This Heart Still Feels

Things were going pretty well for Dan and I. At this point we had only been living together for almost two months, and I couldn't ask for a better person to live with. For the rest of the summer, Dan and I were nearly inseperable, except when I had a show to do. By the end of August, however, my contract for the show expired, and that left us a little more time together until I started school again.

"It feels so good to be back," I sighed as I walked up the stairs with Teresa,

Teresa gave out a sigh of her own, "Yeah, I have to admitt, I was ready for school to start again,"

"I know," I agreed, "But then again, I actually like school,"

"Then again," she added, "Everything you study has to do with theater,"

I smiled, realizing she was right, "Very true,"

"Well, enjoy it while it lasts, Ms. Senior," Teresa commented with a smile, "'Cause after this, there will be no more school for you,"

"Yeah," I grinned, "It's that time again, isn't it,"

Teresa nodded, "You're gonna be kept pretty busy, with school, and Dan, and the auditions..."

"Wait a minute," I stopped her, "What auditions?"

"Beauty and the Beast," She reminded me, "You said you were going to audition for the show in November,"

I let out a gesture of understandment, "Yeah," I stretched out the word, "I decided not to do the show,"

"Why not?"

I shrugged, "Like you said. Senior year is going to keep me really busy, and if I try and do a show on top of that I'll barely have any time for my own husband,"

Teresa gave out a concerned look, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah," I told her, "Why do you ask?"

She shot me her famouse, smart ass look, "Because Deana, the stage is your life. You never back out of a show once you say you'll do it, no matter how busy your life gets,"

I gave out a shrug, "I guess things have changed,"

She shot me a suspicious glare, "It just seems like there's something else to it,"

I looked away without a reply, and once Teresa realized what I was thinking, she bugged me for information.

"Deana," Teresa walked in front of me, "What's going on,"

I took in a deep breath, "I don't know," I said, "I'm just a little worried."

Teresa's face filled with more confusion, "Worried about what?"

I found it more hard than ever to find the right words, "About everything," I answered, "with this marriage,"

Teresa's eyes widened, "You're not having regrets about Dan, are you?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "Dan is absolutely wonderful,"

"Then what's the matter?"

I groaned, "It's just, everythings changed since we got married,"

Teresa shook her head, "I don't understand,"

I grabbed her hand at led her to the fountain to take a seat, "It's just, everything was so simple before," I explained, "and now, you never know what's going to happen,"

"I still don't know where you're going with this,"

I let out a long breath to think of how to explain this to her, "Put it this way," I said when I thought of something to say, "The way things are going between Dan and I, one day I'll be carrying piles of homework, and the next I could..." I leaned in and in a soft tone I said, "I could be carrying a little bundle of joy,"

Teresa pulled back with her jaw dropped, "You don't mean you're pregnant already, do you?"

"No," I shook my head, answering almost immediatly, "But like I said..."

"You two are going at it a lot, aren't you?"

"Not a lot," I corrected her, "Just frequently,"

"Give me a number,"

I looked up and thought about it for a moment, "Maybe two or three times a week,"

Teresa took my hand, "Sweetie, if you're so worried about this, why haven't you told Dan? You know he would back off if you asked him,"

"But I'm not worried," I admitted,

Despite the fact I was looking away from her at this point, I could still feel a grin growing on her face,
"Are you saying you want to have a baby?"

I shrugged despairingly, "I don't know," I said, "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I'm not really sure," I groaned, "I mean, my mom always told me that if I wanted to succeed in my broadway career, then I had to waituntil I was thirty five to have kids, and despite how much that sounded like her not wanting me to get laid, it made sense. But then again,"I sighed as I dropped my head in my hands, "It might be nice to have a child," I groaned out even louder in fustration, "I'm so confused,"

I felt Teresa's hand stroke my back, "I don't know what to tell you,"

I snapped my head up almost instantly, "What's life like with Jeffery?" I asked desperetly,

Teresa smiled at the sound of his name, "It's alright, I guess," she told me, "Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of work, but most of the time I don't mind it at all," She seemed to beam even more with every moment, "And as long as your husband helps, it not so bad," Her face fell before turning back to face me, "I'm not really helping, am I,"

"That's an understatement," I chuckled,

"I'm sorry," she apologized,

"It's okay," I said, "I guess I just need to sit back, and let whatever happens, happen,"

"Which is perfectly fine," Teresa comforted me, "And if anything does happen, you'll be done with school by the time you have a baby,"

"If I have a baby,"

"You will," Teresa put her arm around me, "Someday,"