Summer Skies and Ocean Eyes

“Hey,” I faintly greeted, standing beside Tommy’s motionless body. My eyes were stuck to his moonlit face as I stared up at him. He had been all over my life without me having to see him lately, from the woman at the country club to Emily as she laid on my bed.

“Hi,” he snipped in a short breath, putting his hands into the pockets of his cargo shorts. Tommy didn’t look at me: he kept his eyes trained on the rolling black waves.

He felt my eyes on him, turning his head only an inch to see me out of the corner of his eye. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Good question.” I said each word like I was laying a piece of a puzzle. Tommy fully faced me so I could receive a harsh frown. I thought about what Emily said earlier today, and silently agreed that if he still looked beautiful when glaring, he must look gorgeous when grinning.

“Okay. So now that neither of us have been budging when it comes to this whole ‘beach at night’ thing, we need to lay some ground rules,” he ordered, squinting his eyes at me. I tried to give him as hard of a look as he was sending, but it was impossible as my hair continued to fly messily into my face.

“Fine.” I pinned back my bangs with a bobby pin that was stored in my pocket. Tommy was leaning over me, arms crossed in an attempt to look intimidating. Now that my hair was out of the way, I could return his gaze--not like it looked to effect him at all. “Let me hear it.”

“One.” He held up a long pointer finger. “No staring at each other.”

“You’ve really thought this through,” I sneered.

“Two,” he continued, ignoring what I said, “We don’t talk.”

“Fine,” I shot back again. I couldn’t help but be distracted by how close he was hovering over me. Tommy’s breath was minty as it bounced off my face. To cover up that thought, I decided to add “How about we agree to sit on opposite ends of the beach? Then we won’t even have to see each other.”

Tommy locked his jaw, shifting his weight in an impatient way. “We don’t have to go that far.”

“What do you mean? You obviously don’t want anything to do with me, so we might as well draw a line in the sand to separate the beach,” I voiced, holding out my arms then letting them fwap against my sides.

“You’re being-”

“What? What am I being?” I asked with fervor. Tommy’s eyes angrily narrowed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t-”

“You weren’t what?”

“Would you shut up for five seconds?” he exclaimed in complete disbelief. His outburst caused me to swallow my words, giving me a moment to question why I had been so snappy out of nowhere. Maybe it was some pent-up feelings about the kid beside me. After catching my momentum again, I found the words to say.

“Why? Because you aren’t making any sense.” A silence fell between us, digging so deep that not even the cry of seagulls or rush of waves could fill it. I could see Tommy’s gaze flick back and forth down the beach as he tried to think of a proper answer.

“Maybe...I kind of like having someone to sit by.” He said it in a squished sentence, leaving no pause between his rushed words.

“Whaaat?” Was he actually admitting that he didn’t despise my presence? I had no evidence that could suggest otherwise.

Tommy also looked like his mind was pulling a blank as he blinked down at me. His mouth parted a crack as if he couldn’t believe what had come out of it: heart-shaped face twisting unhappily.

“I...there’s-” he stuttered, looking at our surroundings like it would help him come up with something to say. “I like. Sitting. You know. With yo- well, I’m not saying only with you, but...with, with someone. It’s nice. To sit. With-”

“Someone,” I finished for him, raising an eyebrow. Tommy puffed out his lips, giving an undignified nod.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, trying to gain his composure back as if it was a completely normal, manly thing to say. They way his hair was rumpled gave him a softened look, and my heart melted the tiniest fraction. It was the very first time I found Tommy a smidge endearing.

“Okay, let’s sit,” I blurted, plopping in the sand before he had a chance to reply. He hesitated, then lowered himself to the ground as he let out a powerful breath of air.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested my chin on top of them. I couldn’t understand why I felt almost...pleased that he had admitted liking having someone to sit by. Of course, I knew that didn’t necessarily mean he liked me, but at least my presence to him wasn’t as annoying as I previously thought.

“Why are only one of your toenails painted?” Tommy asked. When I looked over, he was staring at my foot in a perplexed way. Embarrassed, I tucked my toes into the sand, flipping my hair in a callous way.

“Uh, Tommy? You’re breaking rules one and two right now. You know, no staring or talking.” It probably wasn’t best to shove his own rules in his face, but I wasn’t going to let him win. Whatever winning would be in this situation.

His lips twitched, but the he shook his head and put his hoodie up before I could see if he smiled or not.

“Right, sorry about that.”

“Don’t let it happen again.” I tried to sound as strict as he had when he recited the new rules.

Then, for the first time, I heard him chuckle. “You’re dumb, Calico.”

I nodded, stunned by his reaction. What was going on tonight? I didn’t know whether I liked or disliked Tommy, but it was going to be interesting finding out which one it was.

After about an hour of not talking, listening to the rhythmic laps of the water on the shore, I stood to my feet and brushed the excess sad off my butt. I was sad to be leaving the comfortable setting.

“As always, it’s been a blasty-blast.” I waved and walked away. He didn’t waste a breath in reply.

My flip-flops clapped noisily against the pavement as I reached the road. Looking down and watching my feet in motion, I was engulfed with curious thoughts about Tommy.

A bright light slashed in front of me, making me jerk my head up and fail to access my instinct to run. Part of me knew it was a car coming without having to see the vehicle, so I almost peed my pants as I squished my eyes shut, uselessly pushed my hands in front of me, and waited for the end.

Because people don’t think very normal things before they’re about to die, I wondered how long it would take them to scrape me off the pavement. They’d say “Stupid girl, walking in the road in the middle of the night. Darwin’s Natural Selection at its finest.”

Except that life-ending hit my muscles had been bracing myself for never came. An engine whirred, a door unlocked and opened. There was a pause, then someone said “Calico?”

Blinking my eyes in the bright headlights like a mole seeing the sun for the first time, I lowered my hands. Guess the car hadn’t been speeding toward me like I imagined.

A blur of black stepped toward me, not coming into focus until he lingered outside the glow of the headlights. It was Poot, hair catching the light and looking like a halo around his head.

Something was wrong, I knew it in an instant. There was a line between his eyebrows that I’d never seen before: his lips were tugged downward as his eyes searched me, then the boardwalk behind where I stood.

“What are you doing out here?” He grabbed my hands, pulling me out of the headlights.

“I was- I- I’m taking a walk,” I stuttered, eyes innocently widening. Poot’s expression softened a degree. It was almost like a dream, seeing him where I had been escaping the past couple weeks in the baby hours of the day.

“At two in the morning?” Poot asked, then seemed to catch himself as he shook his head. “I’m not sure I should ask.”

He sighed and released his hold of my fingers, putting his hands into his pockets as he surveyed the beach. I followed his eyes, expecting for him to see Tommy standing there, then having to explain to Poot something I didn’t quite understand myself. But, he was nowhere to be seen, all that was left was the ocean.

“Look. Let me take you home. I’m not sure how you do it in Michigan, but it’s usually not safe to be promenading around at night by yourself,” he nodded his head toward his car, casting one more wistful glance down the rest of the road.

“Are you okay, Poot?” I asked, feet staying planted as I watched him. He stopped near the door to his car, opening his mouth only to close it again seconds later.

“Yeah, Cal.” He motioned for me to follow, then started climbing in. It was frustrating that whatever was going on, he was keeping it to himself. Usually, people had no problem opening up to me.

Taking in a deep breath of ocean air through my nose, I lifted my foot to take a step forward before he spoke again. “I know it’s probably useless, but I’ll ask anyway.”

I hadn’t even seen him pop back up, but there he was, standing behind the door again. My foot lowered to the ground as I waited for him to continue.

“What?” I prompted when the break before the question lasted too long.

“I just have to ask because there’s this possibility that you might’ve...I mean, it’s not like...” Poot appeared to be having a quiet argument with himself, mumbling some parts that I could barely hear. Then suddenly, his sky blues darted to me. “This might sound completely ridiculous, but have you, uh, seen Tommy tonight? You know, when you were-” he waved his hand at the sidewalk, “-walking?”

“Why?” It was a stupid thing to ask, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him we had just been sitting together.

“It’s nothing big,” he said quickly, shoulders rising and falling like a shock had gone through them. I could tell by the way he said it that it was something big. Something I probably shouldn’t have asked an explanation for. “Tommy was staying the night at my place. I woke up, and he wasn’t there. It’s not anything big. I couldn’t find him in the house, though, and then he didn’t answer his phone. I mean, it’s no big deal. Just thought I’d, drive. A little. No big-”

Poot stopped the last word from coming out of his mouth, realizing how hard he was trying to cancel out his stress with the same phrase. The normal bravado I had known him for shrunk a notch. Placing the palm of his hand on his temple, he rubbed the skin near his eyebrow.

“He’s been having a rough time lately,” his voice was softer, “I don’t know, I just wanted to find him because-”

“Because what?” Tommy’s voice had an edge to it as he stepped into the beam of light created by Poot’s car. Now that I could see him properly, he looked more worn than usual. With exhausted purple bags beneath his eyes, there was a gaunt look to his face: too much life happening in too short a time.

“Oh.” Poot’s voice was hollow in a controlled way. A smile that wasn’t his own stretched tightly across his lips as Tommy suspiciously glanced between Poot and I. “There you are, Tom. I was just going to give Calico a ride home. Hop in and I’ll take us back to my place after we drop her off.”

“Why are you out here?” Tommy ignored his friend’s light-hearted attempt to get him into the car. His ocean eyes--now glowing in the heavy light--were building up a quiet storm.

Poot’s smile tautened. “I saw that you were gone and decided to go on a drive. Now c’mon, man. Let’s get going, Calico looks really tired.”

He had tried to emphasize every syllable of my name as discreetly as he could, but I didn’t miss it. Tommy caught on to it also, the direct meaning translating into We can talk about this later, but not in front of her. He cast a long look at me, the subtle frown over his brow deepened.

“Go ahead and take her home, I’m going to stick around here.”

That wasn’t the answer Poot was looking for, his smile disappeared in a nanosecond. I could hear his teeth snap together as he clenched his jaw. The lightness of his tone was gone, his words were now logged down with a well-practiced evenness. “Let’s just go home. You look drained.”

I wanted to tell them that I was fine, I could walk home, but the sentences weren’t coming out. The building tension between the two friends thickened in the air, and as much as I felt I should make my exit, it kept me rooted in place.

“You should take Calico back to her house,” Tommy repeated, shuffling a hand through his hair. There was a block of silence between them as they stared each other down, both reaching a standstill but not daring to say anything more in front of me.

Poot was the first one to break, if only for a moment. “Go ahead and get into my car, Cal. I’ll be there in one second.”

A long second passed, then another, but by the third, my feet remembered how to move and I strode to the passenger’s side. The two of them were statues, unmoving as I slid into the car then shut the door behind myself.

And that was probably the moment when I should have turned on the radio and closed my eyes. I knew it. I knew the shell of the car wouldn’t be enough to shut out the conversation Poot was trying his hardest to keep me away from. Yet my eyes didn’t as much as flick to the dial on his dashboard.

Poot glanced over his shoulder, checking through the front windshield that I was in. Satisfied, he leaned toward Tommy. I could hear his voice vibrating through the walls of the car, could feel how low it was. It was slightly muffled to a point where I could only make out a couple words at a time.

His friend wasn’t even looking at him, his eyes were focused on the empty shop windows behind Poot, face deeply set in a scowl. Only when Poot had finished talking did Tommy blink, and open his mouth for a simple string of words that were so soft, I couldn’t hear them.

Whatever they had been, it completely made Poot react in a way I had never seen him act before. Arms flailing out as he obviously forgot to keep his voice lowered, he shook his head. I could hear everything like I was a fish in a glass bowl. “I don’t have to worry? Are you kidding me? You’ve been a complete mess lately, then your dad pushed you around this morning, and when you ask to stay at my place, you disappear? Do you have any clue how fucking scary it is to wake up and not be able to find or get a hold of you?”

I was blown away by his yelling, while Tommy remained stoic as he stared straight ahead: not moving an inch. Poot’s shoulders rose and fell in deep breaths of frustration as he waited for him to say something, or anything.

“What did you think I was going to do?” He wasn’t trying to keep his voice low anymore. Sharp and spiteful, Tommy managed to sound just as angry with a normal voice. “Kill myself or something?”

Poot sputtered a string of words I couldn’t comprehend except for some accentuated profanities. I could see his back muscles beneath his white t-shirt tense as his fists clenched. Eventually, he took in a forced breath and seemed to find some of his balance again. Suddenly conscious once more of me sitting in his car, he leaned forward again, speaking in a low tone.

All I could catch was “...wanted...know you were okay...”

Tommy clenched his jaw, the heat that had fizzled out of Poot could now been seen growing in his ocean eyes. “Because I’m clearly that unstable.” As his expression tightened, his words lost their energy, fading through the windshield of the car. They came out like he had already deemed them futile.

Though Poot’s next words were low, they still vibrated to me. “You know better than I do that every time you get beat up by your dad, you get worse than usual. I never know what to expect out of you.”

It wasn’t until Tommy’s eyes shot at me straight through the windshield when I realized I definitely wasn’t supposed to hear that. Kendall had mentioned that there were rumors about Tommy’s dad that day at the tide pools, my heart ached with the newfound information that one of them were true.

“Poot,” Tommy’s words were coming out louder, losing their stability. “Shut up.”

“Why should I? You’re scaring me, Tom! It’s ridiculous you think that you can do whatever you want! You’re just like Drew sometimes because you don’t care how much you’re hurting everyone else around you!” Poot’s anger came flashing back. I shrunk into the expensive leather upholstery as Tommy bristled.

Both were puffing their chests out, inching toward each other as a rough current of anger coursed between them. I could feel my hands start to wobble and quake with nerves, I should have just made a run for it when Tommy first made his appearance.

“I’m not. My fucking. Brother.”

Tommy’s hands reached out so fast, it almost looked like his friend had stumbled back on his own account. He had barely taken his first step for another shove when I whipped the door open. “Hey!”

Both of them froze, turning their heads to face me. My fingers were clenched on the top of the door, brain so jumbled I couldn’t remember the time between sitting in the car and standing outside. I wasn’t sure what my plan had been. Throat tight as my heart thudded, I shakily opened my mouth. “Stop. Please.”

It came out softer than I had intended, but it got the point across. Both of them looked at me like they had been shaken out of a dream. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until Tommy let out a long sigh, shoulders collapsing as if all the life had been stolen from him. I unclamped my hands from the door, hanging them loosely by my sides.

Poot silently fumed, making himself take steps away from Tommy as he once again tried to cool down. He strode to his me, grabbing my hand as if asking for a weight to keep him from shooting off the earth.

Everything was quiet and still. I couldn’t hear the waves, couldn’t feel the breeze, and didn’t see much except for the two boys by the car.

Contained, Poot raised his head to look at Tommy. “I know you aren’t Drew.” The sound of his name heavily coated the air. “But please, for now, get in the car.”

Tommy’s body looked dragged down with the kind of weight I hoped I would never know. “No. I can’t...No.”

“Please, Tommy. Get in the car,” Poot said through grit teeth, his hand tightening on mine. I could see his posture start to crumple as he lost the will to argue.

“No,” Tommy almost whispered. Then with one last fleeting glance at my hand embraced by Poot’s, he turned around, and started walking off.

“Tommy.” Poot’s voice rapidly turned from angry to pleading. “Come on, man. Let me take you back to my house. All your stuff is there.” He continued to walk away, like he couldn’t hear anything other than his own footsteps on the pavement. “Tommy.”

As if taking an evening stroll, Tommy became further and further away. I was small and insignificant as I stood there, wondering why Poot didn’t chase him after the big ruckus he made. I guessed people could only be pushed so far before any other effort felt worthless.

“Idiot,” he said under his breath, still gripping my hand. I didn’t know what to do except squeeze his fingers back and watch Tommy disappear into the night.

After what felt like hours, Poot turned to me, looking like a kid in desperate need of a hug.

“I’m sorry. I tried to keep it...quiet. All of that shouldn’t have happened in front of you.” He looked down the road where Tommy had disappeared.

No words wanted to come through my throat. When I finally spoke, it sounded like I had discovered my voice for the first time and was afraid to speak too loud and break it. “No. It’s-it’s fine...I just know both of you really didn’t want me to hear that.”

Poot grunted and shook his head. Neither of us talked, the motor of his expensive car purred through the silence of the night. After a while, he gained control of himself and gave one more tug on my hand before letting it go.

“I’ll give you a ride home.” He didn’t wait for my reply and left me alone on the pavement as he swung into the car. I gulped, following him without further instruction.

When all the doors were closed, Poot pulled out and did a U-turn, avoiding the way Tommy walked. The ride was silent and penetrating. Both of us were thinking about the same thing, but didn’t have the guts to talk about it.

When Poot pulled up to Jon’s curb, I unbuckled, ready to get inside and put space between myself and what had happened. Before I could, Poot put his hand on my thigh to stop me, fingers solid on my skin.

“Can we talk, for a second?” he tentatively asked. My mouth ineffectively flopped open before I found it within myself to react.

“Uh, sure. Yeah. No problem.”

Poot nodded, removed his hand, then shut off his car. “Let’s go sit by your pool.”

After the two of us had stepped back into the cool, muggy night air, we walked to the backyard. Someone had left the pool’s underwater lights on, so there was a blue glow to everything. Poot lead the way as I followed, tired beyond belief yet completely awake.

My mind was numb, straining to chew through everything that transpired. I had all the pieces, but couldn’t shift them the right way to make everything connect.

As we approached the pool, Poot took off his flip-flops and sat down, swinging his feet into the water. The surface rippled at his presence, bouncing the light around the small waves. Sweeping his legs back and forth, the sound accompanied the sound of frogs in the distance.

I sat beside him, sliding my own shoes off and meekly dipping my toes into the water. Jon had one of those hi-tech temperature systems for his pool: it was always chilled for days the ocean was too warm to be comfortable.

“Look.” He broke the silence, leaning over so that our arms were barely touching. Our skin was an alien powder-blue from the underwater lights. “I need you to promise not to tell anyone what happened.”

“I won’t,” I weakly claimed, untangling my voice from the back of my throat. Something personal about Tommy wasn’t for me to tell, or talk about. It wasn’t even for me to know about, but somehow, everything happened in an unstoppable blur.

“It’s just that, it’s complicated.” Poot looked away from me, eyes entranced by the water as he thought something through. “Very complicated. I can’t expect you to understand what’s going on, only to know that this isn’t something to share.” Another pause. “The less you get involved with Tommy’s problems, the better.”

I nodded, looking down at the moving reflection of water on my tank top. “Of course.”

The warmth of Poot’s skin caught me off-guard as he slid his hand over mine where they sat in my lap. I disconnected my fingers, letting him take a hold of my left hand. He pulled it into his own lap, smoothing his fingers across my wrist as he studied the contours that made it up.

Pressing my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I looked at his face. It wasn’t right to see him like this, so upset and worried.

“He’s my best friend.” Poot flipped my hand over and traced the lifelines with his slightly calloused pointer finger. An image of Tommy walking away from us burned through my mind, he had looked so lonely. Why didn’t he understand that his friend was only trying to help? Maybe he was dumber than I thought. “He doesn’t deserve all that crap.”

I nodded, things like suicide and domestic violence were horrible, terrible things that I couldn’t fathom. It wasn’t fair that someone would have to suffer from one, much less both of them. My stupid mouth wanted to ask questions, like how long has Tommy been getting hit? How often does it happen? What does he usually do?

“This is the only time I can make a clean escape.” So that was what he was trying to get away from. There were so many things left unanswered, but I didn’t dare bother Poot about it some more.

“I’m sorry.” An apology was all I felt fit to say.

Poot let out a sigh, lifting his toned calved up so that water rushed off his tan legs.

“Were you with Tommy tonight?” he queried, moving his gaze from my hand to my face. I mulled over possible replies, taking my time as I tried to think of what the best answer would be. I would have thought that since the two of them were so close and knew a lot about each other, then Poot would have at least known about Tommy’s nighttime excursions to the beach.

“Not really,” I answered once I wasn’t able to come up with anything good. Once one of Poot’s eyebrows raised in suspicion, I fumbled to say something better. “I mean, I’ve seen him a couple times when I’ve been out, but we avoid each other.” My voice wavered, unsure of why I was lying to him.

Luckily, that did the trick as his eyebrow settled back down. A small sound of approval vibrated from his throat, he nodded as if it made sense.

“So, you take walks by the beach in the middle of the night?” he asked, managing to mask up some of his prior emotions with a small, amused smile. I tiredly smoothed out my ponytail, too exhausted to care what he thought of my galavanting at night.

“Yeah. Well, usually at one in the morning. It helps me sleep.” My head was still swimming with everything. I didn’t mind that he was going to change the conversation: I wholeheartedly welcomed it. Looking at my one red toenail in the water, I watched it ripple.

“See? You’re interesting.” There was a hint of teasing in his voice.

As I stared at my feet--trying to come up with a solid comeback--I felt my hand be lifted up, and soft lips brushed against my knuckles. Hair raising as my head cautiously looked his way, he was paused with his mouth on my skin, chin and nose pressing against me. He was deep in thought, then again lifted his lips to kiss the same spot.

I sucked in a slow, deliberate breath as he turned to look at me, lowering our hands to his lap. I knew he was looking for some kind of reaction, but all I could do was stare dumbly back at him. Completely lost for words, or thoughts.

His confidence astounded me: Poot was so at ease, it made me feel more awkward than usual. All I could do was watch as he tilted his head and his nose became closer to me. His lips were pleasant against the slant of my shoulder as he lay three kisses in a row.

My heart was gathering speed, blood warming at an exponential rate as he looked at me for a confirmation or rejection: anything. Poot must have seen something on my frozen face, because he smiled, then let go of my fingers and slid it around the back of my neck.

I didn’t realize we were kissing until a couple seconds after we initially made contact. It wasn’t probing, our lips didn’t get caught between each other’s: it was easy, and almost careful. Though mild, it sent my brain into a tizzy, and I was vaguely aware that I didn’t have feeling in my toes. But there were other things to focus on.

It wasn’t until after he pulled away when I realized I had closed my eyes. Poot kept his face within a centimeter of mine. Our noses barely brushed as he carefully smiled at me, heat bouncing off my face from his sweet breaths.

My skin was one-hundred percent aware of every place he was touching me. Magnified.

No matter how nice the kiss had been, I couldn’t help but question what just happened.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

“So you have everything packed?” I sat on the edge of Mom and Jon’s bed, feet dangling in the air. Their room had been hard for me to enter these first couple weeks. It didn’t have any kind of forbidden label, but always felt like something I should keep my distance from.

Mom nodded, pointing to a svelte backpack waiting by the door. She took off her second earring, placing it carefully beside the other one on her dresser. “Yup, packed last night.” Turning to face me in her hiking shorts, plain white t-shirt and safari vest, she put her hands on her hips. “Are you proud of me or what?”

I stared at the bag skeptically. “You’re sure you have everything?”

“Yes, Calico,” Mom continued tittering around, putting her hair into a ponytail and checking herself in the mirror time after time. I watched her, unsure that she packed everything she would need for the hike she and Jon were taking in an hour. Due to her past record in Michigan, I needed to make the list and pack everything myself to make sure she had the simplest of items she normally would have forgotten.

As little sleep that I had gotten last night, I still set my alarm so that I could rise early and help her figure out what was going to go into her bag. I had hoped that it would have been one thing that hadn’t changed about her. Sure, it used to be annoying to baby her like that, but I wasn’t sure where I fit into Mom’s life anymore.

“You remembered your water bottle?” There was no sense in not double-checking, just to be safe. Mom was humming, answering each question between breaths.

“Yes.”

“The aluminum one?”

“Yes.”

“What about the sunscreen?”

“Of course.”

“And the bug spray?”

“Yes.”

“Uh, an extra pair of socks?” Only four items in and I was already starting to run out of items, it wasn’t like they were going on an overnight safari. Mom smiled, shaking her head like I was being amusing.

“Two extra pairs. And yes, I remembered the compass and my cell phone and the elephant that we’re going to ride through the forest,” she chuckled, nodding her head for every new item as she folded her light jacket then tossed it by the bag.

Her humor was lost on me. “Are you sure, because I don’t want you to-”

“Cal, stop worrying about me. Everything is taken care of.” Mom walked to me, endearingly smiling as she smoothed her hand over the top of my head. “Shouldn’t you be off doing teenager-y things instead of trying to nag your own mother?”

I pulled my legs up to the bed, crossing them in front of me. The same argument she had been using about me trying to make new friends, have a good summer, and stop thinking about her was starting to get really annoying. She sure hadn’t thought like that back home, where I had spent most of my seventeen years being the mother to her.

Mom didn’t miss the expression on my face. Sighing while her graceful shoulders lowered, the smile started to fade from her lips. “Look, hon. Is there something you want to talk about?”

The bed shifted as she sat beside me, manicured hands folded in her lap. There were a couple things I could have said right away, but I took my time in sorting through them so I could get it right the first time.

How was I supposed to tell my mom I felt like I didn’t belong down here, in her new life? Especially when I didn’t have anywhere else better to go. Is there any way to put into words how misplaced I was?

“I don’t know, Mom.” After minutes of silence, that’s all I could come up with. She brushed my bedridden hair away from my face, now frowning at me. Opening her mouth to say something, we heard the whoosh of the front door being romantically opened and closed downstairs.

“I’m back, Laura! Ready to head out!”

Jon’s grand voice swept through the halls, up the staircase to where we were. I knew I had lost Mom’s attention the instant she smiled again, getting to her feet as she glided to her open doorway. “Just give me a couple minutes!”

Turning back to me, she remembered I was still there, and the smile disappeared from her face like a magic trick. “Oh, Cal. I can ask him to wait a little bit longer if-”

The way she said it had been hesitating, I could practically hear another voice meshed with that one saying “Jon hasn’t been able to get time off work for a long time and I’ve really been looking forward to this day-trip.”

“No. It’s okay, Mom,” I interrupted, briskly sliding from her bed and walking past her. “Whatever, we can talk later. Have a good time.”

“Calico-”

But I was already in my room with the door shut before she could call another word after me. The angst with my Mom was building, so as I decided to take a shower, it all happened in a determined blur. Grabbing my drying towel off the back of the chair at the desk, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed away my frustrations until I was as pink and shiny as a mole rat.

My extensive body-care regiment worked. By the time I had gotten out, put shea butter on my face, filed my nails, tidied my eyebrows, and moisturized from head to toe, Mom and Jon had left.

The house was silent as I went downstairs, Kendall and Griffin were still asleep, and probably would be for another hour or so. Pulling my damp hair into a floppy bun, I padded around the first floor of the house with no direction. After arranging four of the remotes on the coffee table in a square, I went to the kitchen and played with the water faucet in the sink.

“There is many rains in Florida, but that does not mean you should waste all the water.”

I whipped around, Lilia had made an entrance without a sound. She was wearing her usual of starch white capris and a tropical blue-colored t-shirt. Hair pulled back, the gray streaks whirled through the bun at the back of her head.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, switching the water off. Lilia nodded at me once with her serious expression, walking to the small closet near the pantry where she placed her purse and car keys.

“How are you this morning, Calico?” She made a beeline for the sink, pushing me aside with the sheer force of her will. I shrugged, leaning against the counter and patting my feet against the chilly linoleum.

“Fine. What about you?”

The water gushed and bubbled as she thoroughly washed her hands. I had been here long enough now to know that this was all part of Lilia’s routine. She put her things away, washed her hands, went outside to check the lawn to make sure the caretakers were keeping up to par, tried to rouse Griffin and Kendall if they were still lazing around in bed, then went on with the rest of her day.

“You do not look fine,” Lilia stated, turning off the sink and strongly drying her hands. I self-consciously patted down the bumps in my hair. “Griffin and Kendall talk to me all the time when they are not fine.”

Crossing her tan arms, she turned toward me and waited. I was too surprised from her suddenness to say anything, but by the time I could feel the word “what?” start to make its way up my throat, she had decided I wasn’t going to talk and started walking out of the room.

“It is okay. You talk to me when you want to. I am a very good listener.” Lilia made her exit, leaving me to stew in the aftermath of her abruptness. Turning to the sink again, I flipped the faucet on, watching the water stream out before sharply turning it off.

A movement outside of the window caught my eye, I saw Poot’s blonde hair slightly bouncing in the wind as he carried planks of wood toward the large hole in the ground that would eventually become the shed.

I don’t know what I had been really expecting to happen this morning. Like thinking that Tommy was going to be here, working on the shed with Poot like nothing had happened the night before.

Walking to the door that led to the porch, I stepped into the dewy air, sliding on a raggedy pair of Mom’s flip-flops she kept outside.

Poot looked up with a quiet smile as I approached. As unsure as I was about what happened between us last night, I had decided as I lay in bed last night that it would be best if I played it cool. I felt like he wasn’t really crushing on me, like we were friends who simply...kissed.

He looked fine with it, whatever it was, because his eyes were warm and friendly as I stopped beside him. Even after our goodbyes last night, consisting only of an awkward hug and simple “goodnight,” he was more confident than I was.

“Hey,” Poot greeted, picking up a clipboard by the hole--now strengthened with planked supports before they would pour the concrete. I crossed my arms, wriggling my toes in the wet grass.

“Hey.” I was as shy as a quiet kindergartner, constantly remembering the way his lips felt against mine. For some reason, I had the urge to say something to fill the silence that would have happened if we stopped the conversation at that. So I said something stupid. “Tommy’s not here?”

Poot’s face fell, twisting a fresh knot of guilt around my stomach. Why hadn’t my brain filtered that it was stupid to bring Tommy up in the first five seconds? Poot looked like he lost a couple years as he stood there, making me want to step forward and put my arms around him.

“No. He’s mad, so I probably won’t be seeing him for a couple days. We barely fight, but when we do, he avoids me.” Poot slid a pencil from his pocket, sketching some notes on the side of the wrinkled piece of paper on the clipboard.

I nodded, lowering my eyes and biting my tongue to stop myself from any other unnecessary things.

“Anyway,” Poot said in a drastically cheerful voice, “Feel like playing soccer today?”

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