A Hard Headed Woman

Somehow I managed to find some coffee grounds, but they smelt a bit strong and a little stale yet I knew that was the best it was going to get. Using my skills from camping with my parents I made the coffee using creative ways to make a strainer and all that jazz.

A gift I have is being able to find myself around strangers’ kitchens, which was a strange gift to have but it was pretty useful.

Just as I finished pouring the coffee into a cup Paulie was making her way over to me in a zombie-like fashion, her dark brown eyes hardly even open only her sense of smell truly guiding her. I had to chuckle seeing that her coffee senses were tingling. Paulie grabbed the cup from my hands barely acknowledging me and took a sip.

“Amber you are a fucking saint,” she mutters savoring the flavor in her mouth but then her eyes shot wide open looking at me like I was a fucking ghost of Christmas past.

“Wait what the fuck are you doing here? Shit, did I drive to Arizona while tripping balls on those shrooms?” Paulie questions all at once not letting me answer her inquiries.

“Does it look like this is somewhere I’d live?” I counter gesturing the decrypted house. Paulie looked around the kitchen.

“Kind of, you’re into renovating homes.”
“You have smoked yourself retarded,” I state.
“That’s impossible----holy shit that’s Utivich, oh man I actually grabbed him,” Paulie rambles wide eyed as she looked at Utivich who eyed her suspiciously.
“You should learn to control yourself,” Utivich suggests.
“Oh shut it Utivich, it’s the closest you’ll get to getting some.”

“Amber what’s going on?” Paulie demands.
“This cretin is getting on my nerve that’s what,” I mutter narrowing my eyes at Utivich.
“Pinche Amber I am talking about where we are at.”

“I don’t know shit, we are where we are, they are who they are, its not a dream because you can get hurt. Does that answer your questions to your liking Paulina?”
“Fuck,” Paulie mutters drinking more coffee like it was her personal flask of Jack Daniels hoping it’d take the edge off.

“Everyone out of the building me and that man have business,” Nora’s familiarly loud voice announces in the next room over.
“She’s joking,” Gwen states nervously as I entered the room to see Nora with that glint in her eyes.
“Hey Amber tell this crazy lady I have needs,” Nora states upon seeing me.
“Keep the shop closed for now Nora,” I respond seriously.
“What? That’s like asking a fat man to run three miles. It’s not going to happen. You have that hot piece Darren to go home to so you should understand.”

“You do know it is possible to be productive not reproductive every once in a while,” I counter getting right next to her in hopes of leading her away from Wicki.
“In a way this is very productive, besides I’m not looking to reproduce.”
“He’s got the clap,” I state in a hushed tone that only she could hear.
“Like he’s got rhythm and claps?” Nora says with hope.

“No like shit ain’t clean venereal disease kind of clap.”
“But he’s a fictional character, I can’t get diseases from those.”
“If we are going to play that game then that means you won’t be getting any orgasms from him either.”

“You’re a terrible wing woman.”
“Only looking out for yew,” I state.
“Aren’t you curious about having sex with one of them? I know for a fact you’d bang Aldo and Hugo in a New York Minute. I swear it wouldn’t count as cheating being that we are in a different country,” Nora argues rather loudly.

“I’m not in a bangin’ kind of mood Nora, so that means no one is getting any.”
“You’re no fun Amber, you are supposed to guide the cock not block it.”

“Darling no cock needs to be guided, your vag is like a grand canyon by this point if a cock cannot find it you have some serious issues,” I state. Paulie and Gwen let out a snort of laughter whilst Nora glared at me. The Basterds just seemed a little confused but since Nora was loud I was certain that Aldo and Hugo heard Nora’s comment about me wanting to jump their bones.

“Oh and Amber isn’t living with Darren anymore, since we are finally conscious, Amber tell us what happened,” Gwen states.

“Wait what? When did this happen?” Paulie questions.

“Couple weeks or so, I caught him in bed with someone else, he has the gull to ask if I wanted to join, I answered with my leaving, couple days later I go back to get my things and he goes all sorts of crazy, saying he’s the one who decides if things would end, blah blah, blah, end of story,” I ramble.

“And by blah, blah, blah you mean you two fought each other then you left,” Gwen adds.
“Pretty much,” I shrug.
“What an asshole,” Nora responds.
“Agreed but oh well, I don’t think I was as upset as I should have been having found him with someone else, so I guess I didn’t like him very much anyways,” I comment with a shrug.

“All the more reason for you to bang,” Nora continues wiggling her eyebrows.
“Pinche Nora,” I laugh.
“That’s a yes right?”
“No, Noreen its not going to happen, keep focused on the fact that we actually need to go home, this isn’t a vacation of fuck okay?” I reply with a small smile.

“Oh but it could be,” Nora states looking at Wilhelm Wicki mischievously.
“Down girl,” Paulie orders pulling Nora back.
“Fuck this is going to be a real task, someone get me some rope,” I say jokingly.

Wilhelm Wicki as well as the rest of the Basterds now were become more aware of what the whole conversation was about. Looking at Wicki I couldn’t help but notice a slight excitement in his brown eyes but who knows that could have been fear.