This Heart Still Feels

"Hey De," Brie shook your bed,

"What," you groaned,

"It's almost nine thirty," she told you quietly, "You best be getting ready or you'll be late for school,"

You threw your pillow over your head, "I don't feel like going to school. I'm too depressed,"

"Come on, Deana," Brie said even louder as she yanked off the blanket, "If you want that diploma you have to work for it,"

"Five more minutes," you said from your pillow,

"Don't make me get the cold water like you did to me last month,"

You suddenly snapped up, "I'm up," you shouted

Brie walked out proudly. You groaned as you forced yourself out of you bed and walked out to the kitchen. You dragged your feet to the fridge and got out the milk. You got out some cereal and a bowl and poured yourself a bowl of cereal.

"Are you alright?" Brie asked as you got yourself a spoon.

You shook your head, "No, I'm not,"

"It's about Dan,"

You nodded

"How are you feeling?"

You sighed, "Confused, frightened, and unaware of what I should do,"

"Have you decided?"

"Not yet," you said before taking in a spoonful of cereal,

"Deana, it's been three days,"

"I know," you rolled your eyes, "I know that. But I don't want to make a bad decision. I need a little time,"

Brie nodded, "I know what you mean,"

You looked over at Brie, "Look," you said, "I know you don't like Derrek at all, and you're probably thinking I'm crazy for even comparing him to Dan,"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Brie muttered,

"But," you continued, "you have to believe me when I say he's changed. I may not have had good judgement back then, but I do now, and I can see that he's a new man. Do you believe me?"

Brie lifted her head up, "Not really," she smiled, "But I trust you to make the right decision,"

"At least someone does," you muttered, "I can't even have that much faith in myself,"

Brie got up and put an arm around her best friend, "I know whatever you do decide it will be the right one. You're smart,"

You chuckled, "But this still isn't easy,"

"Relax," Brie kissed your head, "Whatever happend, everything will turn out alright,"

"I hope so," you said

...

"Deana," Brie called for you later that day, "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

You walked out of your bedroom, "Yes, of course," you told her. You looked into the living room to see if she was there. When she wasn't you checked her bedroom, where yo found her packing her things into bags and suitcases with a nervous stare "What are you doing,"

She didn't reply

"Brie, are you alright?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head.

"Did I do something?"

She shook her head,

You were about to ask when you saw that she was gripping something very small in her fist. You went to reach for it when you realized you kind of already knew what it was, "Brie, is that..."

She opened her hands and held up the pregnancy test, "It's pink," she said lifelessly,

You put your hand over your mouth, "Oh honey,"

"I thought I was being careful, Deana," she quivered, "I didn't think one time would make a difference." She held up the test and stared at it, "But it did,"

"Brie, relax," you told her, "Everything is going to be alright. Don't panic,"

"Too late!" Brie shouted, clutching her head, "Deana, what am I going to do?"

You clutched her hands together, "For one, we are not going to tear out our hair," you ordered her, "And next you are going to calmly explain to me what happened,"

She gave you a weird look, "I got raped by a bear in the woods," she sneered, "What do you think happened,"

You glared, "I didn't mean that,"

"Well it's plain and simple. I had sex with Rupert,"

"For how long?"

Brie hesitated to answer, "Since September,"

"September!" you exclaimed, then caught yourself before you went on a rage, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you might freak out on me," she answered, making you a little bit guilty, "And besides, we were using protaction, and I was on the pill for awhile, so I didn't think it would matter. But after the first several times I stopped taking the pill." Brie paused, "And then last week I went out with him, and we didn't plan on doing it so I didn't feel like I needed to bring anything. But then we got to his house and we were kissing. Things got intense and next thing you know...we fucked." she shook her head, "I realized I was late, so I took the test today," she held up the test again, "and there were my results,"

"Have you told Rupert?"

"I told him it was maybe, but not definetly," Brie answered, "I just took the test now."

"When do you plan on telling him?"

"Soon," Brie said,

You looked at the half packed bags, "So what's with packing up your stuff,"

She turned to face you, "Deana, I'm afraid I've got news,"

You could tell by the seriousness of her tone this wasn't good, "What?"

Brie shifted in her seat to face you better, "Well, when I talked with Rupert about me being late, we decided to plan out on what we would do if I was pregnant. We agreed that if I was...I would move in with him, and we agreed that sooner would be better than later,"

There was a short silence,

"So you're telling me you're moving out?"

"I feel awful for doing this to you," Brie muttered, "I mean, you're in a rough situation where you need somebody and here I am packing my things and getting ready to leave you. And we worked so hard on my room, just to see it all go to waste and-"

"Brie!" you cut her off, "It's alright. I understand,"

She looke up at you, "You do?"

You nodded, "You've obviously given this a lot of thought, and..." you gulped down your disapointment, "It's great that you both are taking responsibility for this kid. If it's for the best, I support you all the way,"

Brie smiled and hugged you tightly, "Thanks Deana,"

You embraced her back,"Anytime," you muttered, burrying your sadness in her hair