I Need a Hero

-- Brenda’s P.O.V. --

“Brenda….Brenda…Brenda!” I groaned, covering my ears with my hands. The jumping on my bed -somehow- got worse. Finally someone plopped down on my back, making the oxygen rush out of my lungs. I began to cough, thrashing under the body holding me down at my waist.

“Get off me!” I screeched. The person quickly complied, releasing me from their weight. I flipped onto my back, holding my neck lightly as I took deep breaths. I glared up at Jessica who was now in the bathroom, brushing her hair. “You fat ass. That fucking hurt.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jessica sang.

“I’m sure you don’t,” I muttered, climbing out of bed. I looked out the window to see it was overcast, the rain just waiting to fall. I smiled. I always liked rain. My smile fell. They probably wouldn’t dream of letting us outside. “Hey Brenda?”

“Yeah?” She walked out of the bathroom, heading over to her trunk.

“Do they let us out when it looks like it’s going to rain?” I asked quietly, walking into the bathroom. I opened the cabinet that jutted out of the wall above the sink. I rolled my eyes when I saw nothing medical related inside. I looked down at my forearm to see a faint red letting me know that it had bled a bit in my sleep.

“Sometimes. It depends what kind of mood they're in really,” Jessica replied. I walked into the room again, digging through my trunk. Jessica peeled off her shirt from the night, tossing it into her basket. On the lower stomach was two stars on either edge, closer to her hips.

“Nice ink,” I approved, pulling out my clothes and tossing them on the bed. She looked down and smiled, tracing the outline of one.

“Thanks. My friend Tammy had done it right before I got in here. I always dreamed of getting out one day and getting covered in them,” Jessica replied, a dreamy look in her eyes. She shook her head, smiling at me again. “Got anything?”

“A little.” I took off my sweater, shortly followed by my tank. On my left hip was a dove. My lower back had a small scribble of ‘no stopping me’.

“I like it,” Jessica said, nodding in approval.

“Thanks. I was about to get another, but, well, this happened,” I stated, motioning around me. I pulled on my shirt and took off my shorts to trade for my jeans.

“Well, maybe some day.” I bit my lip to stop myself from mocking her. Wasn’t she the one that said we’d probably never get out of here? “What were you going to get?”

“Huh?” I looked up to see Jessica already in a Linkin Park tee and changing into some Capri’s. “Oh. I was going to get ‘With the lights out, it’s less dangerous’ across my lower stomach. My buddy drew up this amazing stencil. He was going to ink it on me, today actually.”

“Nirvana?” I nodded with a wide grin. “Kick ass.”

“Thanks.” I pulled on some socks before slipping on my shoes. I clasped on my necklace before slipping into my gloves. I walked into the bathroom, brushing my teeth. Once I was finished I walked into the room to see Jessica sitting in the middle of her bed, paperback in lap again. “Damn. That must be a good fucking book.”

“Correction, was,” Jessica replied, closing the book with a finality to it. I couldn’t help but laugh at her pleased face. “Shut up!”

I blinked after the book had hit me in the head, falling to the floor. I picked it up, examining the front. Heart Shaped Box. “Good song,” I pointed out as I flipped it over to the back to read the summary.

“Main reason I picked it up. Besides, it seemed interesting,” Jessica replied with a shrug. “If you want you can go ahead and read it, too. Since I finished it in a day no one would probably notice. Do you read fast?”

“When I’m interested, definitely. Should be done by tomorrow. Especially if I can’t go outside. I’ll be stuck in here most of the day,” I replied with a grimace. I tossed the book onto my nightstand before I folded my pajamas back up and placed them into my trunk. I picked my towel up from where I had dropped it last night. I tossed it into the hamper with the rest of the clothes and towels.

"By the way, I like your shirt." I looked down to see 'CA is for lovers'. "I use to live there you know."

"Really?" I asked, amazed.

"Totally. Jimmy and I lived over in Long Beach. Got sent all the way here to Utah. This was the only place 'qualified enough' that was close enough."Just as I finished making my bed, there was a knock on the door. “We’re decent!” Jessica called.

The door opened to reveal Nick. I let out a breath I hadn’t noticed I was holding it. I didn’t realize how much I had really been terrified of Ron until now. I dazedly followed Jessica out of the room and down the hall to the cafeteria. As we sat down I had the major feeling of a cycle. I hated working in a schedule. “Whatcya thinking about?”

“Nothing,” I replied, waving it off. She gave me a disbelieving look as nurses walked up with trays. They just held a slice of buttered toast, a plastic bowl with a plastic spoon, and a plastic cup of apple juice. I looked around, surprised to see none of the guys. It was like Jessica was psychic because she was talking before I even opened my mouth.

“None of the guys ever show up to breakfast. It use to be just me and this guy Aaron. He was moved down to level two.”

“Oh.” It fell silent for a few minutes before Jessica spoke again.

“So do you have a boyfriend back at home?” I almost choked on my spoon. For some reason I was shocked she would ask such a thing. I wasn’t sure why either. I took a long sip of apple juice before looking up at her. Her blue eyes were literally sparkling with curiosity.

“What would make you bring that up?”

“I’m trying to figure out what the hell is going on in that mind of yours,” Jessica replied, pointing at me with her spoon. “I figured that was one of the only reasons you’d look all distant and shit.”

“Oh. Well no,” I replied, a frown settling on my face. “I, pathetically, am still a virgin to everything but pecks on the lips actually.”

“Really?” I didn’t really like the way she asked that. She sounded…surprised.

“What’s that suppose to mean?” I demanded, sounding a bit defensive.

“Oh, get your panties out of a knot. I didn’t mean it that way. I just rarely meet a girl that is still innocent to a certain extent. Usually if a girl is ballsy enough to get a tattoo then they’re usually not very innocent.”

“Well I guess I’m that one in a million,” I muttered, moving my cereal around with my spoon.

“Seriously, don’t get all gloomed up. I swear, it’s a good thing. Guys appreciate girls that haven’t ‘been around’ a lot. They don’t think you’re just a hoe or anything,” Jessica reasoned. I just nodded my head, taking a bite of my toast. “You know what?”

“What?” I grumbled. I was actually just hoping to hurry up and go back to the room already.

“I think a certain Jonathon has the hots for you,” Jessica cooed. I felt the blush creep up my face, causing me to study my cereal. Jessica’s giggling filled my ears.

“Fuck off Jessie,” I muttered.

“Do you like him?” She asked quickly.

“No!”

“You don’t like him?”

“No!”

“So you do like him?”

“I don’t know!” I shouted, slamming my hands on the table. This caused Jessica to go wide eyed and all the nurses to look over at me. I pushed my tray away from me, sinking into my seat. The tension suddenly disappeared by Jessica’s giggling.

“You know you do,” Jessica teased as a nurse came by and took our trays.

“So when do we get to go back to the room?” I interjected suddenly. Jessica rolled her eyes, standing to her feet.

“You know, getting defensive just proves that it’s true,” she teased, walking off to talk to one of the nurses. I rolled my eyes, tapping my fingers in a rhythm across the table, starting from my pinky to my pointer finger in constant tap. I did not like Johnny. He was just a friend, if even.

“You might want to stop that. Helga will cut off your hand if she hears that,” Jessica whispered, sitting back in her spot across from me. I froze, staring at her with wide eyes. “No joke. Johnny does the same thing and she’s despises it.”

“Of course he does,” I groaned.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you guys think alike,” Jessica defended, shrugging. Just then Nick appeared. We stood to go meet him at the doors. He quickly ushered us out of the room as Helga began to turn around.

“What was that?” I asked laughing.

“Helga has the hots for Mr. Nick here,” Jessica laughed, winking.

“And these six never let me live it down,” Nick muttered. I smiled sympathetically at him. As we stopped outside our room Nick ran a hand through his hair. “Oh yeah Jess, it’s therapy time.”

I saw Jessica tense up. For the first time I had been here I saw Jessica as something besides happy. She just nodded, her lips pursed to form a straight line. I wanted to try to reassure her, but Nick opened the door, cutting off my view from her as she disappeared behind the door.

“See you later Brenda.” I looked at the door for a moment later, hoping I could magically see through it. I finally nodded, smiling weakly.

“Bye.” With that I walked in, the door locking behind me. I rested back on my headboard, twiddling my fingers. Finally I picked up the book, opening it to the first page. Maybe I can finally get my mind off some things for now.