This Heart Still Feels

"And you just left him in the parking lot?" Teresa confirmed

You nodded sadly, "I'm surprised he didn't come charging after me,"

"And you haven't talked to him since?"

"No," you responded, "And it's been three days,"

"Ouch," Teresa commented,

"I know," you sighed, "I feel like shit. I should have never lied to him,"

"So you were going to just tell him the man that cheated on you came back and watched as Dan murdered him," Teresa said

You shook your head, "I don't know, but I know I should have done something different,"

"But either way it probably would have ended up something like this,"

"I know," you moaned, "It's all stupid Derreks fault,"

Teesa nodded, "Yeah, it is,"

You muttered, "I feel so helpless,"

"Do you think it's something serious?" Teresa asked after awhile of silence, "You and Dan, I mean,"

"If we don't talk soon it could be," you fell onto the couch, "Tree, I feel awful. How could I do this?"

"Oh honey," Teresa wrapped an arm around you, "Everything will be alright,"

"Then why do I feel like this is it?," you asked, "I fucking lied to him, Tree,"

"But it was for a good reason," she said, "Honestly, Dan freaked out a little more than I thought he would,"

You dropped your hands in despair, "What am I going to do?"

"Give it another day," Teresa suggested, "A little more time for the two of you to cool down so you can do more talking and less screaming,"

You chuckled, "You really think Dan will be ready by then?"

"If not by then, then maybe another day or two," she added, "Give it a little time, just try not to do anything with the guys, if you know what I mean,"

You laughed, "You know I wouldn't do that to him. I love him too much,"

Teresa grinned from ear to ear, "Awww, even when you're fighting you're still in love,"

You rolled your eyes, "Please, I'm not in the mood,"

...

It was almost a week since the fight, and you felt awful. You hadn't see or spoken to Dan since then, and you were slowly piling all of the blame on yourself. Though you didn't do anything, you couldn't blame Dan for being worried, or even a little jealous. But being the very stubborn girl you were, youy refused to talk to him until he came to you first. But as the days past, you grew more and more scared that he might not come to talk to you. Even Derrek, who had been comforting you since he heard about the fight, couldn't do much about it except just to be there for you. Teresa couldn't be around much due to her pregnancy, and Brie was always busy. You didn't mind her. She always asked if you were alright, and not wanting to ruin her plans you lied, saying you were fine.

Though you were deeply upset about everything that had happened, you didn't let it interfere with your life. You continued to go to school and did your final shows for Rent, but people could definetly tell you were pissed. Still, yoou shrugged it off as nothing and moved on. You and Dan needed some time to cool down before you could talk again.

You were sitting on your couch, curled up in a little ball with a blanket tightly wrapped around your cold body. For you it was extremely cold. It was alway cold for you lately. You were just about to drift off to sleep when the phone rang. You groaned. You didn't feel like talking to anyone today, but you answered the phone anyway.

"Hello," you groaned,

"You sound joyous," Derrek commented,

You chuckled, "Trust me, I'm more joyous than I sound,"

"Are you okay?"

"No," you answered, "I'm not,"

"Still upset?"

"Mmhmm,"

"This has been really tearing you up hasn't it?" Derrek stated,

You sighed, "Yeah, it has,"

"I feel awful,"

"Don't be,"

"No, I should," he persisted, "You guys are fighting all because of me."

"Derrek," you said calmly, "Please don't beat yourself up over this. Dan was just being causous. He knows what happened between us and he was worried about me,"

"That still doesn't help,"

"But it's the truth,"

"I'm going to make it up to you,"

"Derrek, please..."

"No, I insist," he interrupted, "I don't want you to be cooped up inside your apartment all day because you feel like crud," you laughed at his simile, "Get dressed. I'll pick you up in half an hour,"

And before you could protest he hung up. You rolled your eyes and pushed yourself off the couch to go get dressed. It only seemed like a few minutes before you heard the doorbell ring. You quickly brushed your hair before you ran to get the door, and there stood Derrek, dressing a little more casual then you expected.

You smiled, "Hey Derrek,"

He smiled shyly, "Hey, you ready?"

You grabbed your coat, "I'm ready,"

...

"And remember when we sneaked into the theater after you had the fight with your parents?"

You laughed, "Yeah, how could I forget? We nearly got caught by the manager."

Derrek sighed, "Those were some good times we had,"

You nodded, "Hey Derrek, Can I ask you something?"

Derrek nodded, "Sure, go ahead,"

"And you promise you'll be honest with me,"

He groaned, "I promise,"

You looked up at him with a serious stare, "Derrek, did you really come here on a photography assignment?"

Derrek looked shocked, "Deana, what would make you think-"

"Derrek," you stopped him, "Just answer the quesion. I won't be angry if you did,"

He stopped and sighed, "Okay, so I kinda lied,"

"What do you mean kinda?"

He hesistated, "I really did take up photography: almost two years ago,"

You felt just about ready to slap him, but held back the urge, "So you didn't come here on a photography assignment,"

Derrek shook his head, "No,"

You took in a deep breath, "Then why did you come here?"

He smiled as he inched towards you, "Because I really wanted to see you,"

"I don't understand,"

"De, remember when I said that I couldn't get you out of my mind after you left? You didn't think I was kidding, did you,"

"No," you replied, "But I thought you eventually got over me and moved on,"

Derrek shook his head, "I tried, believe me. But every time I did I found myself comparing everyone to you,"

You were growing scared, "What does that have to do with why you're here now?"

"It's the reason I came to see you," Derrek began, "De, before I decided to come here, all I could do for some reason was think about you."

"Derrek, you're scaring me,"

"You wanted to hear this," Derrek reminded you,

You took a step away, but as soon as you did Derrek pulled you back in and pressed you against him, "Deana, there's something you should know," He held you chin between his fingers and brought your face to his, then he slowly leaned over and kissed you. Your hands were shaking like crazy. You didn't know what to do. You knew you should push him away, but something was keeping your arms from scratching his face. As much as it hurt to admitt it, a part of you...enjoyed it. When Derrek finally pulled away, he gazed into your glazed eyes, "I think I've fallen in love with you again,"

You turned away, "I want you to take me home,"

He nodded sadly, "Yeah, I understand,"