This Heart Still Feels

You were glad when Derrek finally got to your apartment. You left without saying a word and ran to the door as quickly as you possibly could. You kept you head low and didn't even say a word so as not to notice the sad expression on his face. You went straight to your apartment without turning back, in fear that Derrek might still be there.

'This is insane,' you thought, 'He can't be in love with me. What can convince me he ever was after he cheated on me?' You shook your head, 'But I could see it in his eyes. It was the same eyes Dan gave me when he first told me,'

Hone sweet home was the first thing you thought when you found those three blissful numbers that marked your apartment. You fumbled with your keys, for your hands were still shaking and not just from the cold. Unlocking the door, you gave it a good kick and sent it swinging hard against the wall. You swiped off your jacket and threw it viciously to the floor.

"Brie," you called out as you shut and locked the door, "Brie, I need to talk to you. Badly,"

There was no reply.

"Brie," You repeated her name, this time checking her bedroom in case she had her headphones on. "Briana,"

"Great," you said to yourself, "She's not home,"

At that moment you saw a handwritten note left on the kitchen counter. You rolled your eyes as you went over and picked it up, having a good sense on what it was going to say.

Went on a date w/ Rupert
I'll be out late
Don't wait up for me

love Brie

"Shit," you cursed as you stormed to you bedroom, slamming the door once you were inside. You leaned back against the closed door and slid to the ground, burrying your head in your arms. You felt a little bit of tears swell up. "Please dear God, say I'm not falling back for Derrek," you prayed. You lifted your head and reach for the cordless phone, barely making it and slowly dialed for Teresa, shaking as you listened to the ring tones.

"Hey De," Teresa answered in her usual cheerful tone,

"Teresa," you quivered,

"De, what's wrong?"

"C-can you come over?"

"Honey what's wrong?"

"I can't tell you over the phone," you told her, "If you can't, I understand..."

"No, don't worry about it," Teresa insisted, "I'll be over there faster than you can say 'Tom is gay'"

"What?"

"I'll be over there soon," she said to you, and then hung up.

You hung up your phone and tossed it onto the bed, dropping your head once more. It didn't take Teresa long to get her. Of course being five months pregnant Oliver had to drive her there and help her up the stairs. You quickly washed your face so as not to alarm Oliver too much before you answered the door. As soon as he was gone, though, you broke down almost immedietly, telling Teresa every detail of what happened, from the talk to the kis and Derreks "undying love for you" and finally the long, silent trip home. By this time you were wanting to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Deana," Teresa held you tightly,

You shook your head, "Don't be silly. You didn't do anything,"

"I know, but I feel like I should have,"

You sighed, "Well it doesn't help,"

"I should have known Derrek was no good," Teresa growled

"He didn't do anything wrong either," You argued.

"Deana, he kissed you when he knew you were going out with Dan," Teresa stated, "That's a hands off,"

"I know, but-"

"He has absolutely no excuse for what he did!" She went on, "It's not like you were leading him on,"

You gulped, "Tree, I think I should tell you..."

"This is ridiculous," She went on, not paying attention to what you were saying,

"Tree, I should also-"

"I can't believe he would put you in a position like this where-"

"Tree, I know" you muttered, "but..."

"Deana, what is it?"

You hesitated, "This is really hard for me to say,"

"Deana, just spit it out," Teresa said, "You can tell me anything,"

"It still doesn't make it any easier to say," you paced away from Teresa,

"It's obviously something important,"

"It sure is," you mumbled,

"Deana, you obviously want to say it, so just come out with it,"

You looked over your shoulder "Alright," You took a deep breath as you turned away, "When Derrek kissed me, I didn't kiss him back," you stopped, "but I didn't exactly fight him either,"

Teresa just stared at you, "De, what are you say-" Her eyes widened, "Deana, are you saying you-"

"Not definetly," you snapped before she could finish, "But maybe,"

"Deana, this is insane," she raised her voice, "It takes you months to realize you are in love with Dan, and you've been with him for over a year. Derrek has been around for mere weeks and now you begining to think you're in love with him now?"

"I don't know!" you shouted, "Okay, I said I wasn't sure. All I know is that I look at him now and I see the same boy I was ready to love. Before he cheated on me. Sure he lied to me about his photography assignment, but I looked at him and it was the same gaze Dan gives me, so I know he feels it!"

"Are you sure?" Teresa asked,

You sighed, "Positive," you plopped down on the couch, "And that's what scares me the most."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know," you shook your head, "I honestly don't know."

"Are you going to tell Dan?"

You snapped up, "Of course I am," you said loudly, "With my luck that kiss will be in every newspaper and magazine by next week, and I am not going to have Dan find out that way,"

"How do you think he'll take it?" Teresa asked concerningly

"In my mind he'd appreciate that I was being honest with him and that I told him first this time," you specified, "But in all reality Dan will be mad as hell either way,"

"Oh honey," Teresa winced, "I'd hug you, but I'm afraid junior has grown quite a bit down here,"

You laughed as you patted her belly, "Four more months and you'll be back to normal,"

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "I remember the days of burping and feeding babies until my breasts hurt real well,"

You sighed,

"Don't worry, De," Teresa smiled, "Everything will work out and then," she pointed to herself, "this will be you,"

Your face stayed straight,

Teresa put a hand on your shoulder, "Like I said, everything will work out,"

"I hope so,"

Suddenly the door burst open, "Hey guys," Brie said cheerfully, carrying "the purse" and closing the door with her back, "I thought I said you didn't have to wait for me,"

"We've been talking," you said gloomly

Brie's face fell, "Is everything alright?"

Teresa turned to you, "Do you want to fill her in?"

You nodded slowly, "She deserves to know,"