I came all the way from work to talk at you since. . .we can't exactly discuss this. . .situation at home."
"You think?" I hiss. Conrad squeezes me hand encouragingly and whispers in my ear, "Jack just texted me. I have to get back to the shop. Meet me at the employee parking lot after your shift, alright?"
I nod and feel him kiss the top of my head before letting go of my hand reluctantly and waving.
My father watches this action and says, "You really like him, don't you?"
"Yeah," I whisper, "I do."
He turns around and watches Conrad's retreating figure, a dark blotch in the distance and then disappearing all together around a corner.
"I don't understand why you don't like mom like that anymore," I say so quietly I'm not even expecting a response.
"I do," my father says, taking a seat at one of the nearby food court tables, "I love your mother so much. . ."
"Then why did you cheat on her? And, I mean, how long as this been going on anyway?" I avoid eye contact and stare at my fingers tracing shapes on the table.
"It's. . .a release for me. A few months ago Tess and I were just working on a project and things got. . .carried away and - Sara, you have to understand that I don't love Tess the way I love your mom."
"Then break it off!" I say, snapping my head up to look.
I see my father's eyes glass over and for a moment, I'm stunned. I've never ever seen him cry. Or even come close to it. "I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. I just. . .I don't understand it myself."
Standing up, furious at my dad, I slam my chair against the table and don't care that heads turn as I say, "Well I don't understand you." And walk away, wiping my own eyes as the realization that my family is falling apart rips and tears at my heart.
A merciless beast.