This Heart Still Feels

A little while later (and a few more songs afterwards,) Brie came barging through the door, fist clenched and teeth gritted.

"Is he still here?" she demanded to know, "If he is, I'll break every bone in his body,"

You laughed, "Relax, Brie," you assured her, "I kicked him out about half an hour ago,"

"You did?" She smiled, "That's my girl," she sat down in the chair across,

You nodded, "I didn't feel like scrubbing blood off the carpet, so I sent him out before any blood could be shed,"

"So what happened?"

You rolled your head back to look at Brie, "You really want to know?"

Her face fell, "Was it that bad?"

You shook your head, "No, I was just asking, do you really want to know?"

She nodded her head anxiously like a little child

You sat up straight, "Okay, well he first tried giving me this lame ass excuse to why he cheated on me,"

"Which was?"

You rolled your eyes, "He said that when he met me he changed, so he needed to know if he had changed for good,"

"Asshole," Brie muttered,

You continued, "Of course I didn't buy it, so I just kept snapping at him, and he was really calm, saying he really did love me, and that after I left he couldn't move on,"

Brie snorted,

"And then..." You were hesitant to answer

"Then what?" Brie asked curiously,

You took out the paper that Derrek handed to you, "He asked me to meet him here tomorrow so he could prove he really had changed,"

She snatched the paper and read the address. Her eyes widened as she finished "Dude, this is an hour away!" she exclaimed,

You walked around her and reread the adress, "It is,"

Brie nodded, "Yeah. I once had a job out there. It use to take me forever to get there on the bus."

You shrugged, "So,"

"So?" Brie repeated as if she had just been insulted, "What do you mean so? Why would Derrek want to meet you somewhere over an hour away just to prove something to you?"

You shrugged again, "I don't know,"

She shook her head, "Something doesn't seem right,"

"What do you mean?"

"It's pretty obvious," Brie told you, "I mean, first he shows up three years after he cheated on you on a coincidental photography assignment in your town, and then he just happens to be in the neighborhood and also happens to know where you live. So he comes by begging for your forgiveness, and then he asks you to meet him somewhere an hour away in God knows where," she shook her head again, "I think he's up to something,"

"Brie, you're being paronoid,"

"I'm being causious," she corrected, "I don't think you should go,"

"Why not?"

"Because for all you know, he could be planning to rape you in an abandoned warehouse where no one would be able to help you,"

"He wouldn't do that," you argued

"How do you know that?" she shot back, "You also said he wouldn't cheat on you,"

You dropped your head at that comment. There was a long pause,

"De," Brie pleaded, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry,"

You sat up and snapped, "Look, I understand you mean well and that you don't want to see me get hurt again, and I appreciate that. But you have no right telling me what I can and can't do based on previous misjudgements." you took in a breath, "I'm old enough to know when to follow my instincts, and right now they're telling me that I need to see him tomorrow."

she sighed, "So are you going?"

You nodded slowly, "I know I shouldn't, but something tells me I need to. Maybe if I do, I won't be so afraid of loving Dan,"

Brie wrapped her arms around you and rested her head on your shoulder, "I understand," she said,

You hugged her back, "And just 'cause I'm following my instincts doesn't mean I'm going to be stupid about it, I know how to handle strangers, I can deal with Derrek,"

"Are you sure?" Brie asked seriously,

You nodded, "Positive,"

Brie nodded, "I still think it's a bad idea, but I'll respect your wishes. I know you can take care of yourself,"

You smiled, "Thanks. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late,"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes mother,"

You laughed, "'Nite Brie,"

"'Nite,"

You closed the door behind you and plopped down on your bed. Your first thought was about Derrek. You wanted to see him, you really did. But you first thought of how he broke your heart. And then there was the issue with Dan. At this point, just mentioning his name would make Dan boil with fury. If he ever found out you were meeting with him, who knows what he would do. You sighed, thinking about whether or not you should tell Dan about Derrek. You knew you had to be honest with him, but you were also picturing the entire scene where you told Dan. And it wasn't good. But even if you decided not to tell him, with the paparazzi following you everywhere you went, Dan would find out eventually, making him even more angry. You rolled over and clutched your pillow, and as you drifted off to sleep, your mind faded to memories of way back then.

***

"Derrek?" You laughed, "Where are you taking me?"

"You'll see," You heard Derrek reply. You had been driving for what seemed like ages, Derrek driving and you in the passengers seat blindfolded. Derrek was taking you on a surprise date, and he refused to say what, or where, it was. You still giggled and laughed, going along with whatever was happeneing. You trusted him.

Finally you felt the car making a few sharp turns until it came to a stop. You heard Derrek open his car door and slam it shut. A second later he opened the door on your side and took your hand, leading you out.

"Can I take off my blindfold now?" you pleaded

"Not yet," he said, though you could tell as he postitioned you he was eager to show you.

"Okay," Derrek finally said, "Take it off,"

You lifted the blindfold off and stood in shock. There right in front of you was thousands, if not millions, of flowers in one giant field that seemed to stretch on for miles. If not shocked by the beauty of the scene, you were surprised at the fact Derrek had even thought to take you here.

"I thought we could do something a little different today," He stepped up next to you holding up a picnic basket and blanket.

You smiled at him, "This is amazing, but why?"

"Because there weren't enough flowers to fit in a bouquet that was good enough for you,"

You smiled and kissed his lips, "You're amazing, Derrek,"

He took you by the waist, "I do try,"

And with that he lead you into the fieldYou two wandered around, getting yoursselves lost in the endless sea of flowers, until you found the perfect spot to sit. Derrek set out the blanket and the two of you had your dinner. Inside the basket he had packed you all of your faorites, and all evening he was a true gentleman. Later in the evening, he got a little quiet, and by the time dinner was nearly finished, you had noticed by now that there was something on his mind.

"Derrek," you started, "Are you okay?"

He sighed, "No," he shook his head, "I'm not,"

You grabbed his hand, "What's wrong?"

Derrek looked into your eyes, "Deana, have you ever wanted to tell someone something, and you were afraid they would get scared by what you have to say?"

You rolled your eyes, "Infinate times plus one,"

He didn't smile, "I'm serious. I really need to say something, right now, but I'm afraid that you might freak out on me,"

It was your turn to frown, "Derrek, you know that you can tell me anything. You can trust me, otherwise I'm not sure why we're dating." You gazed deeper into his eyes, "So if you really want to say something, say it. I won't object,"

"You just need to promise me that you won't say anything until I'm finished,"

You nodded

He took in a deep breath, "Deana, I love you,"

Your eyes widened,

"You promised," He knew that you already had a million thought that were about to explode. You kept silent, "De, I know you think I'm rushiing it, or you might think I'm crazy, which I am: crazy about you. (cheesy but sooo cute) I'll say it again, I love you. I've never been so sure of anything."

You felt your eyes fall down. Your heart was beating so quickly you thought it would blast out from your chest.

"I know this is uncomfortable for you," Derrek continued, "but let me finish. Even though I'm telling you this, I'm not expecting you to say it back."

'Woah,' you thought, 'Didn't see that coming,'

"I know you've been hurt in the past, and I know how sensitive you are of the subject. That's why I was so afraid to tell you. I've been warned of whats happened before. And I understand if I'm asking for too much, so if you want to leave, thats fine. But I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you're uncomfortable in." He pulled your hand to his heart, "I love you too much to do that to you,"

You lifted your head. He was very sincere with every word he said. There nothing you could think of to say, so you kissed him in the most loving way, "I'm not going anywhere," you whispered and kissed Derrek again,

...

Brie tapped on the door lightly enough to open it slightly. She peeked inside to find you snoozing away,

"Yeah, she's asleep," she whispered into the phone, "I thought she'd never knock out...Yeah, we're still on for tonight...No, I'll drive to your place tonight, though I won't be able to stay as long considering how long it took her tonight...I know, but I'll make it up to you, I promise...Okay, see you in a few...Love you too,"

She hung up. Brie still dressed, so it didn't take her long to get ready. She got on the first pair of her shoes she saw and grabbed her bag, double checking to make sure she had everything she needed. Brie took one last glance into your bedroom, and then she left.