This Heart Still Feels

"Brie, where are my keys?"

"I don't know. Where did you have them last?"

"I don't know," you came out of the bathroom, "You had them last, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Brie laughed, "I don't know. Check my room,"

You shifted around and went into her bedroom. "I am going to be so late,"

"Geez, De. For someone whose about to meet her ex you seem awfully anxious,"

"I'm not anxious," you called, "I'm nervous,"

"About what?"

"I don't know," you came back out, "I just am,"

"Are your instincts telling you something like you shouldn't go at all?"

You smirked, "Nice try, but thats not it,"

"Then what is it?" Brie asked

You went into the kitchen, "I don't know, but my stomach feels like it's going to explode."

"You know you don't have to go through with this if you don't want to," Brie assured you, "It's not like he's forcing you to do this,"

"But I have to," you snapped around, "I just feel like it's the only way that will make things better," You slammed you hand on the counter, "Where are those damn keys!"

"I found them," Brie said as she pulled her hand from the wedges of the couch, "They were in the couch,"

You scurried over and snatched the keys, "Thanks, now I need to go,"

"Hey De," she called, "What do you want me to say to Dan if he asks about you?"

You grabbed your coat, "Umm...Tell him I'm shopping or something. Make something up,"

"Isn't that being a little dishonest?"

"No shit, Brie," you said,

"How come?"

"Because you know what Dan would do if he found out I was meeting Derrek," you told her, "He'd beat the living crap out of him, and then he'd be pissed as hell at me,"

Brie thought for a second, and then said, "You've got a point,"

"I think it would just be best if we kept the whole Derrek thing a secret for now. Give me a little time to think about how I'm going to tell Dan, you know?"

Brie nodded, "I guess I can see that,"

"Good," you smiled, "Because it's going to take a lot of thought on how to do this all,"

"What time do you think you'll be back?"

You looked at your cellphone for the time, "Probably in four hours, seeing it'll take me two hours to get there and back, so don't wait up for me,"

"Trust me, I won't,"

You smiled again, "I'll see you later,"

"Drive carefully," Brie called as you shut the door

...

Your hands were shaking nervously as you made your way to the address. All day you felt like you were going to throw up, and you just had the feeling that things were going to be rough for awhile. You trembled as you reread the directions, you were almost there. You knew there wasn't anything to worry about. Both your heart and your instincts told you that. But you still felt nervous as you pulled up next to Derreks car, seeing him standing right next to it. You took in a deep breath as youturned your car off and got out.

"Hey, Derrek," you forced a smile on your face,

He turned the moment he heard your voice and smiled, "I knew you wouldn't ditch me,"

You rolled your eyes, "Listen, I'm nervous enough as it is, so I would like to get this evening overwith."

Derrek held his hands up in defense, "Hey, you wanted me to prove to you that I was serious about me changing." He bent over and picked up a basket, "Here you go,"

You stared at the basket, and then took a good look at where you were. Right in front of you, just like the last time, was a field of flowers as far as the eye could see.

"Oh Derrek," you gasped,

"Remember that night?" he asked, "When I first told you I loved you?"

You glared back at him, "Yes I do, and look at the load of bull that turned out to be,"

"De, please," he begged, "I don't want this to be like last night. I just want to catch up on whats been up. Nothing romantic, just two mature adults having a calm conversation,"

You looked around, "Two mature adults? I only see one,"

Derrek was getting annoyed, "Deana,"

You smiled, "Alright, I'll be nice,"

"Thank-you," Derrek extended his arm out towards the fields, "After you, my'lady,"

You laughed, "You haven't changed that much," and you walked in front of him, and a second after you regretted those words as you disappeared into the fields,