This Heart Still Feels

It was like hell to watch Brie leave. The day after you got the news on her baby she called Rupert to let him know she was moving in. She decided to spend a couple more days in the apartment until she moved out for good, which the two of you spent doing the usual: movies, junkfood, and music's galore. It hurt on the final day knowing you would now be sharing the apartment alone, but all you could do was suck it up and help your best friend pack.

"And remember," Brie repeated for the umpteenth time, "If you ever miss me, you are always welcome to call or come over. I'm always available,"

"Even at three AM?" you asked childishly

"Knowing me I'll still be up then," Brie smiled. She quivered her lower lip and grabbed you in a tight embrace, "I'm gonna miss you so much!"

You smiled and hugged her with all your stregnth, "I'll miss you too," You looked over her shoulder to Rupert, who was standing close behind her, "And you better take good care of her," you patted her belly, "Both of them,"

Rupert smiled, "Don't worry, I will,"

You shot him a smile back, "Alright, then. I guess you two better get going."

Rupert reached over to claim whatever bags Brie wasn't holding and the two walked off to Ruperts car. As they drove off, Brie stuck her head out the window and waved. You stood in the middle of the parking lot and waved back until she was out of sight. Once they were gone, you dropped your head sadly and sighed, 'Now what am I going to do without her?' you thought to yourself, and at that moment, as if your prayers had been answered you felt you phone vibrate. Startled by the sudden vibration, you fumbled in your coat pocket until you found your phone and opened it to reveal a text message from Derrek:

Meet me at my place
It's time to make
a decision

love Derrek

Below he gave directions to his hotel room. You shuddered at the fact he used "Love," but flipped the phone shut and ran back to your apartment to get your keys. You searched around and finally found them sitting on the counter, and then stopped. All of a sudden you could hear Brie's voice speaking to you, as if she was still here.

You don't have to do this, she told you.

And this time, you took those words into consideration. You honestly didn't feel like you could make a final decision, and who was Derrek to tell you when it was time for an answer? You could wait however damn long you felt like. Smirking, you opened your phone and began your reply.

No, i'm not ready
for a decision.
If you have a
problem with that,
deal with it.

Your finger was just above the send button, but as you reread your message, you realized you couldn't do that to him. Derrek never did anything intentionally wrong. You groaned as you closed the phone once again. You didn't feel like the decision was final yet, but if not now you never would. Snapping back, you quickly grabbed the keys and headed out the door,

...

"Derrek!" you pounded on the door, "It's me, Deana,"

It was a short while until Derrek opened up, "Hey De," he smiled.

You stood there awkwardly, "Hey Derrek," you said softly,

He stepped aside, "Come on in," You stepped in, keeping your eyes glued to Derrek, "Don't try anything cute like the last time," you warned him, "or this time I will scratch your face off,"

Derrek shut the door, "Cool with me,"

You looked around his hotel room, "Nice place you got here,"

"Thanks," he grinned, "Though it's not mine,"

"Of course," you nodded. You looked over to his bed and saw a number of suitcases that were pre-packed, "Going somewhere?" you asked,

Derrek nodded, "Yeah, I've kinda been overstaying my welcome," he explained, "Hotel manager said I need to be out of here by tomorrow," He looked up at you, "Which is why I needed you to come today,"

"How long have you known about this?"

"A couple of days,"

"A coule of days," you repeated, "You knew you had to leave for a couple of days and you chose today to tell me you were leaving,"

"I was going to tell you," Derrek defended, "but I've been really busy,"

"Busy with your photography assignment?" you asked in a sharp sarcasm,

"Don't bring that up,"

"But you couldn't take one fucking minute out of your day to call and tell me you had to leave soon," you snapped,

"I'm sorry,"

"So you were just going to pack up and leave without telling me beforehand," you stated in a ticked off tone,

"I called you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, only the day before," you glared, "Derrek, you can't do that, especially when I need to make such a decision that concerns you. What if I had decided that I wanted you?"

At that moment Derreks eyes widened with joy, "You mean-"

"Not yet," you cut him off, "but let's say that in the end I had? You'd be leaving, and I'd be stuck here, away from you. What would you do then? Did you give that any thought at all?"

"Yes, I did," he said, "I was thinking that if that happened, you could...come back to the states with me,"

"Are you completely insane?" you asked him, "I can't move right now. I'm a year and a half away from getting my masters, AND I've got an audition for Wicked next week,"

"I thought Rachel Sanders was doing Elphaba?"

"She had to dropp out," you answered quickly, "but beside the point. If that weren't enough to keep me here, I've got a life. I have a good job, a good start off on my own, and great friends, who I wouldn't trade for the world,"

"But you'd get used to the U.S. again," Derrek insisted, "just like you got use to England,"

"I hated home," you growled, "And I love it here,"

"Then you wouldn't have to move," Derrek brought up another option, "I never said that I had to go back to the U.S. I could stay here and move in with you. I'm sure we could work something out with Brie,"

"Brie's not living with me anymore," you muttered

"Even better," he said, "You and I would have the place to ourselves,"

You shook your head, "I can't do that to Dan. You know that would hurt him,"

Derrek sighed, "Look, it doesn't matter what we would do, Deana." He stepped up closer to you, "All I know is that I love you, and you love me too. I can see it in your eyes. Whatever would happen we would get through because we had eachother. De, we're perfect for eachother," he kissed your head, "And we could do whatever you wanted, just as long as I could have you,"

You looked into his eyes. The love he felt was real, just as real as his words, "That's very sweet," you said softly, "but I still haven't decided,"

Derrek stepped back a couple steps and sat on the bed, "Well, like I said, I'm leaving tomorrow, so you need to chose soon. Is it me, or him?"