The Rarely Rested Lives of the Dallas Sweet Talkers

Surrendering all sanity hopelessly, lacking even so much as one bit of serenity as my world had been turned upside down ever so quickly only over a year ago, I'd so easily handed over my heart into the hands of a seventeen year old girl that I only barely knew would take care of it, aid to it to keep it safe from scratches, to keep away from harm so not to bruise it, which seemingly has been all that she's done, because the pulsating muscle had been a victim to so much of this sort of sick torture for so long, yet I still wanted more. Being at a lack of her only made it all worse, too, only drove me even more crazy as she did when she was around, because atleast when she was I could breathe. Touching her made it all worse even more so each second our skin held contact in any sort of way, her taste lingered still on my tongue, stained onto my lips for an eternity that seemed so short to me, her kisses sunken into my skin as I lay there naked in bed, only a comforter covering me up to the waist, robbed of the clothes that now lay on the floor, and it was all her own doing, the work of her two hands. She'd get close to make me weak in the knees only to leave afterward no matter how hard I craved to have her stay around all of the time, to have her to wake up to in the morning like I planned to as soon as I could have her, planned on waking up next to her every morning for the rest of my days, wanted to, fucking needed to. Oh please, I was in love, and with who? A fucking teenage girl, a student. It all hurt so bad, too, yet I held some sort of sick adoration for the aching in my chest and the butterflies that swarmed in my gut from taking a deep bite into the forbidden fruit itself. It tasted sweeter then I imagined it would, but I had yet to catch the aftertaste, because god knows how this will all end.
All I'd wanted was to fall in love for once, fall in love and not have it be so risky as it is now, I was in love, and not only did I have to hide our relationship, but had to hide how deeply in love I actually was with her, though all I wanted to do was tell her only to have her tell me she felt the way, that though, was something I knew would not happen. Couldn't tell if she loved me or only lusted after me, even when she told me she felt for me. The only thing keeping me in this now was my love for her that seemed to ever so irritatingly grow with every move she made on me.
And I was so jealous, was always the jealous type, but so fucking jealous of this Kyle boy, hated him with a passion that burned eternally for he freely held the one thing I craved to have, and held it just out of my grasp as well no matter how much I wanted to snatch it away from him -- he had her, could love her without keeping it a secret, could kiss her and not have people stare, could hold her hand anytime he wanted to, or slip his fingers into her pockets, could do all the things I did secretly, could do all of those things, but I did them better. That I was sure of. He could never touch her like I could, ever. Couldn't give her goosebumps, couldn't make her giggle or moan, or bite her lip. He didn't know how to touch her like I did, didn't know how to find her sensitive areas, didn't know how to hit her spots, didn't know how to have her wrapped around his finger like I fucking did. But after all, that's why we're in this mess to begin with.
Waking up the next morning, I found some sort of sick comfort in the fact her scent still lingered on the sheets of my bed, and I almost didn't want to get out of bed, even considering it was six in the morning, yet somehow I managed in getting myself up and out of bed, all the while almost even holding my breath as I did so, as if the very scent that lingered around me could entice me into calling in sick only to spend the day in bed, the bed screaming at me to stay, and the only thing that kept me going as I got up was the fact I'd get to see her face this morning in my first class, and I hoped I wouldn't get distracted by that, because sometimes I did mind myself getting distracted by her, even when the students were doing a test, sometimes I found myself sitting at my desk staring at her in some sort of lovestruck daze. And she didn't even know.
My mind had somehow been tainted almost too willingly by her, yet even as I found myself fortunate that the beginning of the school day had arrived sooner then I had hoped I found myself get reluctant, anxious to be around her again, yet really just so disappointed in myself for allowing my own very self to become so attached to something I couldn't even ever truly have, no matter what way you look at it. As I sat on the edge of my desk, to keep my hands from shaking as I watched all of the junior students file in, I kept them holding onto the edge of the desk, restessly waiting on her to appear, waiting for her to walk through the door to take her seat, and my nerves worsened as the bell rang and the P.A. system rang out with the principles voice speaking of tryouts for sports and such, my nerves worsened with each passing second that she wasn't there with me..
My heart was given ease as I'd been interrupted from talking to the class as the door opened in only a matter of one second before she had slipped into the classroom, shuffling over to hand me a late slip, murmuring some sort of apology for being late as all the rest of the students sat only half silently in their seats, some whispering out of boredom, and I couldn't blame them, I wasn't really talking about anything too interesting to begin with, and I didn't even want to, but had to.
Quite honestly, it'd be an understatement if I told you I dreaded the fact Baylee was in the class I had to teach after the lunch hour, considering I wouldn't be surprised if every time I looked up she'd be glaring at me, the truth haunting me in her eyes, a scary stare that knew my secret, a stare that told me she could tell anyone at any given moment without Kat or myself even knowing, could tell anyone just so we couldn't be together, because it was already so clear to tell that Baylee really didn't like me at all, even if only for the fact that I wanted Kat, and kind of wanted her all to myself.
And it wasn't soon after the bell had rang out for the lunch hour, really only minutes after actually, that I'd received a text from the little hot piece of jailbait herself telling me to meet her at room two fourteen, which in reality really was only a janitors closet, yet even as I knew this I couldn't refrain myself from heading up to the second floor to the very closet itself, the halls somehow empty, abandoned looking as I guessed everyone was outside or in the cafeteria, and I quietly went unnoticed as I slipped into the pitch black closet, shutting the door silently after myself, locking it as I assumed she was already here, only being proven right as I fell hands wrap around my belt buckle, tugging me closer gently, that set of familiar pierced lips pressing up against my own, heat spreading through my veins as my body went into overload, developing a mind of its own as I instinctively, without command, forced myself forward until I had her pinned back against the wall, my tongue finding its way through her lips to run across hers, giving a little noise at the very taste of her, goosebumps erupting on her skin as I ran my hands up her arms, smirking at the power I held over her.
My heart went insane inside of my chest when her hands left my belt, working on getting the buttons of my shirt undone as the temperature of the air around us rised at an amazing rate, my determined hands wandering up the front of her shirt now, met with warm skin that made my heart burn even more then it was, aching for her young body, disgust with myself and my thoughts being blocked out with the passion of desire that I held in my gut, pressing my hips against hers as she undid the last of the buttons on my shirt. And I groaned gently in anticipation as I bit down on her bottom lip, giving it a little tug of encouragement before I sighed into her ear, "Fuck, why do you do this to me?" I whispered under my breath, and even I could admit I sounded hopeless, desperate, starving for her physically if I couldn't have her emotionally. And all I got out of her was a soft giggle that sent me going even more crazy for her then before, heart melting inside of my chest into only a puddle on the floor.
Somehow, at the next moment both of our shirts were on the floor, only the next moment after that did I have her belt undone, fingers fumbling to get her jeans undone as she undid my belt buckle at the same time, laughing at my eagerness. I had ever so blindedly let myself get caught up in a girl I wasn't even legally allowed to lay hands on, had let myself become a slave to a love that I didn't even fucking want to have with her, a love that I despised but couldn't get enough of, just like I couldn't get enough of her. She was my heroin, my cocaine, my drug. She was better then cigarettes, and I just wanted more.