This Heart Still Feels

The moment I woke up the next morning I wanted to go back to sleep. Just to sleep and never wake up, eventually Dan rolled over and reminded me of my doctors appointment. While I was being questioned by the police the day of my rape, I was advised to go see a doctor for precautionary reasons. That only scared me even more, but I would have rather found out I had something now then later.

The car ride there was pretty silent. Dan and I had said everything we needed to say to eachother the night before, so pretty much anything else either of us could say would just make me feel worse. Dan kept his eyes on the road, and I just stared out the window. Arriving there, I was a bit relieved to be talking to someone else. Even if it was about the same thing, at least it was with someone who could help me.

"Do you have any suspicions of Derrek carrying any STD's?" The nurse asked me ask she went through her check up,

"I'm don't know," I answered, "I mean, I know he's slept with a lot of girls in the past, but as far as recently goes, I'm not sure,"

"Have you had sexual contact with any other person?"

"Well, there's Dan," I said pointing to my husband, who sat in a chair across the room,

"And have you been having sex frequently?"

I nodded,

The nurse gave me a serious look, "Anyone else?"

I looked down, so to avoid her gaze, along with Dan's, "There was one more,"

The nurse picked up her clipboard, "Name?"

I shut my eyes tightly, "Jim...Jim Hensworth,"

I listened to the pen scribble across the paper. When I opened them again I saw her hold up a needle. "I'm going to need a blood sample so that we can do some tests to make sure you don't have anything," She held up my arm. I looked away so as not so see, and unfortunetly my gaze landed right on Dan, who was looking even more miserable than before. My head fell as the nurse finished.

"I will go drop this off in the lab," The statement made me feel like I was a guinea pig in an experimental lab, "Your doctor will come by with some medication to prevent the growth of any infection." She seemed so calm as she left.

As soon as the nurse was gone, Dan stood right back up and stepped forward to me, "He did too," It wasn't a question.

I nodded, "Yeah," I lifted my head up, "I guess I'm just a little rape mat, right?"

Dan ignored my little attempt at a joke. "Deana, why didn't you ever say anything?"

I shook my head, "The man fucking stalked me Dan," I cursed, "I thought it would have been obvious,"

His lip quivered as he reached over and held me tight, "I'm so sorry," He said, despite my request from last night not to.

I ignored it anyway. Instead I just held him by the waist just as tightly as he did. "I'm scared, Dan," I admitted,

"Me too," he whispered before he kissed my head. "Me too,"

I let out a long sigh, "What are we going to do?"

Dan pulled away and kneeled down so that he was level with me, "I don't know," He answered, "But we're going to think of something, I promise. We'll get through this together,"

I reached over and touched his cheek, "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you,"

He smiled and held my hand, "I love you more,"

A while afterward, my doctor, Doctor Berns, came in, holding up a a manilla folder with my name on it. Short, almost shaven hair, and a clean face, he was a man of his forties, tall and lean.

"Doctor Berns," I addressed him, "Have you gotten any results?"

"Not yet," He shook his head, "As a matter of fact, we probably won't be getting any information until tomorrow at the earliest,"

I leaned on the edge of my seat anxiously, "Will you be able to tell before the trial?"

"Maybe," He opened the folder, and with his other hand reached into the pocket of his doctors jacket, "Now until we do see some results, I want you to take this," he handed me a bottle of medicine, "About two times a day. Even if there's nothing wrong with you, I still want you to take the medicine until you've finished the bottle,"

"And if there is something wrong?" I asked. Dan sent me a scolding look,

"We'll give you a new medicine to treat it," Doctor Berns explained tome, "But until then, I want you to get plenty of rest..."

"Yeah, I know the drill," I rolled my eyes, "Plenty of rest, eat right, I got it,"

He smiled, "I'm sure you'll be fine. You're a very healthy woman,"

I nodded, "Thanks Doc,"

Dan walked over to help me off the chair. I wanted to keep my gaze away from him, but I felt his fingers slide underneath my chin, and my head shifted to face him, "Everything's going to be fine,"

I nodded, "I hope so,"