This Heart Still Feels

The next day was a pretty stressing day for Dan. He was upset about you and the break-up, and if that weren't bad enough, he was battling reporters every hour. Everyone seemed to want the inside scoop. Dan had himself locked up in his room all evening to avoid the reporters, but then he still felt bad. You had spent nearly a week in his house. Every inch of it reminded him of you.

Before Dan got the chance to break down, the phone rang. Dan thought about just letting the answering machine pick it up, but then thought it might be an important phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hey Dan,"

"What's up Teresa?"

"Dan, could you do me a huge favor?" Teresa asked

"Sure,"

"Could you stop by my house and get my mail?"

"Why do I need to get your mail?"

"Because I'm going to busy for the evening," she explained, "I haven't been around long enough to get it, and after dark the neighbors kids like to steal whats left inside it. I'm expecting an important letter today, so I don't want anybody taking it."

"Sure, that's no problem," Dan replied,

"Could you do it now?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes,"

"Great, I owe you one," and she hung up before Dan could say any more.

...

A short while later he arrived at Teresa's doorstop. He glanced up at the house, no lights were on. He looked around to see if any kids were running around trying to get to the mailbox. The streets were deserted. He shook his head and walked up to the mailbox. When he opened the mailbox and reached inside, he found that it had been emptied again.

'Damn kids must have gotten to it before I did,' he thought,

"Hey, Dan,"

Dan nearly jumped around when he heard your voice. He seemed really surprised to see you.

"What are you doing here?"

"Teresa told me to get her mail while she was out," he told her

"Dan, Teresa's inside," you smiled,

He gave you a puzzled look, "Then why did she-"

"Because she thought we needed to talk," you walked closer, "and I think so too."

Dan stepped back nervously, "I thought you needed some space,"

"I did, and now I need to talk to you,"

"Well I'm not in the mood for talking," He turned and started to leave,

"Dan, I'm sorry," you called chasing after him

"Yeah, me too," he muttered, "Sorry for trying to get close to you,"

"Please stop,"

"Why should I?" he snapped angrly

"Because I want to explain," you begged stepping in front of him, "Please, just let me talk for a few minutes,"

"Fine," he sighed with defeat, "Talk,"

"Dan," you started, "I am sorry for making you go through all this. I didn't want to hurt you at all, believe me on that."

"Then what was with you last weekend?" he asked

You shuddered, "You want to know the truth?"

He nodded

You took in a deep breath, "I was scared,"

"Scared of-"

"Don't say anything until I finish," you cut him off, "Please. I was scared of getting hurt again. I know Teresa told you that I've pushed away every guy that said he loved me." you took a pause, "and it's true. Every guy, but one."

A shocked look grew over Dan.

"It was my senior year of highschool," you explained, "His name was Derek. I met him in late October at a costume party. I was talking with my friends for awhile, but they all soon got pulled onto the dance floor with different guys. That's when he started talking to me," you smiled, "I felt like we had been talking for hours. He was so interesting, very intelectual (sp?). He had a lot of my interests, so we got along right away. We talked some more outside of school, and it wasn't long until he finally asked me out."

"We had been dating for six months when he first told me he loved me. I sort of freaked out as usual, but he wasn't finished there." you took in another quivering breath, "He then told me he knew I didn't feel that way yet, but that wouldn't mean he would stop waiting for me. He told me that I could say it whenever I felt like I could, and he would wait for me until then." you shook your head, "I guess the only reason I stayed with him was because for the first time, I didn't feel pressured to have to say it back,"

"At the beginning of that summer I left for a family vacation. We stayed at this really nice hotel. The problem was I got stuck with the loudest neighbors on the floor. Every night it was moaning and groaning, and all that sick shit. Finally I couldn't take anymore and I pounded the door open to give them a piece of my mind." Tears started coming from your eyes, "And on the bed, all over another girl, was Derek,"

There was a long silence. You back was now facing Dan, as he was standing behind you in total shock, "Deana, I didn't know,"

"You know what really sucked about that?" you quivered, turning around to face him again, "He still told me he loved me, even right before I left. And the worst part was," you wiped your eyes, "I was going to tell him I loved him as soon as I got back,"

"Deana," he said softly, "I had no idea,"

"Nobody did," you shook your head, "I never told anyone the details of that relationship,"

Dan walked over to you and held you in a tight embrace, "If I knew I would have never said anything,"

"No, don't be," you looked up into his eyes, "It was me that couldn't handle it." You wrapped your arms around his neck, "Dan, Derek was the last guy I dated before I met you. I was so hurt that I felt the only way to be sure I never felt it again was by keeping my distance. That changed when I met you,"

"So what are you saying?"

You took a deep breath, "I'm not saying I'm in love with you, if that's what you're thinking. But if you can help me, I may be able learn how to trust again. Can you do that?"

"I'll do anything for you," He whispered, pressing his forehead against your,

You smiled and hugged him, "Thank you, Dan,"

"Anytime, love,"

"Dan," you pulled back, "You could please not call me that? At least not right now,"

"Sure, whatever you say," he said

You smiled again and kissed him, "Thanks,"

"AWWE!" Teresa shouted from inside the house, "You guys are soooooooo cute!"

you giggled, "Wake up the entire neighborhood, will you?"

"Sure why not?" she laughed, "Okay, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone," and she went inside the house,

You and Dan laughed, "Well I should go,"

"You want me to give you a ride home?" Dan offered,

"Yeah, sure," you said, "I drove here with Teresa in her car so I'm sort of stranded,"

"Then in that case I am definetly taking you home," He grinned.

The two of you linked hands and headed for Dan's car.