This Heart Still Feels

"Hey, De," you heard after you picked up the phone. It was Teresa,

"Hey, Tree," you sighed sadly

"How have you been?"

"Not so good," you answered

"You okay?"

"No, but hopefully I will be,"

"You need someone to talk to?"

"Couldyou please come over, if you could?" you pleaded, "I mean, if you're not busy,"

"Yeah, sure," she agreed, "Give me a few minutes,"

"Okay, thanks,"

"Bye, hon,"

You hung up. It was another two day since the paparazzi incident. Since then you kept yourself locked inside your apartment for as long as you could, only leaving for school and work. You could tell the gang was getting worried about you, seeing as they hadn't seen you since the first show. You were glad when Teresa knocked on the door.

"Hey, Deana," she smiled, hugging you as soon as you opened the door,

"Thanks for coming by,"
you smiled,

She walked in, "No problem," she looked around, "Wow, it seems like forever since I've lived here,"

"It shouldn't be," you said, "You only moved out a few weeks ago,"

She sat down, "So do you want to talk about you and Dan?"

You nodded, "I wouldn't mind,"

"So what happened?"

You sat down next to her, "I don't know. Everything was alright until he said he loved me."

"What exactly happened?"

"Well after you left," you explained, "Dan was kissing me good-bye, and I mean a lot," you described, "And I pointed out that he liked kissing me, and then he said 'Well I like kissing the woman I love,'"

"And what did you do?"

You took a deep breath, "I said what, and when he repeated what he said I just kind of looked at him until some of the girls grabbed me and took me to the party,"

"What about the next day?" she asked

"Did you already talk to Dan?"

She nodded slowly, "He was pretty upset,"

You covered your face in distress and groaned, "I didn't mean to cause all this drama,"

"You're a theater freak," Teresa joked, "Drama follows you wherever you go,"

"I'm not in the mood for jokes," you said sternly, "For the past two days I've been followed by every reporter in London asking me about whats going on,"

"Sorry," she apologized, "Well, whats the problem?"

"I don't know," you groaned, "I guess it just kind of took me by surprise,"

Teresa laughed, "You're not serious, are you?"

You nodded,

"How could you miss that?"

"Miss what?"

Teresa gave out a loud groan, "You can't tell me that you haven't noticed that Dan is in love with you,"

"Dan is not in love with me!" you snapped

"Yes he is," Teresa argued, "What's the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me?" you stomped out of your seat, "Well you seem to know just about everything! Why don't you tell me, since apparently I know nothing!"

"You know what? Maybe I will!" Teresa shouted, "But first do you honestly think you can lie to my face and say you haven't notice Dan's feelings?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You've always been one to know how someone is feeling," Teresa told you, "You were always the empathic one of us. And if anyone should know exactly whats up with Dan it should be you,"

"That doesn't mean anything,"

"Yes it does!" she snapped, "And you know what else I think? I think you're afraid."

"Afraid of what?" you asked

"Afraid of getting close to him!"

There was a long period of silence.

"That's ridiculous," you finally spoke,

"It's the truth," Teresa grabbed your arm before you could walk away, with your face still turned from hers, "You've always been afraid of getting close, and that's the only thing a guy ever asks from you. I don't know why exactly, but you can't live like this unless you want to end up alone. Whether you want to believe it or not, Dan loves you, and even after all this bullshit you've put him through he still loves you." Her voice started to calm down, "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

You waited to answer, "Don't you think it does?" your voice shook as you turned your had back to face Teresa, "You're right. About everything. I guess deep down I knew Dan was feeling something, and I was just trying to deny it,"

"Why, De?"

You pulled your hair away from your face, "I was afraid of getting hurt again,"

"What do you mean hurt aga-" Teresa stopped, realizing what you meant, "Oh, Deana. Don't tell me you..."

You nodded before she could finish, "I never let anyone know until now,"

Teresa came over and wrapped her arm around you, "I'm so sorry, Deana. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was too embarrased." you shook your head,

"De, I wish you would have told me this sooner," Teresa said, "That would have explained a lot,"

"Like I said, I was too embarrased."

"De, I can understand how hurt you are," Teresa said comfortingly, "but you can't let what happened then get in the way of you and Dan. He is so much of a better guy than that asshole. Dan would never hurt you like that,"

You attempted to smile, "I know, but it still makes it hard to trust guys. You should know that,"

Teresa sat you down on the couch, "Yeah, Trevor." she remembered, "He really hurt me. I was in love with him, and I though he loved me too, but the only thing he really loved was my body."

"I wanted to rip out his balls when I found out he almost raped you," you growled,

"You almost did, remember?"

"Oh yeah," you giggled, "His screams were music to my ears."

Teresa smiled, "Anyway, it was the same way for me. For the longest time I felt like every guy I walked into wanted to rape me. I was really paronoid all the time. But eventually I got over it once I met Tom (Authors note: NOT FELTON!!!) and after we split I came here and I met Oliver. And now we're married."

"Looks like you two lived happily ever after," you said jokingly,

"And you and Dan can have the same thing," Teresa said, "You just need to be willing to take a chance,"

You looked into her gaze and smiled, "You're right, again,"

"Good, now you need to go talk to Dan," Teresa told you, "You've got the boy all torn up ever since you broke up with him,"

You gave her a confused look, "Who said I broke up with him?"

"Dan did," she answered, "He said that you told him you needed some space."

"Yeah, I never said anything about breaking up," you said as-a-matter-of-factly

"That pretty much means you're breaking up, De."

"Well, I dodn't mean it in that way," you exclaimed, "Aw crap. No wonder he feels like shit."

"Miscommunications suck."

"Tell me about it,"

"Listen," Teresa grabbed your shoulders, "Just go to his house and talk to him. Explain why you have been a little off, he'll understand,"

"I don't think so," You shook your head, "Lately he's been avoiding me just as much as I've been avoiding him."

"Then you'll just have to catch him when he least expects it."

You gave her a puzzled look, "How do we do that?"

Teresa gave a very sly grin, "I have a few ideas,"