Summer Skies and Ocean Eyes

For being such a seemingly petite girl, Kendall sure could sprint. Even with my longer, conditioned legs, I was no match for her random Speedy Gonzales talent. She caught me off-guard as we rounded the kitchen table and she shifted into Mach Five.

I was fueled by my anger, while she was only running based on her surging fear. It was like a more primal version of Animal Planet as I trampled after her, running into things along the way.

The space between us grew, and by the time we thundered up the stairs, she had barely enough room to slam her door right in front of my nose. I dug my heels into the hardwood floors to stop myself from face-planting it. Grabbing the doorknob with both hands, I jiggled it in hopes the lock would break so that I could properly strangle the girl.

“Kendall!” I shrieked in a voice I was otherwise unaware I had in me, taking a break from the doorknob to menacingly slam the palm of my hand against her door.

“Stop! You’re going to break it!” She wailed from the other side, voice muffled. Kendall couldn’t see me, but I gave her a death glare I sure hoped she could feel.

“Well that’s exactly what’s going to happen if you don’t give me my clothes back!” I hissed, spitting my words at the shiny wood. I didn’t think I had ever felt this kind of agitation before. It was starting to appear that the “new” period of my life in Naples was melding into “ordinary.” Kendall and I weren’t awkward around each other anymore, but that left room for a new kind of interaction.

The pissed-off kind.

Ever since Kendall’s internship had started, she had been sneaking into my dresser and taking outfits. At first, I didn’t care. But then, one day she returned with my junior year’s homecoming shirt stained with fish chum. It was one of my favorites, I had been on the committee that designed it.

So, I had cut her off, thinking that was that.

Until I noticed other shirts missing, one by one. Today I had wanted to find my shirt from freshman year on the soccer team, another one of my favorites, and it wasn’t in my room. I had folded and put it away last night.

“They aren’t even nice!” Kendall whined, scared of my looming presence. “Let Dad buy you some new clothes so that I actually have something grubby to wear while I’m working.”

I was about to scream something not-so-ladylike at the door before I felt fingertips brush against my shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Mom asked, peering back and forth between myself and the closed door. Pursing my lips with vigor, I gulped down the words that were violently thrashing to get out of my throat.

“Kendall. Took. My shirt.” I had to split the sentence into fragments to keep my voice even.

“You guys are fighting?” she airily asked, tucking a strand of wavy hair back into her loose bun.

“Yes.” I thrust a fist against the door as a sharp reminder to Kendall that I was still standing there, and I was still going to kill her. As I looked back at my mom, I was surprised to see her smiling as she crossed her willowy, tan arms.

“You and Kendall are fighting.” She said it as a statement, like this was somehow entertaining. I frowned.

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She happily breathed out, planting a solid kiss on top of my head. “You guys are just like sisters.”

A sharp pang of annoyance shot through me as I realized she wasn’t concerned with the injustice of the whole situation. Was she not aware that Kendall was attempting to ruin my life?

Okay. So maybe not ruin my life. Living here had made me a little dramatic.

“What’s going on?” Jon poked his head out of his room. It figured he would choose this moment to join in, after all of the pounding and yelling had stopped.

Mom traipsed to him, slinging her arms lovingly around his torso. “The girls are fighting.”

Pleadingly, I looked at Jon. Surely he would be the sane one, and I could get my shirt back. Instead, he chose to look down at my mom in a completely infatuated way, amused with her lightheartedness. Until I not-so-discreetly cleared my throat.

“Oh, right,” Jon said, crashing back to earth. He let go of Mom, joining me at the door before firmly knocking against the wood two times. “Kendall Joy, unlock the door, please.”

An angst-ridden scoff sounded off from the other side, but Kendall knew better than to defy her dad. The lock clicked, then opened a sliver. Kendall’s wide, green eye peered cautiously out at us, gauging the situation. Once she saw that her dad was standing between us, she opened the door the rest of the way.

“Good. Now please give Calico her shirt-”

“Shirts,” I corrected him, refraining from launching myself at her.

“-her shirts back,” Jon finished. Kendall pouted though she knew there was no room for argument. Turning her back on us, she disappeared into her room, emerging seconds later with a pile of my things in her arms.

Both of us were quiet through the glaring exchange. “Thank you,” Jon said for me, “And I’ll give you some money to buy some shirts at Salvation Army tomorrow for work clothes you can get dirty.”

Kendall’s plump lower lip jutted out as she nodded, like she didn’t deserve to have my shirts taken away from her. I bit back the word “Baby.”

“What’s going on? Did Calico beat up Kendall?” Griffin scrambled up the stairs, excited at the thought. Jon smiled, walking past his son and shuffling a big hand through his nest of hair.

“Not yet, maybe another day,” he chuckled. Crestfallen, Griffin walked past and went to his room as Mom and Jon went down the stairs. Kendall shot me a dirty look before slamming the door in my face once again.

Alone in the hallway, holding on to my clothes, I had the oddest realization.

This was what having a full family was like. Weird.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Snorkeling off the coast of Naples on a wildlife reservation was like swimming in an ad for a tropical vacation. Even with my ability to hold my breath longer than anyone else, I still found myself pushing my limits to stay immersed in the ocean for just a couple more seconds.

Poot’s mom, Mrs. Michaels, and her friend, had been the one who made Poot’s plan possible. They had taken us to a reef called Tea Cup Ledges. It was composed of soft coral reef that dropped off into little Grand Canyons that were big enough for a person or two to swim through. I had originally been picturing something bright and colorful like the Great Barrier Reef, but wasn’t disappointed with what this had turned out to be.

Enjoying the way the water cut across my body as I kicked my flippered-feet, I swam above a group of little blue fish. They darted around in a clump, never straying. As they shot into a crevice in a patch of light bubblegum pink coral, I smiled to myself—something difficult to accomplish with a snorkel in my mouth—and looked to the side to see Juan and Emily exploring a bit of the deeper, more open water about twenty feet away.

Feeling the stretch in my chest worsen, I went back up for some air. As I broke through the surface, I took the snorkel out of my mouth, moving the goggles to my forehead.

“Ah! Nice of you to join us above the water.”

Poot’s teasing voice came from behind me as I slowly dragged the warm air into my lungs. I felt like I had just ran a sprint, and needed some time to recuperate. I turned to see Poot and Tommy, bobbing in the water with their goggles still on.

Unfortunately, the snorkels weren’t inserted, meaning they could still talk.

“Tell me, when did you grow gills?” Tommy asked. I apathetically sniffed, striding my legs beneath the water to keep myself afloat. The rubber fins made me feel powerful and agile.

“You’re jealous that I kick your ass when it comes to holding breath.” I mentally stuck my tongue out at him as I put my goggles back on. My heart was starting to beat normally again, and I was eager to get beneath the pressure of the water again.

“Right. Because it’s such a cool thing to be good at.” Tommy was definitely unimpressed.

“Hey, before you go back under, we were trying to get people out so we could ear,” Poot said, swimming toward me. I didn’t like the idea of getting out of the ocean as I looked to the shore where others were starting to congregate around Mrs. Michaels and her friend. They were basically the leaders of today’s adventure.

“Fine, but only for a little bit,” I compromised, then swam past him to reach the rocky ledge that dropped off into the water like a mini-cliff. Tommy followed as Poot went to get the few remaining stragglers, and the two of us lifted out of the water onto the rock with loud gushing noises.

“So,” Tommy said as we sat on the ledge, both of us taking off our flippers and goggles. They slurped as the suction changed, water drained off and ran to the sun-dried rock. “I’m guessing you’re having a good time.”

I smiled, feeling the heat of the sky bake at my skin. “It’s amazing down there. I should have gone snorkeling a long time ago.”

Tommy’s lips softly curved, eyes warm. My stare lingered too long on his. Without thinking, I reached over and placed a kiss on his lips. At least, I tried to.

To my surprise, as soon as my mouth neared his face, Tommy jerked his head to the side like he was looking the other way. My lips contacted the area right below his ear. His shaggy hair brushed against my nose before I clumsily pulled my head back, wondering what had happened.

As Tommy grouped his snorkeling gear in one hand, he stood to his feet. All I could do was stare, confused. Had I just been rejected?

He took in our surroundings, as if making sure no one witnessed my sad attempt of a kiss. I followed his gaze, the others were unconcerned with Tommy and I right now. Poot, Emily, and Juan were climbing onto the rock further down the ledge, and everyone else was starting to get their food together.

“Wha-” It crashed and burned the moment it left my lips. It figured that he could kiss me whenever he wanted, but when I went for it, it was practically against the law. Maybe something had happened between that last kiss and today, though I couldn’t figure out what, for the life of me.

Tommy opened his mouth, grimaced, then made a quick exit for the food.

All I could do was bewilderedly sit there as I played it over in my mind. I lifted a cupped hand to my mouth, puffing a breath into that smelled like toothpaste and ocean water.

My heart was sinking at an incredibly gutting rate as I wrapped my arms around myself. I hadn’t felt so self-conscious since middle school.

“Hey Cal!” Poot called from where he had emerged from the ocean. He saw something was wrong from the distance he was at, then jogged over to me. His feet fwapped against the rocky ground like a duck’s before he stopped and examined my face. Squinting his eyes, he lowered his head. “You okay?”

I pressed my tongue impatiently against the roof of my mouth, looking to where Tommy was talking with Mrs. Michaels. The embarrassment gradually started to turn into a burning annoyance as I felt a flush fill me. He was always playing games: always putting himself first.

I would have settled for some explaining, but no. He had to run off like a wimp and leave me to sit here like a poor, rejected loser who truly couldn’t understand what happened.

“Yeah,” I grunted, standing and starting to hastily put my hair into a ponytail.

Poot followed the trial of where my eyes were shooting death glares, then cleared his throat. “Did Tommy-?”

“Let’s get some food,” I dejectedly muttered, leaving my snorkeling gear to dry out as I grabbed Poot’s hand and tugged him to the food setup.

“Dare I ask?” He sounded unsure as we came to a halting stop where all the sandwiches, vegetables, and fruit pizza were resting on a folded out table. I shot him a terse look before snatching a paper plate and piling food on top of it. Poot raised his eyebrows, nodding before picking up his own plate. “Guess not.”

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

“Are you mad?” Tommy asked, swimming up to me as I came up for air. He probably couldn’t tell through the snorkeling mask and tube in my mouth, but I was frowning at him. As if to answer his question, I puffed an eruption of water out of the snorkel and dove back beneath the surface.

I went as deep as I could, my stomach scraped against the rock of the bottom as I leisurely swam away from Tommy. After eating, everyone else was on the beach part of the shore, playing catch or looking for shells. They had lost interest in snorkeling, while I still felt like I was just getting started.

A shadow fell over me, I looked up to see Tommy treading water above me, practically matching me stroke for stroke.

I let out an impatient sound as I looked up at his silhouette, causing a couple bubbles to spurt from my snorkel and gurgle their way to the surface. Frowning so hard it was starting to hurt my face, I kicked myself up, following the bubbles up.

As soon as I hit the air, I indignantly took my goggles and mouth piece completely off, letting it thwack against the surface.

“See? I knew you’d have to eventually come up for air.” His voice had a lightness to it as if he hoped that would be enough for me to forgive him. I wished that I could get enough propulsion through the water to send a good kick his way.

“What do you want, Tommy? To me it seemed like you wanted some space. So, I gave you space,” I hissed, water on my lips spraying forward. Tommy was unaffected by it hitting his face. His shaggy hair was pressed against his head, waving down to where it practically touched his eyelashes.

“Calico, the thing is that I don’t think that us kissing each other in front of...others is that good of an idea.” He managed to shrug while treading water. I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

“Why would you say that?” I thought that a guy who had kissed me like he had before wouldn’t mind a quick peck on the lips.

“I don’t know what I want, Calico. You know I have a lot going on right now,” Tommy said, talking to me like I couldn’t understand that two plus two equaled four. I looked off to where the others were on the sand. I could faintly see Emily and Juan standing by the shore, laughing while leaning against each other.

“Let me get this straight: you want to kiss me, but only when no one else is looking.”

Judging by the look on his face, that was exactly what Tommy wanted, but he didn’t like the way I was phrasing it. “Well, yeah. I really like you, Calico. A lot. I just don’t-”

“Do you have any idea how degrading that is?” I exclaimed, causing a couple birds sunbathing in the shallows behind us to flee. Tommy’s face went blank. “You’re asking me to be your Just Desserts!”

Tommy looked over his shoulder to see if I had disrupted anyone else with my yelling.

“What do you mean?” he asked with perturbed exasperation. I pursed my lips, probably looking crazed with my hair plastered against the odd shape of my head, and eyes wide as I tried to figure out what was going through this asshole’s head.

“Like there’s no substance to our relationship: no dinner. None of the healthy things that are good for you. Hence, dessert. I really don’t mind only being your friend, Tommy-” A lie. “-Like right now I want to rip your head off and feed it to the fish, but unfortunately, I actually do like you and would probably regret it later. But if you still want me as a friend, then don’t hit of me unless you want that kind of relationship,” I rambled, venting what had been stirring inside me since I got a mouthful of his hair.

Tommy was quiet in thought as both of us tread water, then he paddled closer. “I don’t want things to get complicated.” He gave me one of those gorgeous, tortured looks—it would have worked had it not been for the fact that I knew he was trying to use it as a weapon. I gnashed my teeth, splashing him violently in the face before I could get any other ideas.

“Asshole. Like that would make anything less complicated. Seriously, I’m not going to play your games anymore. I won’t be like one of those girls you hook up with at parties. I’m not like that.”

After my final word, I turned as sharply as I could in the water, grabbed my snorkeling gear from where it floated a foot away, then kicked toward the section of the beach where everyone else was.

The rest of the afternoon passed by far too fast. Though I had done my best with dodging Tommy, the kick-ass feeling of telling him off was starting to turn into worry as I wondered if I had been too hard on him. Not like I would tell him that, though.

We had originally intended to start a bonfire, but the heat of the sun was still lingering like a thick blanket over the beach by the end of the day. Any added warmth would have cooked us to death: I was already feeling like a baked potato as the summer reached its peak. The air was so thick, it felt like I was simmering to a boil by simply standing outside.

Instead, the group settled on draping our legs over the ledge of the rock, tapping and swishing our feet into the water as we watched the sun set. It was odd to be sitting by the ocean like that with a lot of other people, instead of only the usual Jerk Face and me.

“Mind if I sit here?” Speaking of which...

Still bristled, I looked up at Tommy. I was starting to think that maybe I never was going to fully figure him out, or reach him the way I wanted to. If he wanted to be distant, I would let him be distant.

I’m not going to let him kiss me anymore, I thought with defiance, ignoring the small pinch of doubt that was clipped to the end. Out loud, I said, “You can do whatever you want, Tommy.” Lindsay and Brandon looked our wear, interest piqued by my tone.

Tommy squirmed uncomfortably, giving me a look that would qualify as Puppy Dog. Locking my jaw, I focused on the ocean.

With an old sigh, he sat beside me, shoes scraping against the rock as he crossed his legs. He picked up a loose shard to the ledge and uneasily passed it between his hands. “Cal, I-”

“Tommy, I don’t feel like arguing right now,” I clipped, cutting him off. Poot cleared his throat from my left side, looking at an invisible watch on his wrist before getting to his feet.

“Well look at that, time for more fruit pizza,” he cheesily announced, patting Emily’s shoulder from where she sat. “Come on, Em.”

Emily raised an eyebrow at Poot, then pointedly looked at Tommy and I. “But I don’t want-”

“Let’s go,” Poot grabbed her arm and pulled Emily up like a stuffed animal before jarringly walking away with her in tow. Tommy and I awkwardly sat in silence, trying to pretend like Poot actually wanted to get some more fruit pizza. Which everyone knew there was nothing left of.

I watched the gold light bouncing off the rippling waves, swishing my legs back and forth in the water. The sky and ocean were beginning to turn a musty shade of pink, warming up slowly for the explosion of colors that was going to happen soon.

“I can’t think of a way to say this,” Tommy said quietly, turning his head toward me. I avoided his gaze, knowing he’d probably gain some sympathy points with me if he caught me with his eyes.

“Then don’t say anything.” I was being difficult, not much above his level of childishness. Tommy tossed the rock into the water, making a glurp noise as a small shock of water bounced up from the impact.

“Fine,” he snipped. Our of the corner of my eye, I saw him moving. It became harder and harder to ignore him when I was so curious about what he was doing. Not able to control myself, I looked over to see Tommy removing his gray zip-up hoodie. Shooting his stare at me, he set his brow as he clumped it into a ball in his hands, then shoved it against my shoulder.

“What?” I asked, shrugging away as he used it like a soft weapon, continuing to lightly hit. As he gently beat me with the hoodie, others started looking over to see what was going on. I was only vaguely aware of the new stares while trying to avoid Tommy’s next jab.

“Take it,” he ordered, pressing it against my face when hitting didn’t work. I let out a muffled sound of surprise and went to push it away, but he dropped it in my hands before I could. Some of my hairs statically stuck to my forehead and cheeks as I looked down at the worn piece of fabric, then back at him.

“Why?” I wasn’t even thinking about keeping my voice quiet anymore.

Tommy rolled his eyes, bobbing his head back before shooting me an annoyed look. “You told me not to say anything, so I’m showing you.”

“Show me what? A beat up hoodie way past its glory days?” I retorted, holding up the clothing in a ball. Truthfully, it was soft to the touch, and smelled like dryer sheets and faint cologne: exactly like Tommy. But I wasn’t going to let him know that.

“How stupid are you? I’m giving it to you, to show that I like you, and I don’t care who knows. Take it or leave it.” To anyone else, it would have sounded like he didn’t care, but I knew him well enough to hear the nerves shake in the back of his voice. It made me stop, fingers pressing against the hoodie as I stared at him.

Now everyone was watching, which Tommy was painfully aware of. He shuffled his fingers through his hair, forcing himself to look at me as he took in a deep breath of ocean air. My throat tightened as my heart started to melt like chocolate left in a hot car.

He wiggled his feet against the rock, saying in a more soft, careful voice, “And I don’t think of you as one of those girls I’ve hooked up with. I look at you...different, than them. You’re an idiot for thinking that.”

The pads of my fingertips grazed the zipper as I bit my lip. This was truly Tommy putting himself out there, by shoving a hoodie in my face and calling me an idiot. But, as I felt a goofy smile threaten my lips, I couldn’t help but accept it.

“So there,” Tommy said to fill the silence of what he had been probably hoping would be my reply, looking away from me. “That’s it. I guess.”

He crossed his arms with finality, nodding to himself. I pulled the hoodie against my stomach, wrapping my arms around it as I looked straight ahead.

“Thank you.” The two of us, along with the audience we had collected along the way, were silent. Finally, after waiting long enough, the others lost interest and got back to their conversations.

I wanted to say something to him as the two of us stared at the horizon: words that would let him know exactly how I felt. As per usual, nothing came to mind. Gulping, I risked a look at him, watching the side of his face. His hair blew, wavy and mussed from air-drying with the ocean water in it. My eyes traced down the lines that made up his nose, his pink lips, his chin, and his long neck before it sloped into his chest and disappeared into his shirt.

Letting go of the hoodie with my right hand, I smoothed my fingers over the soft skin of his palm. Tommy surprised me by instantly gripping his fingers against mine, like he had been waiting for me to do that this whole time. Shyly watching him, I saw a small parenthesis frame a corner of his mouth.

The strong pressure of his grip was heartening as I looked away. Neither Tommy or I were all that great when it came to talking, but for once, I felt like that was completely okay.

And together, we watched the sun set.