This Heart Still Feels

"So you are seriously dating Daniel Radcliffe?" Jane repeated over the phone for the millionth time.

You sighed, "Yes, Jane. I am going out with him,"

"I'm sorry," she apologized, "I'm not obsessed about the dude or anything, it's just I never really saw Dan as much of the dating type?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, he never seemed to have a girlfriend as far as the public new," she explained, "and, I don't know, he never really looked like he needed or wanted a girlfriend."

You rolled your eyes, "Well that's all in the past, Jane,"

"I'm sorry," she repeated her apology, "Anyway, speaking of him, where is he right now?"

"Grocery shopping," you replied, "but he should be home soon,"

You heard her take a deep breath over the phone, "So have the directors called you yet?"

"No," you said sadly, "I'm nervous just thinking about it."

"Me too," she said, "I've wanted to be in 'Rent' for as long as I can remember. I would trade all chances of getting into any other show just to get the part of Maureen."

"Tell me about it," you groaned, "They said they would call today, and it's already quarter to six. I'm really anxious,"

"It's like they do this on purpose just to make us freak out,"

"I was thinking the same thing," you agreed with Jane, "And watch, half the cast will die of a nervous breakdown, and the rest will kill themselves because they didn't get the part they wanted,"

"Then all they'll have is us and have no choice but to give us the parts," Jane said excitedly

"Along with the all the other parts," you laughed, "Hey, I have to go. I'll call you later,"

"Okay, bye,"

You hung up the phone. You sat back down on the couch, thinking about what to do while you waited for Dan to get home. You then remembered you had a few of your books from home with you, so you raced upstairs to your suitcase to retrieve them. You decided to take out The Shining by Stephen King. It was one of your favorite books of all time. You came back down the stairs and sat on the couch, opening up to the first page. You read for a long time, and by the time you looked over to the clock again, you realized it was seven thirty.

'I hope they call soon,' you thought, and as though your prayer were being answered your cell phone rang a few minutes later. you dropped your book and slowly reached for the phone.

"Hello,"

"Deana Vazquez?"

"That's me," you said casualy, recognizing the voice of one of the judges,

"It's Derek Hames, from the 'Rent' auditions,"

"Hey, how's it going?"

"I'm just calling to inform you that we have finished the cast list."

"Really," you answered, trying not to sound anxious,

"Yes, and the cast list has been posted up at the theater," he told you,

"But I thought that's why you were calling," you said confused

"We lied," Derek chuckled,

"Grr." you said jokingly, "You guys are evil,"

"Hey, you better be nice," he warned jokingly, "or we may give your part to someone else,"

"Very funny," you sneered

He laughed, "Anyway, you can come by today if you want and check it out for yourself."

"Okay," you agreed, "At least you're not that evil,"

"We'll see you next week," he said and hung up.

You flipped your phone shut, "He is so evil," You jumped off the chair and grabbed your keys and coat. You ran to the oor, when you decided to leave Dan a note telling where you were going so that he wouldn't worry. You grabbed a piece of paper off the counter and a pen and wrote:

Dan

Went to the theater to check out cast list.
Then I'm goin to see Teresa real quick.
I should be back by 8:30.

wish me luck

luv De.

...

You could tell from within the last half mile that you were close to the theater because of all the actors you recognized from the auditions we're driving
next to you are behind you. You were very exited to see the list, yet you were nervous. You kept thinking to yourself 'What if I didn't get the part?' You could feel your blood racing through your veins and your heart pounding against your chest. You found a parking spot and drove for it before anyone else could take it. You unhooked your seatbelt and swifted out of the car, slamming the door and locking it. You walked as fast as you could to the main entrance,, and once inside found a large group of people crowded around the cast list.

'Great,' you thought, 'now I have to wait until all this wears down,'

"Deana!" you heard your name being called. You looked around behind you to see if the person was there. You turned back to the group of people, and saw a hand waving in the air.

"Deana!" she called agian, this time you knew it was Jane. She emerged from the people and grabbed your hand, "Come on. I have someone saving a spot for us up front,"

"Did you get to see the list?" you asked as the two of you dug your way through the crowd,

"Yeah," she shouted

"What part did you get?"

Jane turned her head for a moment to you and smiled, "You'll have to see for yourself,"

You smiled back, "I like that smile,"

Still clutching your hand, Jane pushed and shoved her way through the actors until she finally made it to her spot. There were still a few people crowding the list, so you had to wait a minute or so until you could see.

"Jane, I'm nervous," you said in a distressed tone, "What if I don't get the part?"

"Don't think like that," Jane grabbed both your shoulders, "You were great at auditions. You've got to be positive,"

"I know," you moaned, "This is just all very stressing for me,"

Jane led you to the cast list, your eyes still on her, "Deana, if you're going to work in the world of broadway, you can't be so hard on yourself,"

You stopped, "I know. I just don't want to get my hopes all up just to find out I got the part of..." Jane grabbed your head and turned it to the list, "MIMI MARQUEZ?!"

And right there at the top of the list in bold font was Mimi Marquez-Deana Vazquez

"Oh, my fucking god," you spat out softly, still staring at your name and part, "Somebody pinch me,"

"Congratulations, De," Jane squeezed you from behind and picked you up, setting you down again and then pinching you in the arm,

"Ow," you wailed,

"You asked," she shrugged

You smiled, "What part did you get?"

Jane twisted her body back and forth, "A bisexual named Maureen Johnson!"

"No way!" you jumped, "That's so great,"

"Tell me about it," she squealed, "I can't wait until Monday,"

"Make way, coming through," you turned and saw a girl, tanish skin, black hair, and a real thin figure, pushing everyone out of her way and nearly making them fall over. She wore a pink tube top, skinny black pans, and high heels that looked like it made her feet stick all the way up. She strolled over to the cast list, bended over and skimmed her finger down the list until she found her name, "What?!" she shouted in her british accent. She stood back up, "How could I be stuck with the part of a homeless bum?!" She faced the rest of the people, "Who is Deana Vazquez?"

You began to walk to her, but Jane quickly grabbed your arm, "I wouldn't,"

"Why not?" you whispered,

"Because that girl is bad news," she said, while the snob wailed on, "That's Julia Hernandez, the biggest snob in broadway."

"So? what's the deal?"

"She always gets whatever part she wants," Jane explained, "The only reason she is so famous is because she plays every dirty trick to knock out the real star and take her place. And if she knows who you are, then you're in trouble,"

"There's no point in trying to hide from her," you shook off her hand, "The first rehearsal in on Monday, she'll find out eventually,"

"Deana, please don't," Jane begged

"Did someone over here mention a Deana," Julia asked with on hand on her hip.

You gave Jane one last look, then walked over to Julia, who was a head taller than you "Yeah, that would me,"

"I think we need to have a talk with the director," she said in an angry tone,

"And what would be the reason for that?"

"Because there has been a big mistake," she told you, "The part of Mimi should be played by me,"

"You think so," you snickered, "Well I don't know about you, but I thinks it's a little hard to confuse you for me and me for you. I obviously have the better attitude,"

"Excuse me?" she said shocked

"You see I know about how you get your roles around here," you said, "and I've got the talent and the attitude to get a good enough part. I don't need to knock out anybody who challenges me,"

"I call it showing the directors wrong,"

"And I call it cheating and being a sore loser," you snapped,

"You'd better back off, bitch!"

"I take the bitch comment as a compliment," you smiled, "and I'll leave you alone as long as you do the same,"

"Normally I don't do thid," she said, "but seeing as you're new around here, I'll give you a warning, which I rarely do. Give up the part now and tell the directors that I should have your part. Then we may actually get along around here."

"And if I don't?"

She shoved her face down to yours, "Then I would watch my back if I were you. Accidents are known to happen at the most unexpected times,"

"I know that for a fact," you sneered, "Ask the others who got in my face,"

"I'll see you around," Julia snapped, and with that pivited to the opposite direction and disappeared into the crowd.

"Deana," Jane said in amazement as she came forward to you, "You are so crazy, you know that?"

You shrugged with a grin, "I get that a lot,"

"It takes a lot of guts to stand up to her,"

"Well we all tend to be a little crazy sometimes," you smiled, "Well I should go before I run into any more theater snobs that want my part,"

Jane laughed, "I'll see you on Monday,"

"Bye, Jane."